23 missed calls

I call her, the phone rings, and rings, and then suddenly, voicemail.

"Weird." I mutter to myself. I check her location and once again the technology of Apple has failed me. Why does this thing always seem to glitch out when I get worried?

I tend not to bother her with multiple calls at a time, but this time I am just really worried. I know that she doesn't like it when I blow up her phone, but I need to know she's okay. If anything, at least maybe she will appreciate how much I care about her.

I call her again. The phone rings, and rings, and then suddenly, voicemail.

"Damnit..." I say to myself again. Now I am genuinely growing worried. It is 11:30 P.M., and I know she has been off work for an hour now. Why is her location off? Why isn't she answering?

Maybe she got into an accident on her way home. Maybe she got carjacked and they tossed her phone into an ocean or something. Maybe she got picked up off the street and God forbid anything happened to her. Or maybe...

I call again. The phone rings, and rings, and then suddenly, voicemail. I don't say anything this time. Instead, a feeling of fear begins to wash over me. The last time we spoke on the phone, she answered so frantically and hung up in such a rush. I can tell she is going through a lot right now.

We haven't seen each other in about three weeks. She told me she has been going through a lot with her job and her mother and her living situation and that she just needs some time to sort everything out.

Still, as far as I know, everything is good between us. I have afforded her some space for the time being, but tonight something has just come over me. I can't deal with the thought of her stressing, worrying about everything too much like I do. Seeking comfort in unusual places.

I only hope that it all didn't become too much for her. Maybe she adopted some bad habits to cope with the stress. Maybe she is strung out in some drug house right now, in danger around those animals. Maybe she had a mental break and hurt herself or worse.

Tears begin to well in my eyes as once again I call her. The phone rings, and rings, and then suddenly, voicemail.

"Please" I plead with myself, or whoever may be listening. At this point I just miss her so much, I really just want to hear her voice, to know that everything is okay. She has gotten so distantly lately, she seems strained anytime I talk to her. Her stress has mounted to a point where I am lucky to get an "I love you too."

I just feel so bad for her. I wish she was here so I could hold her in my arms and tell her everything is going to be okay. I want to relieve her stress in every which way and let her know that as long as we have each other, everything is going to work out.

I call again, the phone rings, and rings, and then suddenly, voicemail. I know she has been spending a lot of time at her friend's house, staying there to unwind and get away from her mom. I'm not sure what exactly it is her and her mom are arguing about, she hasn't bothered to tell me. I only hope she is safe in the company of friends.

The thoughts start to creep in, but I know my beloved, and that she would never betray my trust. The bond we share is far too strong, true love doesn't come often, but when it does, you can just feel it. I love her with all of my heart, and nothing could ever change that. When she answers the phone, be it today or tomorrow or whenever that time comes, I am just going to spill my entire heart to her because I want her to know what she means to me. She is my everything.

I call again. The phone rings, and rings, and suddenly, voicemail.

"Fuck" I blurt out through tears. They now stream down my cheek uncontrollably as my mind churns in a whirlwind of doubt and discomfort. I am hardly thinking straight at this point.

I call fifteen more times, and fifteen more times, the phone rings, and rings, and suddenly, voicemail. I have no thought in my mind other than to keep calling, and keep calling, and to not give up until I hear her voice. I am close to calling the police just in case she is in danger or dead somewhere. So many intrusive thoughts race through my mind, each more disgusting and vivid than the last.

I call again, the phone rings, and rings, and suddenly, a voice answers! Momentarily I am relieved, but quickly I realize, this is not her voice.

"Hello?" I say.

"Who is this?" A man's voice responds.

"This is Katherine's boyfriend" I respond, it's strange, she never mentioned her friend was a boy.

He lets out a soft chuckle, he pauses for a moment and says "I'm sorry dude, she's asleep, and I don't think she considers you that..."

"What?" I respond. My heart falls to the floor. Surely he misspoke, or perhaps I misheard him.

"She's been here for a week bro, and this ain't the only place she has been. I don't got time for this shit, I'll let her explain." He says as he hangs up the phone.

A tremendous feeling of grief washes over me. For a moment, I am absolutely floored by these comments. Quickly, I come to my senses. This must just be one of her friends fucking with me. Maybe the friend she was staying with has a boyfriend and they just thought it would be funny to play a trick on me.

Maybe she was just off to the side, finding a quick laugh in my discomfort. It's the least I could do for her in her time of need. I'd like to say she would never embarrass me like that, but it wouldn't be the first time.

Whatever the case may be, everything is going to be okay when I get her explanation tomorrow. Hopefully I wake up to it, I love the sweet messages she used to leave me every morning before all of this stress was put on her.