NIKO'S FATE: A TESTIMONY FROM PRISON

What is fate? Fate is determined by the choices we make. Are the choices we make good or bad? Has fate finally come to get me? I ask myself these questions every day of my life. I governed my choices, my fate on what I thought I was supposed to do and because of my choices I landed in a place I never imagine I would be in. My name is Niko this is my story on how I landed in the most unimaginable place Prison.

My story begins in my neighborhood of South L.A. where I grew up in a single parent home. My father wasn't in the picture, in fact I never knew my father. I only had pictures of him. My mother never talked about him. She called him deadbeat, worthless and so many other names I shall not mention. Not having a father figure had a profound impact on my life. I missed out on a lot of things growing up. I was a child who grew up fast.

Every weekend I would travel outside of my neighborhood and either end up at some park or Dodger stadium. I would sit there for hours watching the happy families go by. I would especially watch the father's and sons. I dreamed of having that type of connection with my own father. I craved for a father figure. Hours after I arrived at my destination, I left defeat and sad at the prospect of never having that father son bond.

When I returned home after one of my many trips, I would find my mother with a new man. Always different never the same. They would try to be friendly with me. Some would even pretend to act as a father to me. It never worked. To avoid going home I would stay out roaming the streets, hanging out with the wrong crowd. I loved it. It gave me a sense of freedom and power.

My mother was never home, always with some man or doing drugs. I had no father, the streets was all I knew. The streets gave me something I never had, stability. When I was on the streets, I felt like I had a home. Many times when I needed money or clothes I would go home then I returned to my real home, the streets. It was during my time on the streets when I met my best friend, Tyler.

Me and Tyler connected from the first moment we met. He was the brother I never had but always wanted. Tyler like me grew up without a father. Unlike me Tyler knew where his father was in prison. So me and Tyler did things that were stupid, we didn't care. Life on the streets is what we were all about. We robbed stores, broke into people's home and pocketed people's money and jewelry. You name it we did it. Tyler once asked me if I was afraid of getting arrested. I told him no. We continued to do these things. We called it a hit and run.

During one of our hit and run, we came across someone who would change our lives in ways we could never imagine. His name was Xavier. X was his street name. Our hit and run was well known throughout South L.A. It was no surprise that Xavier heard about them and he was impressed. Xavier gave us an offer we couldn't refuse, work with him and his crew and make lots of money. Me and Tyler said yes.

I loved working with Xavier. It came natural to me. Besides the money, brand new clothes, shoes, car and a new place to live, Xavier gave me something else I longed for and that is a father. He taught both me and Tyler the ropes of the business. I learned fast.

Xavier taught us to be tough and not to take shit from anybody. The streets can eat you alive. Xavier once told us. He was the teacher. Me and Tyler were the students. He was the father and we were the sons. Xavier molded us into the best versions of himself.

Xavier also told us life is not free. Life for life on the streets cost money or death. I had to prove to Xavier I had what it took to be part of his crew so did Tyler. One night on the last day of our lesson Xavier took me and Tyler to an abandoned warehouse. This was around the spring time. Our final lesson has begun. Xavier's exact words. I was excited yet nervous. I wanted to be part of Xavier's crew, his family so badly. I was willing to do anything Xavier wanted. Little did I know my words would haunt me to this very day.

Inside the warehouse was Xavier's crew and with them were two people a man and a woman. They both had their hands tied behind their backs and were kneeling on the floor. Okay so I followed Xavier into the warehouse, Tyler next to me. Xavier stood in front of the two people, names were Jones and Sasha.

Jones was pleading and begging Xavier to spare his life and Sasha's life. Xavier was having none of it. He called me first. I walked up to Xavier. He handed me a gun. He told me "Niko, Jones and Sasha committed a terrible crime. They stole what was mine. The cost for stealing is death. Take the gun Niko and do what told you to do."

I took the gun, aimed it at Sasha and shot her in the head. I didn't feel a thing, nothing. I had no pity. All I saw was a dead body. Next was Tyler. He did the same thing. Xavier was proud of us. That day I was welcomed into Xavier's family. My fate was sealed when I pointed the gun at Sasha and shot her.

Drugs was the name of the game. If you didn't have the money, sorry no drugs. Show me the money, you get the product that's how it's played. I didn't play any games when it came to the product. I took this very seriously. No ever messed with me.

They called me Ax because I would cut them off where it hurt the most. Their blood was mine. I took no prisoners. I quickly became the most feared man in South L.A. even Tyler feared me. Xavier was proud of me like a father is to a son. In my time of being Xavier's right-hand man, taking lives, making money, I didn't see a problem that was escalating. Tyler my best friend was quickly becoming a problem I didn't see coming. But when Xavier tells you something you do it. No questions asked. I was Xavier's right-hand man. The best at getting results.

What happened with Tyler? One of our warehouses got raided by the police and feds. Everyone got arrested including Tyler. They all knew to keep their mouths shut. Being a rat warranted a death sentence. Xavier suspected one of the guys arrested talked to the cops. Why he believed it? Here is the reason. After the warehouse was raided our main location where the product was made got raided by the police and the feds. Only two people knew about that warehouse and Tyler was one of them.

I didn't want to believe Tyler was the rat but all the signs point to him. The other suspect was Xavier's brother Eli. Eli was too loyal to Xavier and one tough S.O.B. He hated cops, feds, anybody who worked in law enforcement. There was no way Eli was the rat, so that left Tyler. Xavier had Tyler followed every day and then one day the truth came out. A betrayal so big that it hurt deep down in my soul. My best friend, my brother sold us out. For what?

Xavier was family. I was family. We were brothers, now that was all gone. I was seeing blood. I wanted blood. I wanted Tyler's blood. The proof was in my hands. Pictures of Tyler's betrayal was in my hands. Tyler's blood was going to spill. Xavier had a plan. I was all for it. No one betrays the family.

Days went by since the raid. Tyler came back to us as if nothing happened. He flat out told us a lie but we knew the truth. Tyler thought he could lie to us. He thought he got away with what he did. Little did he know Xavier and myself knew the truth. Tyler was on borrowed time.

I couldn't stand looking at Tyler. He was my enemy. He didn't know that but soon we will. The end for Tyler came on a hot July night. Xavier had one more surprise in store. This surprise changed my life forever.

Saturday came. Xavier gathered us and told us "The day has come for the rat and his pigs to die. Their blood will spill so all will know we are not to be messed with. Fear will come."

Xavier got word Tyler is meeting with the feds. We got into our cars and headed to the meeting place. We arrived right when Tyler was giving the feds information. He was scared when he saw us. He tried to run. Xavier shot him in the leg. Eli and the other's took the feds. He tied both of them up. I tied Tyler up. He was begging me to hear him out but all I saw was a rat.

One of the feds tried to talk. Eli hit him. Xavier looked at Tyler like a father would a son. I saw Xavier's eyes tear up. A son betraying his father is what I saw. Xavier said one word and that was all it took. Eli put two bullets into one of the feds. The next fed was mine, two bullets to the head. Tyler was left for last. Xavier raised his gun, without saying a word, he fired two shots into Tyler's head.

He was dead. My best friend. My first real friend. My brother who I trusted was dead. I stood over Tyler's body saying goodbye to the man he use to be. A rat was gone but trouble was coming for us.

The bodies of Tyler and the two feds were found two days later. The cops and feds knew who Tyler was and who he was connected too. Xavier told us not to worry but little did we know a third fed was in the car. She saw everything.

A warrant was issue for my arrest, Xavier, Eli and the rest of the crew. The end of July beginning of August was the end for me. I was arrested. Later I found out Xavier and Eli skipped town and left me to take the fall. I was hurt. This was the second time I was betrayed. I lost everything, my freedom, my brother and it was all my fault because I believed and trusted Xavier.

Here I am fives years after my arrested and imprisonment and I written this testimony to relieve myself of these burdens, to apologize to all those I wronged. I'm sorry. I know my words can't change the fate of those I killed. I hope my imprisonment can bring comfort to the families of my victims. Tyler, I'm sorry for what I did to you. I'm sorry for not hearing you out on that fateful day. I hope one day I can be forgiven.

I'm in prison for the rest of my life that is my fate. I can say without feeling guilty that I am free of Xavier and his influence. I'm free.