Not a Paradise, But a Prison.

I’m surrounded by the water.

It’s everywhere I look.

I don’t know why I’m here.

But I am and I can’t change that.

Even though I shouldn’t be,

I am.

I feel like I did not deserve this punishment.

All I did was support my father,

because that is what I was supposed to do.

My father was a Titan,

and a leader in The Titanomachy.

My father, like me, was punished.

He had to hold up the world,

keeping The Celestial Sphere above his shoulders.

Some say he has to hold up the Earth

but that’s a lie.

It’s false.

He holds up the sky.

And I’m stuck on this island.

Alone

And I can’t leave.

I can’t sleep.

I hear all the white noise of the

rain, the shuffling of the tree leaves,

the roaring of the ocean waves, and the

distant caws of birds.

The white noise is calming and relaxing to hear

but I still can’t sleep.

It becomes hard to sleep alone

when that is all you can do.

There is no one else here

besides the animals

but those aren’t as good company.

I miss my father and my siblings,

though we never really talked with being gods and everything.

Mainly,

I just miss having company

and right now,

I’m tired of being alone.

The waves loudly crash against the sea shore,

followed by the cracking and splintering

sound of wood.

I sit up,

my dark braided hair falling into my face.

I shift in my bed,

looking out of my window and towards the sea.

I don’t see anything,

but

that doesn’t mean anything,

there could still be something down at the sea line.

Wrapping a shawl across my shoulders,

I get out of bed and exit my comfortable little hut,

making my way to the shore.

Another wave crashes on the beach,

spraying me with salty water.

There is a wreck among the waves,

brown wood and rope and sails all broken up,

but among them,

a man lays still.

I will not be alone,

finally after years and years and years.

I will not be alone.

He is gorgeous,

with suntanned skin and dark locks,

a thick beard frames his face.

He is tall,

and relatively muscular,

but with a lean build.

I swear,

never has a mortal man looked so handsome before.

If he even is mortal.

There is a small possibility that

he could be a god, even though I’ve never seen

a mortal look so much like one.

He begins to stir

and I greet him with a small cup of nectar.

“Hello, hero. I am Calypso. Don’t worry, you’re home.”

I rest my hand on his broad shoulders,

smiling, and then I brush a lock of bushy curls from

out of his striking eyes.

“I-I’m in Ithaca?”

“Ogygia. My home.”

“No…”

Even though it’s been seven long,

long years, Odysseus refuses to love me.

He does not know what it is like

to be stranded,

to be alone,

to be without someone,

for so long.

He doesn’t love me.

Even when I beg him to.

I only ask for his love.

That’s so little in comparison to what I could ask of him.

But no.

I ask,

and he refuses to give.

I offer so much,

and he takes so little.

I know deep down that I did the right thing.

I had to.

He didn’t want me.

He wanted his home

and I wasn’t his wife

and I wasn’t his home.

As much as it hurts,

I help him build and

I help him craft

his raft

so he may find his home again.

So I did the right thing.

I had to.

Even though it hurts,

I will heal.

Even though my heart bleeds,

my wound will scar over

and it will only be a distant memory.

But then,

my curse isn’t over.

It never will be.

I am doomed to this end.

Zeus,

cursehimcursehim

He thinks that this is amusing.

To see my pain.

Every now and then,

he sends me

someone who can’t stay

someone who can’t and won’t love me

someone who will never free me.

Someone who I can’t help but fall in love with.

I love them with my whole heart

and it’s my whole heart that shatters when they leave.

And I curse myself ten times over,

every time that it happens.

Because I know I shouldn’t.

But I know I am going to.

And I hate myself for it.

This island is a prison

and I am the only inmate.

Yet again,

here comes another hero

another man

another love that won’t love me back.

It hurts,

but I help them.

I try to get them to stay,

but they never do.

They never stay.

They always leave.

They don’t care about the effect it has on me.

Unsurprisingly,

this one is exactly like the others.

Sometimes harsh,

always beautiful,

and

consistently unaware

of the emotions I feel for them.

So,

I nurse them back to health

I help them craft

their raft

so they can find their home again.

Their home which is not me and Ogygia.

The waves crash about peacefully on the shore.

I lay,

staring up at the sky,

thinking only on what could’ve been

instead of what is.

The clouds move lazily in the endless azure hue,

the sun shines on the endless aqua

the birds caw in an endless tune

and I lay there, endlessly blue.

I cannot change fate.

The Fates and Zeus have condemned me.

It is inescapable.

Closing my eyes,

I remember those striking eyes

that suntanned skin

that muscular and broad build

and those dark locks.

I wonder what it would be like,

if he had stayed.

“Odysseus…”

I whisper the name.

The one who

simultaneously

woke me up and shut me down.

“Odysseus…”

The name gives me chills down my spine.

The name makes me

angry

and sad

and happy

and gradually,

I sit up, teary.

“Odysseus, why?”

I am overcome with grief,

mourning something that never was,

that never will be,

that never even graced his mind.

I blame Athena.

I blame Hermes.

And once again,

I blame Zeus.

Athena convinced Zeus to let him go.

Hermes is guiding him home,

telling him the path,

even though it’s dangerous and

he should just stay here,

in Ogygia.

With me.

“Damn you, Odysseus. And damn me too.”

I’ve lingered on him too long.

I need to stop.

Maybe,

I should try and forget him.

He was married,

it seemed.

And I couldn’t top that.

Yet another has graced my island.

And yet another has left me.

And that’s fine.

It hurts,

but I can’t help that.

I loved you,

I loved you,

I loved you,

But you could love me.

And that is fine.

“I loved you, Odysseus, but you didn’t love me.

And that is fine.

And I’m okay, I’m doing well,”

I whisper to the stars.

I see all the constellations and smile.

“I see you.

You’re home.

But I’m still here.

And that’s fine.

I loved you

You couldn’t love me

But I am happy I met you.”