The Night I Met Him

I used to believe that love was simple. A facade people portrayed to mask their undying loneliness. That people used love to avoid being alone. I used to think that the way literature captured love was just a ruse to push people into the perpetual cycle of believing that loving yourself was not enough. The way the main character found herself when she fell in love. I used to think that love was fake because I had never been shown, taught, or ever felt true love. Until the night I met you.

It was the first night of summer, the humid night air was warm with a slight breeze. The moon was full and the stars lit up the night sky causing a reflection of the town's fair to create astigmatism throughout the sky. It was beautiful. My friends and I met up by the Ferris wheel because that was normally the first ride we went on. We kept to our routine, first the Ferris wheel then the spaceship ride, then just when we felt sick enough from our bodies being forcefully spun through a metal container we hid behind the bushes and took shots from the flask we had snuck in. This helped with nausea. Then we would head down to a concession stand that sold our favorite funnel cakes. While standing in line waiting for our food to come out of the window, I felt an aggressive shove that knocked me to the ground, covering me in whatever beverage the person who had fallen into me had.

“What is your problem” I shouted angrily.

“I am so sorry, I got pushed. Are you okay?” replied a soft, deeply-spoken man. He stuck his hand out to help pull me off of the ground. I grabbed his hand and stood up with force immediately locking our eyes on one another. I had never experienced a feeling like this before. It hit me like that unforeseen shove that knocked me off my feet. 

“Im Andreas.”

“Allea.” our eyes still yet to be departed.

“You're beautiful, even covered in soda” he chuckled. His laughter created a harmony inside of me matching the tune of the fluttering taken place inside my stomach. They say that if you like a man's laughter before you like anything else about him then that laughter will act as a magnetic field pulling you in with every breath he takes. “Will you go somewhere with me?”

“Why?” I replied, not being able to untangle my hand from his. 

“Because I feel like if you don't, you will regret that decision. Who knows when or if we will ever meet again.” I gave in. I left with an unknown man to an unknown destination. Maybe it’s unsafe but I had to chase this feeling inside of me. 

With our hands intertwined we ran out of the line and headed straight past the fair and just kept running. The moonlight acted as a spotlight cast over the two of us as if god was saying, run! 

“Where are we going?” I asked noticing we were approaching a tall metal fence.

“Here, common” he vaguely responded, holding his hands down at his knee and gesturing for me to step into his hand to climb the fence. 

“Are we breaking and entering?” 

“Kind of.” He chuckled. I have never done anything like that before, to say I was scared would be an understatement. I tried to relax and follow his lead. We jumped the fence and ran. It looked like we were in the back of a warehouse, I had no idea what to expect. He picked up a rock and somehow knew a key would be in there. He opened the door and turned on the lights.

“Is this an animal shelter?”

“Yeah, my pops owns it.”

“So we aren't going to catch a felony?” I laughed.

“God no!” he replied.

“That sucks, I was kind of looking forward to being handcuffed in a cop car with you,” I said jokingly.

“That wouldn't be the best story to tell our kids about how we first met,” he said.

“Our kids!” I said awkwardly. He opened a cage that had several golden retriever puppies in it. We walked in, closed the gate, and started playing with the dogs.

“So you don't want kids?” he asked.

“Not until I graduate college at least.”

“What do you want to go to college for?”

“I want to be a doctor.”

“That's a hard career path and very long.”

“Yeah, but it will be worth it to save lives. What about you?”

“Oh, I don't want to go to college.”

“How come?”

“I want to travel the world, and live abroad for a few months.”

“I wish, that would be amazing.”

“Why don’t you do it?”

“I have too many things to worry about, between college applications, building my college resume, school, everything.”

“You sound like you don't get out much.”

“Ha,” I chuckled sarcastically, “I don't.”

“Don't you want to live?”

“Yeah, who wants to die.”

“No, I mean like LIVE”

“What does that mean”

“It means to not solely exist. To embark on wild adventures and find your sole, complete your bucket list. To live life is not to live comfortably it is to live uncomfortable to not know what tomorrow will bring, to not know what challenges you will face, and to make memories.”

“Well when you put it that way, yeah I do. I just have never really thought about it like that.”

“What is on your bucket list?” he asked.

“I don't know, I guess to have fun.”

“Then that's what we will do right now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Common,” he said holding his hand out for me to grab. I took his hand and stood up, he kissed my hand and we ran off again. The next few hours were an adventure, we started by holding the exotic pets from different countries that his dad had at the shelter. He said this would show me what the animals are like in other countries so that I can imagine that I met them there. Then we broke into a neighborhood pool and stole their floaties and had a pool noodle fight until one of us fell off. We danced in random sprinklers in some random person's front yard. It all went by so fast almost like a blink of an eye. But each little thing we did together, made me laugh like I have never laughed before, it caused an uncontrollable smile that I could not seem to stop. We headed back to the fair where we rode every ride and took pictures at the top of each, creating a bucket list photo album that only contained photos of him and me and this night.

“There you are Allea, where have you been?” Emily shouted running up to Andreas and me, “Is this the guy who fell on top of you?”

“Yeah,” I said looking down at our hands intertwined in one another's.

“That happened fast, what are you guys dating now?”

“No-” I said rudely interrupted by Andreas's answer “Yes”

“WOW,” Emily said shockingly, I was shocked too. “Well, I will leave you guys to whatever you’ve been up to. Have fun,” she said awkwardly.

“So, what's next on your plan..” I asked.

“I can't tell you, it would ruin the surprise.”

“Okay,” I said surrendering myself to his childlike foolishness. We walked down the street approaching a house not far from the fair. I could tell this house was our next destination because of the LED lights shining through the windows and the loud music. “Is this a party?” I asked.

“Only the biggest rager the world has ever seen.” He chuckled, doing an odd knock on the door one that sounded like a secret knock to get into the party.

“Password.” an unknown voice answered through the mail slot on the door. Andreas turned to me and whispered “Cover your ears,” he bent down to the small crack in the door and said the password. The door opened and immediately I saw people dancing on table tops, a beer bong that stretched from the 3rd story of the house to the 1st floor with people chanting CHUG, CHUG, CHUG. There was a poker table with smoke circling the players. People dance to the point they are dripping sweat in the living room. 

“Let's take a shot,” Andreas said taking me over to the kitchen area. “What would it be for you madam? We got vodka, tequila, rum, whiskey.”

“I will take whatever you are going to.” 

“Okay, but you're going to hate it.” He handed me a discolored alcohol mixture in a shot glass. “It helps if you plug your nose.” He smiled, I followed his lead and we took our shots.

“Oh wow, that was awful what is in there?” I said nearly on the verge of vomiting.

“It's my special mixture, I call it the AIP, Andreass Intoxicated potion. It's a little of everything and every type of liquor.”

“I will never drink with you again,” I said laughing, while whipping my tears from the dry heaving away. 

“You loved it.”

“No, I didn't.” We both started laughing and walked over to the dance circle. 

“Now we can dance with real music.” he smiled, pulling me in closer to him. His chest had a smell of floral essence. His heartbeat matched the beat of mine as I laid my head on his shoulder and we slowly danced to trap music. Suddenly the AIP mixture had taken its course and I was feeling intoxicated. The time there began to blur together into one jumbled brain fog. When reality crept it's way back to me, Andreas and I were both standing on top of the poker table singing a karaoke duet. Everyone cheered us on as we stumbled across the table, kicking the poker chips away. When we finished our song, I reached down and grabbed a handful of cards and threw them over Andreas and me as some sort of finally. Andreas dipped me and the cards covered our bodies like a confetti canyon had just gone off. Andreas hopped off of the table, grabbing me by my hips and gently placing me back on the ground, which is exactly where I didn't want to be. Up on that table, I felt no responsibilities, like I didn't need to be grounded I just needed to be there with him singing a dumb song while staring into each other's eyes and getting lost in them.

“Are you ready for our final destination?”

“Where too now?” I smiled.

“Have you not learned anything Allea? I can't tell you,” we finished his sentence together “or it would ruin the surprise” We laughed and left the party. We walked back past the fair and into an unknown park. This park was lit up like fireflies dancing around the sky.

“What is this?” I asked.

“It's a lantern lighting.”

“It’s amazing. But why take me here?”

“Well, what better way to get to know the woman I nearly smushed to death than releasing our negative thoughts, our toxic traits, and our darkest secrets together.” He smiled, his smile glistened in the nighttime glow. We got handed our lanterns and a Sharpie, then we walked to the only space in the parking lot.

“Im going to write mine, you write yours and before we release it we will turn it around and read each other's,” he spoke seriously, placing the pen cap in between his teeth. I sat there for a moment, hesitating to write mine. Not because I didn't know what to say but because I didn't know what he would think of what I had to say. But he was right. What better way to get to know someone than telling him my darkest secrets. I began writing: it is with this lantern that I release myself, I release my inability to open up to people, my circumspect with life, my fear of not being enough, and my self-loathing. With this lantern, I symbolize it with the phoenix, by releasing it I am killing this version of myself and allowing a new one to resurface. I vow to rise from the ashes and be the best version of myself. 

“Are you ready for me to know everything about you in 5 minutes?” he asked, laughing softly with a suspicious grin.

“Are you ready?” I smiled. We turned the lantern to where we were facing the other's writing, I read: I release my self-doubt, my overly high self-expectations, my misogyny, my ego. It is because of her eyes that I can somehow see who I am supposed to be. It is because of you and these past hours of running away with you that I allow myself to feel these emotions and feelings that I have always turned away from. There's something about the way the light protrudes onto every strand of your blonde hair, and every shade and array of color in your eyes that I cannot seem to release, and I won't. It is at this moment that I am unconsciously and unknowingly eager to know everything about you. The lantern then self-lit, beginning to rise from our hands separating the wall that was in between us. 

“God, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen,” he said smiling tucking my hair behind my ear. Once again our eyes meet, and we do not blink. We just drown further and further into this unrevealed chemistry. “I know it's crazy, but I never want to look away.” he said softly, “Can I kiss you?”

“Absolutely.” I smiled. As soon as our lips touched, I knew I was wrong about love. It wasn't a mask, it wasn't something you can hide. It consumes you, it kicks you off your feet, and never puts you down. Suddenly the world around us was dark, all of the lanterns had floated into the sky away from our view. 

“Is that it for your fun plan?” I asked smiling.

“Not quite.”

“Can you tell me this one?”

“No, but you can check your email.”

“What?” I said laughing, I opened my email, and to my complete and utter surprise was a plane ticket to Europe. “Andreas, what is this?” I asked.

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” He asked, walking me away from the park back to the fair.

“Umm,” I said, he cut me off. “I didn’t either until tonight. I have never been so sure of anything before in my life, but I am in love with you. And I know what you're going to say, Andreas, we just met, Andreas's love is fake. But it doesn't matter. What matters is that I want to live an extraordinary life, and until tonight I was fine doing that alone. Now, I want you to live an extraordinary life with me. You deserve to, and I just spent that last 12 hours watching a girl who didn't know what living meant, live with all she had. I want to watch that again, and again, and again until you get so sick of living because you've done everything there is to do. you've seen a million sunsets and sunrises, you've jumped off of a plane at every altitude, and you have released every bad thing about yourself on a stupid lantern that there is nothing else to release. I want to watch you rise.” Before I could say anything, like a flash of light, a car sped down the road that we were crossing and hit him. Within the sound of the car being totaled by his body, I swear like the sound of glass, I could hear my heart shatter. I ran over as fast as I could to see if he was okay. He wasn't. I held him in my arms watching him bleed out, screaming for help from anybody and everybody. I didn't want to look down, I didn't want to see someone who 5 seconds ago was talking about how much he wanted to live and see that getting ripped out of his reach. A man who was just 5 seconds ago confessing that he loved me as I have never heard be written or spoken before. But I looked down. I held his hand. And I whispered I love you too. 

I watched as the ambulance took him away blaring their sirens and I knew he wasn't going to make it. I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. How can someone I have known for 12 hours make me feel so happy and complete and loved and then just be taken away? I used to believe that love was a facade that people used to mask their loneliness, that was until I was shown, taught, and felt true love. I was right about one thing though, that it wasn't enough. I wanted more, I wanted more of him, more love. I didn’t know that the day I met him I would have fallen so intoxicatingly in love with him, and I didn't know that the night I meant him would be the last night I got to love him.