Truly Alive

Panic surrounded Brielle as she flew down her apartment stairs and burst from the door at the bottom. She was so late for work. If only she hadn’t stayed up most of the night binge-watching her favorite detective show, she might have woken up earlier. She had promised herself she would never do that again, but it was always ‘one more episode.’ She would be lucky to keep her intern job at this rate.

           The parking lot was crowded with old-beat-up cars of every size. Brielle was looking for a faded red car, the oldest thing in her life, but arguably, the most reliable. Clicking the button in her hand, Brielle beeped her car a few more times and found it crammed in between two souped-up, mud-encrusted jeeps.

           Great. Brielle sighed, her heart still pounding in her chest. A phantom of her boss’ screeching yell rang in her head. She’d been chewed out before, but this would be one for the books.

           Out on the main street, Brielle heard the heavy groaning of the city bus stopping for passengers. Her breath caught in her throat and, readjusting her bag on her shoulder, she bolted for the street.

           The bus stop was about a block down from her apartment building. She was too far away. The bus driver would be long gone before she could get anywhere close. She broke into a sprint, her bag banging against her back.

           “Wait,” she yelled, waving her arms wildly in the air as the bus started to pull away from the curb. She pumped her legs faster, feeling the burn in her muscles and lungs. It had been forever since she’d exercised, and it was showing. Her body screamed for her to stop and calm down but her anxiety was louder, urging her faster and faster after the departing bus.

           “Watch it!”

           The warning came too late.

           Before Brielle knew what was going on, she felt something slam into her right side and send her careening into the road. She would have landed on the tarmac if it wasn’t for the speeding car she hit the side of instead. With a dramatic flourish, that wasn’t at all intended, Brielle fell to the curb in a heap.

           She blinked her eyes, trying to clear the blurriness from her vision. There was an incessant ringing in her ears, which was arguably better than her brain replaying her boss’s screams. But it also meant she couldn’t hear what the people suddenly crowded around her were saying. Their faces were all twisted in concern and their lips were moving rapidly. One woman had her phone pressed to her ear and was looking around her while speaking into it.

           A man in a bicycle helmet was kneeling in front of Brielle. His gloved hands were holding hers. He seemed to be saying something over and over again, his lips moving slowly. Brielle squinted her eyes and tried to focus on him.

           Breathe, was what she could make out. She sucked in a breath.

           The man nodded approvingly and motioned for her to do it again. Brielle breathed deeply a few more times, the ringing in her ears gradually clearing. It was replaced by a sudden and intense burning that brought bile up her throat. She leaned over her side and emptied her stomach’s contents onto the sidewalk. There wasn’t much, just the protein bar she’d shoved into her mouth on her way out the door.

           Then Brielle could hear and see clearer than she ever had before. She could hear the whisper of clothing all around her as the crowd milled around. The voice of the woman on the phone was loud yet warm. She exuded calm which, in turn, comforted Brielle. She could also hear the voice of the 911 operator on the other side of the phone; she sounded bored.

           Brielle returned her attention to the man squatting in front of her. Time seemed to stop as she took in his appearance. He had a strong structure to his face; his cheekbones and jawline were prominent. Brielle traced the elegant lines with her eyes. His face shape seemed almost noble in that it drew attention to itself. He turned, then, to speak to the woman on the phone and Brielle noticed his aquiline nose which added to his profile. He looked and moved like a Greek god. His eyes were the deepest pools of golden brown she had ever seen. They looked like caramel candies, shiny and melted in the sunlight.

           A bright light exploded from the sky to the east. The sun had risen above one of the buildings on the horizon and shone its golden rays over the whole scene. Brielle had seen the sunrise before, but never like this. Golden-soaked rays beamed down on the crowded sidewalk between the buildings, coating the concrete in its warm glow. Colors bloomed around her such that she felt like she was emerging from a black and white world. The thin, scraggly fingers of hibernating trees poked up into the sky, their rough bark a deep brown against the pale blue.

           A crisp breeze wound its way around Brielle, weaving through her clothing. She shuddered, realizing she’d forgotten her coat inside, but the cold was almost welcome. It was a confirmation that she was alive. Birds sang trilly somewhere above her head and the smell of hot sausage and eggs floated on the breeze. Brielle took a deep breath in and turned her face to the sun. Closing her eyes she let the warmth sink deep into her skin while the chill air lifted her hair away from her face. The juxtaposition of warmth and cold seemed poignant to Brielle like she was experiencing all of life in this one moment.

           She smiled.

           “Are you all right, miss?”

           The sounds of the crowd around her filtered back into Brielle’s ears. She opened her eyes and smiled at the man squatting before her.

           “I’ve never felt better.”

           The man looked at her with concern and gently checked her eyes again. Brielle was sure she had a concussion, but if that was what it took for her to see the world like this it was worth it. She found that she no longer cared if her boss yelled at her for being late. In fact, she felt that she would quit the job. The bookstore around the corner was hiring and she’d hated the internship the moment she got it anyway.

           Basking in the strange feeling of liberation, Brielle allowed the man to help her to her feet. She closed her eyes again, focusing on the beam of light she was standing in. How could she have gone so long without noticing this?

           Opening her eyes again, Brielle moved through the crowd like it was water. She heard the shrieking sounds of sirens behind her, but she kept walking. After a few yards, she noticed the man on the bicycle was walking along beside her. He was holding onto the bike with one hand while the other was ready to catch her if she needed it.

           The man’s brow was furrowed, “Are you sure you’re all right?”

           Brielle grinned and took his arm, “Yes, I feel as though I’ve never truly lived until this point.”

           He seemed like he wanted to say more, but then he sighed.

           Brielle lifted her nose to the air and breathed in the smell of sausage and bacon. She was determined to find where the smell was coming from. Then she would apply at the bookstore. After that? She didn’t know, but she supposed that was part of the fun of being truly alive.