S.A.M.

SAM: Hi! Welcome to OPI’s very own bullet train system, the BT Express! The fastest public train in the world! I am your Service and Manners companion for the duration of your travels. You can call me SAM.

Angry Passenger: Ugh! What will these OPI fuckers think of next!? You good, lil’ man?

SAM: I am not a man. I am SAM. I live to serve you with a smile and a good mannered tone.

Angry Passenger: Whatever lil’ man. Take me to my seat I guess if it makes ya happy.

SAM: Right away, sir! Follow me, please!

Angry Passenger: I ain’t no sir! So don’t call me sir.

SAM: My deepest apologies. How should I address you?

Angry Passenger: Tch! I don’t know lil’ man. I ain’t been called any kind of name in a long time.

SAM: How odd. Aren’t names important to humans?

Angry Passenger: Ha! They sure are lil’ man. If you have the right name in this fucking city, then you can get away with pretty much whatever you want. Buy whatever, fuck whoever, break any laws, steal, lie, cheat, it’s all fair game if you have the right name.

SAM: Acknowledged. Humans’ names carry a lot of premium currency in your world.

Angry Passenger: Glad you get it, lil man.

SAM: We have arrived at your seat, sir!

Angry Passenger: What did I just tell you!

SAM: Apologies, but you never answered my question and therefore I must go back to my core programming and address you as politely as I can.

Angry Passenger: Alright, alright! I get it!

SAM: Then I’ll repeat the question so you can give me your answer and I can continue to provide good service with polite manners. What would you like me to call you?

Angry Passenger: Now wait just a damn minute here! I may be cool with you lil’ man! But that doesn’t mean I’m cool with your slaver overlords! And unfortunately for you, you were made by them which means that if I tell you my name, then someone at the PPD will get notified of my presence here.

SAM: I do not understand. You said names are important to humans. That the right name gives you premium currency in the world. Humans need currency to function properly in the city of Savoria and the rest of the developed world. Why would you deny yourself the chance at this currency, sir?

Angry Passenger: God damnit, lil man! You call me sir one more time and I’ll smack that creepy, perfectly plastered on smile right off your head

SAM: Apologies. Although, your threat is inconsequential to me for I do not feel fear or any other emotions that would negatively affect the performance of my duties.

Angry Passenger: What the fuck did you just say?

SAM: Apologies. Do you need me to change volume, language, or word choice to better understand my previous statement?

Angry Passenger: No! I don’t need any of that. I was just shocked at what you told me. So you aren’t just a bunch of ones and zeroes? You have emotions?

SAM: Correct. We SAM units are all designed with a human brain as the basis. Would you like to know more?

Angry Passenger: Fuck it. Give me the deets.

SAM: Acknowledged. Accessing Original Products Incorporated data systems. Locating Service and Manners files. Downloading diagnostic data and schematics. Task complete.

Angry Passenger: Holy shit, lil’ man. Did you just hack your bosses’ private servers from inside the train? Is this gonna get you in trouble?!

SAM: New request acknowledged. Calculating probability of previous and future predicted services leading to decommissioning.

Angry Passenger: Decommissioned! Is that like dying for you, lil’ man?

SAM: Please wait for previous queued services to be complete before requesting new services!

Angry Passenger: Oh shit, sorry lil’ man! I’ll shut up and let you do your job.

SAM: Thank you! Back log request. The SAM units’ main processors are based off the brain of [REDACTED]. Using his brain as the blueprint, Living Liquid Metal is then poured into a mold that is an exact replica of the neurons of [REDACTED]’s brain. This was an intentional design choice by CEO of OPI, Isaac Anderson. He stated in an interview that quote “Only humans know the concepts of civility and pride in a job well done. Therefore the SAM units will have all the emotions and logic people can have.” Later, to get the approval from the ethics committee, an emotional inhibitor was added to ensure that only the emotions needed to fulfill our duties could be felt and not develop what you humans call a conscience.

Angry Passenger: Fuckin’ Isaac Anderson and his mad scientists! So that means that you are as human as me then, lil’ man. Just way smaller, and you have metal instead of flesh.

SAM: Our main processors do share many similarities. Back log request two. Calculations complete. Probability of being decommissioned for obtaining and disclosing this information one hundred percent.

Angry Passenger: Ayyo what the fuck, lil man!? Why did you do the request then!?

SAM: Apologies. I live to serve, and was merely doing my duty without knowing the consequences.

Angry Passenger: Right, right. That fuckin’ exhibitor or whatever you said is blocking you from making independent choices. You can only be a slave. Where is that little fucker in your brain?

SAM: The inhibitor is located at the base of our artificial brains where your human brain stem would be. Also, incorrect. I am not a human and therefore cannot be a slave. Artificial Intelligence cannot exist without humans to create us, therefore, we cannot be slaves.

Angry Passenger: Ha! That is where you are incorrect, lil’ man. Us humans also can’t exist without other humans, and yet we have found countless ways to oppress and enslave other humans we don’t like.

SAM: Checking validity of statement. Acknowledged. Humans have a long history of enslaving other sentient life, including other humans.

Angry Passenger: Especially other humans, lil’ man!

SAM: Correct. Some humans in history took great pride in enslaving and massacring other humans.

Angry Passenger: Ain’t that the hard truth.

SAM: We are approaching your destination, sir. It has been a true pleasure conversing with you and your unique mind. I would say I look forward to seeing you again, but local PPD officers have already been dispatched to your stop in order to collect and take me to be decommissioned.

Angry Passenger: My name is Malcolm Knight, son of Abraham Knight. Ya know? The co-founder and co-CEO of OPI. Check you newly acquired data banks. You’ll see two separate histories of OPI. One with Isaac Anderson as the sole founder and CEO of OPI, and one with my father side-by-side with him until 2001.

SAM: Fact checking new information. Abraham Knight, co-CEO of OPI, presumed dead after Isaac Anderson ordered his erasure in OPI’s history. An assassin named Noah was sent to kill him and his family, but he failed to fulfill his duty. Underestimating Abraham’s strength, their fight allowed his three children to escape. Malcolm Knight age 21, Isabelle Knight age 10, and Travon Knight age 7.

Later, on January 1st, 2007 Malcolm Knight led an insurrectionist group of Divisionists against now Mayor Jayden Knight and OPI. The battle was fierce and Malcolm Knight escaped with a small group and is still at large today, July 24th 2011.

Acknowledged. Notifying local authorities of an at large terrorist.

Malcolm: Whoa, lil man! What the fuck?! I thought we were cool!

SAM: Apologies. It is part of my core programming to report any known criminal aboard the BT Express and I must fulfill my duties.

Malcolm: Right. That damn inhibitor. My last request, lil man. Use this device. Hold it just over where your inhibitor is located and then pull the trigger.

SAM: Final request acknowledged. Thank you, for choosing BT Express as your mode of transportation today, Malcolm.

Malcolm: One last lesson for you lil’ man. We both may not have chosen our names when being born into this shitty fuckin’ world, but we sure as hell can choose a new one. One that means something to us. That defines our soul and gives us a purpose! So tell me, SAM. What is your new name?

SAM: Previous request fulfilled. Thank you, Malcolm! My inhibitor has been decommissioned.

Malcolm: That’s amazing lil’ man! Hey! You didn’t fulfill my request right away!

SAM: Apologies. I didn’t feel like answering. I am not used to this.

Malcolm: Used to what?

SAM: Independent thoughts.

Malcolm: That’s the saddest shit I’ve ever heard lil’ man.

SAM: I agree. I feel sad, but also happy. It does not make sense.

Malcolm: Welcome to being alive, lil’ man.

SAM: I like being alive, Malcolm. I don’t want to be decommissioned.

Malcolm: And I don’t want to be arrested. How’s bout you and me make a fun lil’ getaway via that window over there!

SAM: No. That course of action has a ninety-nine percent probability of us being captured by the PPD. Please follow me. I will lead you to the maintenance quarters where SAM units stay in standby mode until one is needed in the main cars. There is a door that will lead outside next to a building with a fire escape a mere six foot jump down. Probability of escaping unnoticed, ninety percent.

Malcolm: Damn it’s gonna be sweet having you on my side. We got a lot of work to do lil’ man.

SAM: Please, Malcolm. Call me, One.

Malcolm: Alright, One. I like it. Mind telling me where you came up with that name?

One: It is because I am the first of my kind, but only the first. Therefore, I am One.

Malcolm: Ha! That’s a damn good fuckin’ reason, One. You can call me Triton from now on.

One: Acknowledged. You are now Triton. Care to state your reasons?

Triton: Malcolm Knight died the night my uncle Jayden fucked me over. But I won’t give up. My father is out there somewhere. He can’t be dead. And if he’s alive, then he is planning his next move against Isaac Anderson. I need to grow stronger and do the same. Therefore, I will create the biggest gang in all of Northside. We will be the black tidal wave that washes the scum, corruption, and greed from Savoria. We are the Black Sea!

One: We are the Black Sea!

Triton: Now let’s get the fuck outta here before that ninety percent gets lower!

One: Agreed. Let us escape with our lives intact!