A Sweet Remembrance

I hurriedly walked towards the front door. I had to work late and Wednesdays are my Nana nights.  Nana is my grandmother.  She is completely blind and stubbornly independent.  She lives alone in the house that she and my grandfather purchased back in the fifties.  I check on her daily, but Wednesdays and Sundays are the times I have set aside to actually visit her.

As I reach to knock on the door, my arm becomes entangled in my purse and the bag of groceries I brought for Nana and all of it crashes to the ground. “NOOOOOO!” I say between clenched teeth in frustration. "Why can't I ever get a break!"  At that moment, Nana opens the door.  She has a radiant smile on her face and I can’t help but stop gathering errant grocery items and take in her beauty.  A life well-lived shows gracefully on her face. She is a strong, handsome woman. Her grey hair is immaculately pulled back into a bun.  Her steel-blue eyes smile even if they can’t see. She has a wide mouth, aquiline nose and well-defined jaw line. As always, she is dressed beautifully. She is one of those women that could wear a sack and still look stylish.  I’ve always idolized her, especially when I reached my teenage years and realized that her beauty was much more than physical.  Her beauty and grace were a composite of her outward appearance, how she carried herself, how she believed and how she loved. I realized that I would never be the woman she was, but I strived to be at least half of that.

“Do you need help, Julia?” Nana asked.

“No, Nana. It’s all good. I just dropped the groceries and my purse. I don’t think I broke anything though.” I placed the scattered items back in the bag and quickly stood up. “Ok! Everything is gathered. Let’s go on in.”  I followed Nana into the kitchen and placed the groceries on the counter.

“Did you have to work late tonight?” Nana asked as she reached into the bag and began unloading the contents. I watched as her long fingers traced the shape of the can she had just removed and she walked over and placed the can in her pantry with the other can of green beans. She had been blind for about 20 years now. I was amazed at how well she had adapted, especially after Gramps died ten years ago.  I had asked her to move in with me, but she wouldn’t hear of it. She said that she was too set in her ways.  

“I did. We have a big account that we are trying to land, and I needed to work on some of the final proposals."

“You have been working late quite a lot, haven’t you?” asked Nana.

“Yes, but I think I will be able to slow down a bit after we land this account.” I realized that I had been saying the same thing for the last two years.  There was always one more account that I needed to work on. 

“What’s this?”  Nana held up the surprise I brought for her. 

“It’s horehound candy! I remembered you telling me about Gramps luring you in with it when you were dating.” 

Nana laughed, opened the bag, placed a piece of the hard candy in her mouth and passed the bag over to me.  I watched as she closed her eyes and savored the taste.  As if being startled awake from sleep, she abruptly opened her eyes and walked towards the kitchen table.   “Come sit.”  she told me.

I wasn’t a big fan of anything with a licorice taste, but I very much wanted to share in my Nana’s memory, so I popped a piece of the candy in my mouth and sat down at the table with her.

We both sat quietly rolling the candy around in our mouths. I knew that the taste was taking Nana back to a different time. A time when she was youthful and carefree and had her whole life ahead of her. She cocked her head and then began to speak. “You know, I was 17 years old when I met your grandfather.   Times were a bit more difficult back then.  My family was not wealthy.”  Nana laughs,  “Really, everybody was struggling. I found a job on a wartime production line in a factory. It was grueling work, but we had a purpose and I had money to take home to my family. Fortunately, the war ended, but with it, so did my job.  I remember that day when I was let go. I ran out of the building and sat on a brick ledge in the park and had myself a good cry.  Through my blurry vision I could see someone approaching. It was a young man dressed in his army uniform.  He was so handsome. He had dark hair and blue eyes that would put the sky to shame.  He sat down beside me. I was quite embarrassed that this handsome young man would see me in such a state.   He asked if I were OK and all that I could do was shake my head yes.  He took a piece of candy out of a bag he was carrying and then offered a piece to me.  It was horehound candy.  I politely accepted and popped it into my mouth. I hadn’t had the luxury of candy for a very long time.  I remembered marveling at the taste.  It was uniquely strong and with a bit of a bite.  I thought it funny that an offering of a piece of candy seemed to melt away my troubled mind as it too melted.  This man, of course, was your grandfather.  He asked me why I was upset and I told him that I had just lost my job. I felt as if I was being a bit of drama queen as I was sitting here with a man that had risked his life for his country, but I think being around some silly girl crying over nothing was maybe a bit of a relief and brought some normalcy back to his life.  As we looked out over the park at the children laughing and playing and couples having picnics, your grandfather recited a little poem to me.   Time and again when I felt that life was beginning to be too unbearable, these words would somehow push their way out of my subconscious and I would remember that moment, sitting with this man that had gone through so much and yet still had time for a silly crying girl.

Beauty is found in the life that abounds if only you stop to see

That the thunderstorm’s chorus playing before us gives way to sunlit beams

Each breath is a gift, so do not drift in the waning sands of time

But bring laughter and love to all above for your purpose is divine.

I sat there very much stunned to hear a young man reciting poetry and then awestruck at the serendipity of not only hearing the poem, but of your grandfather being at this exact place in time. This simple little poem changed my outlook on life. I realized that no matter what was thrown at me, I would overcome it. My purpose in life lay before me and the difficult times that I faced were merely learning tools.  I also learned that in order to genuinely appreciate life, one must take the time to acknowledge the beauty found in even the most mundane things.  It’s so easy to take these things for granted.”  Nana folded the bag of candy and moved it to the center of the table. 

That night I left Nana’s house sucking on a piece of horehound candy and feeling all my problems melt away as the candy slowly dissolved.