THE UNFORTUNATE SERENDIPITY AT KING KAMEHAMEHA

THE UNFORTUNATE SERENDIPITY AT KING KAMEHAMEHA

The sun was hot, and the air was dry. Loralyn had been praying for a rainstorm, dreading this day. She wanted to smoke outdoors without starting a wildfire. Something to cool down her sweaty body and flush out the noise parade in her head. Maybe even an excuse to duck out early.

The same old conversation bits kept floating by:

“Oh, my gosh, it’s been forever!”

“So, what do you do for work?”

“Are you married?”

“Do you have kids?”

Loralyn loathed weddings. Couldn’t pinpoint why. Maybe it was the drain of time and money. Maybe it was the intense emotions everywhere. Maybe it was the dread of doing the YMCA. Maybe it was her party clothes that were so binding. Who knew.

Fortunately, on this day, her sour mood improved a bit when she drove through an ornate black gate, and first laid eyes on the venue. It was no longer just an address on an invitation -- it was a fairy tale come to life. 

One that seemed achingly familiar.  

The Villa Del Sol D’oro loomed before her: a yellow, Italian-style mansion set against the green and blue San Gabriel mountains. Tall palms reached for the sky, their leaves dangling and winking in the sunlight, like tinsel at Christmas. Enormous evergreen trees provided shade. The strong scent of pine needles wafted through the mountain valley air. Feathery columns of cypress trees and a reflecting pond framed the property.

“Damn,” was all she could say. Not a bad place to spend an afternoon and evening, after all.  

The ceremony passed by in a blur of happy tears, colorful flowers, and string quartet music. Afterwards at the reception, Loralyn gathered her skirt in one hand and carried her second gin and tonic in another. Carefully, she stepped down a curved staircase in her heels, and crossed a white-and-black checkered floor. Finally, she made it outside to one of the villa’s many balconies.

The day’s oppressive heat was replaced by the twilight’s refreshing breeze. Strings of long lights hung from trees and twinkled golden magic everywhere. She tapped out a cigarette from her purse and flicked her lighter underneath it.

“Did you know that Guns-n-Roses filmed their ‘November Rain’ music video at this place?”

Loralyn turned to the voice speaking beside her, intrigued. Finally, someone at a wedding with a different conversation starter!

His hair was messed up a little, his tie was loosened, his shirt a bit unbuttoned. 

He smoked as well and took a swig of beer.

Loralyn’s heart bounced around like a basketball.

She snapped her fingers. 

“I THOUGHT this place looked familiar!” she exclaimed.

They smiled at each other.

“Yeah, remember, in the video, how she licked the knife after cutting the cake?”

“OH, and how it started raining at the reception and everyone FREAKS out?”

“And that guy stage-dives into the wedding cake? Because of a little RAIN?”

“You don’t understand – it was special NOVEMBER RAIN!”

They laughed.

They hadn’t even introduced themselves, but they don’t lose eye contact.

“You know, normally, I hate weddings, but this is one of the better ones.”

“Oh? Why don’t you like them?”

She stirred her drink with a delicate straw.

“Not sure…maybe it all started when I was a little girl and this bride SCREAMED at me for no reason.”

This statement piques the man’s interest.

“What? A screaming bride? Tell me.”

Loralyn sighed.

“Oh, well. I was about five, maybe six years old? My family was on vacation at a resort. I was playing in the pool with this cute little boy my age. You know when you’re a child, and you just hit it off with other kids?”

He nodded.

“I do.”

“Anyway, this boy and I, we were having so much fun, hitting this beach ball back and forth. At one point, the ball went sailing, like this – ‘SHOOO!’ over a wall of bushes.”

“What’s that noise? ‘SHOOO’ – can you repeat that?”

“Shut up! Let me tell this story!”

Loralyn giggled and pretended to hit him.

“Well, we went around to retrieve the ball. We’re small, so we could squeeze through things. And we stumbled upon this wedding on the other side of the hedgerow.”

“You don’t say.”

“So we crouched down, giggling in our wet swimsuits past the guests all seated and dressed up in their formal attire, and maneuvered our way up to where the beach ball was. Right by the altar, where the bride and groom were exchanging vows.”

She paused.

“Anyway, this is where it got crazy. We were almost there, and the bride pointed at me, and just started SCREAMING!”

The man stared at her, listening.

“So, naturally, it freaked us out, and we grabbed the ball and ran back to the pool as fast as we could.”

Loralyn shook her head, disgusted.

“I mean, what kind of bridezilla SCREAMS at literal CHILDREN during her wedding? If it were me up there getting married, and some random kids passed through to get their ball, I would just smile and think it was adorable, you know?”

His eyes looked emotional. A bit teary for some odd reason.

“What happened to the boy?”

“Oh, I lost track of him, and he probably got reunited with his family or whatever. But yeah, sometimes I still think of that bride. Wonder how long THAT marriage lasted, poor guy.”

“Is your name, by chance, ‘Loralyn?’”

Loralyn felt spooked. Her name was hard to be mistaken for.

“Why…yes, it IS Loralyn, as a matter of fact. Named after Loralyn Drive, the street I was born on. How did you know?”

She looked around, as though she were visible to all.

“Did the groom tell you who I was?”

“No, nothing like that. Did your family happen to be visiting the King Kamehameha hotel in Hawaii, in oh, approximately the spring of 1999?”

Her eyes widen as the realization dawned on her.

“Yes! Do you mean…?”

“That boy you befriended at the pool was ME. I always remembered this beautiful little girl named Loralyn that I met on vacation, playing with the ball, and of course, the screaming bride! I’ve been telling that story for years!”

“Oh, my god. You’re right. It IS you! It’s YOU!”

“And it’s you!”

“What are the chances?”

As if in a trance, they walked closer to each other. 

They took each other’s hands.

Neither of them could keep a smile off their face.

“It’s fate,” they said at the same time, incredulous.

He started to give her a peck on the cheek, but she moved her lips, and it became a real kiss.

For the rest of the night, they were inseparable. Their bodies moved as one in endless slow dances, delightful conversations, and angelic laughter. Later, they shared one bed. 

From that night on, Loralyn and her man were a unit, never far apart from each other.

It was like a set of derailed tracks lined up perfectly for the first time in her life. A veil had lifted, and Loralyn could see clearly. Her friends, family, and co-workers noticed a complete personality change within her -- from someone who had been mopey, cynical, and heavy, to a captivating lady who was upbeat, optimistic, and light. 

The couple’s great joy was contagious. People wanted to be around this magnetic duo, and they were bombarded with invitations to all sorts of parties, trips, and adventures. They told everyone about how they met and were applauded for their serendipitous destiny. 

Within six months, the two of them had received promotions at work, purchased a home together, and naturally – got engaged to be married. Both quit smoking, ate healthy, and exercised daily. 

Loralyn had never known such ecstatic happiness in her life -- no, not ever. She had not even known true love was real, let alone possible. Most of her previous relationships had been awkward, disappointing, or just plain traumatic. She fully believed the universe had a plan for her all along and had been course-correcting her to a path of lifelong, wedded bliss.

One year later, on the exact date they met at the Villa Del Sol D’oro, they stood before each other at an altar. They held hands and were locked into each other’s eyes, full of harmony. 

This time, they were at the King Kamehameha resort, of course. 

The sun was hot, and the air was dry. Loralyn had been praying for perfect weather, longing for this day, and her dream had finally come true: she was to become his wife.

As the bride, she went first with her vows.

While she spoke, she noticed movement out of the corner of her eye. A slight feeling of nausea crept up inside her, out of nowhere. It seemed to be caused by a moving object.

The groom went next with his vows.

As he spoke, she glanced beyond his shoulder, and noticed what the thing was:

A colorful beach ball. 

It had rolled up to them at the altar.

With a sinking feeling of horror, she then saw herself as a little girl, and her fiancé as a little boy, headed towards the ball, trying not to be noticed.

She lifted her finger and let out an ear-piercing shriek from the bottom of her soul.

And this is the point in the story, ladies and gentlemen, when Loralyn suddenly remembers everything: the curse of King Kamehameha. 

Each time, when she starts screaming, the floodgates from hell open underneath her, and she gets bombarded with the sickening realization of how many times she has gone through this before. Hundreds, if not tens of thousands, of times, and she only has mere seconds to react. 

Milliseconds to figure out what to say or do next. 

How to break the cycle.

“No! Not again! No, no, no!”

Little Loralyn and the boy grabbed the beach ball, and ran away, terrified.

Everyone at the wedding was confused. 

They all looked in the direction she was pointing but saw nothing.

Loralyn took off running after the children only she could see and left her bewildered groom at the altar. She shouted at them as loud as she could:

“Don’t get married next time! Do not talk to each other, ever again! Don’t – “

And when she got to the hedge, in the blink of an eye, poor Loralyn was a little girl. Again. On spring break vacation with her family in 1999. With no understanding of why this mean bride had just yelled at her. With no memory of anything other than her short life of six years old thus far. With no idea she was stuck in a 25-year-old, heartbreaking loop in another tangent universe.

The little boy was panting but laughing.

“Oh wow, Loralyn, that was a close call!”

“It sure was!”

They giggled and gave each other hugs.

His mother called to him just then, reprimanding him for disappearing out of sight.

“I gotta go, I think I’m in trouble.”

“Okay.”

As his mother took him away by the hand, he looked back at her.

They smiled and waved.

“See you later, alligator!”

“After a while, crocodile!

THE END