Faith blew a breath from her mouth. She knew this was going to be a long night. She hadn’t had time to change after work, but she figured if the blouse and pencil skirt combo was lucky enough to help her solve the Jefferson case, It could be lucky enough to assuage her sister's worries about her love life. She quickly touched up her red lipstick and wiped the mascara that had traveled from her lashes to her undereyes. The harsh LED lighting in the women's bathroom did her no favors. She smiled at the mirror. Her reflection smiled back at her with lips that stretched painfully across her teeth. “It’s just one night and then you can go back to your blissfully unromantic life.” She told her reflection. She nodded to herself in the mirror.
The walk back to the dining area felt alarmingly similar to a walk of shame. She noticed the woman’s side profile first. And she was struck, motionless with how beautiful the woman was. Her blind date’s black hair was perfectly curled. Her dress was sinful, hugging her in exactly the right places, yet casual enough to be first-date material. Faith adjusted her blouse as she came to terms with the fact that she was actually attracted to the woman her sister had set her up with. But Faith knew that romance only brought drama and the precinct was filled with enough drama for a couple lifetimes. The woman stood as Faith approached her. Her almond-shaped green eyes traveled over Faith’s disheveled appearance like a cat sizing up a mouse. "You must be Faith." Her blind date held out her hand. Faith reached out and grasped it. The woman’s grip was firm and businesslike. "And you're Sam." Sam’s lips pulled up into a conspiratorial smirk as if Faith were in on some inside joke. "I'm Sam." She spoke. Sam’s hand stayed in Faith’s for a moment too long, her eyes caught in Sam’s. Faith hoped that Sam didn’t notice the shiver that traveled up her spine. Abruptly, Sam pulled away and sat down. Faith brushed off the electric pull she felt pulsing between them and sat down opposite her. "You're not what I was expecting." Sam said, her lips pulled into a frown. Faith fought the urge to scowl at her. She never wanted to be on this date in the first place. But Faith was raised to have manners and so she smiled politely “I’m sure,” She agreed. Sam smiled back, not nearly as polite. “In a good way.” She winked, “surprises aren’t always bad.” Faith’s cheeks warmed; she cleared her throat. “So, what is it that you do for work?” Faith asked, failing to hide the rise in octave in her voice. Sam sat back, folding her legs over each other. She raised her eyebrows aware of her effect on Faith. “My work is boring. What about you Ms. Detective? What’s it like being one of New York City’s heroes?” Sam’s tone was teasing but Faith spent most of her day at the precinct so talking about her job was really the only thing that interested her. “It’s actually a lot of paperwork. Most people think you’re out solving crimes all day but really it’s like 30% crime solving, 70% paperwork.” Sam leaned in. “Really?” her voice had a smooth tone to it that coaxed out the words from Faith’s mouth. “Oh yeah, take the case I just closed. I spent all day making sure the paperwork got filed correctly. Not to mention the press release coming up.” Faith relaxed as she spoke. Dating hadn’t ever come easy for her. But talking about her job had always been second nature. She spent most of her time outside of work thinking about how she could be a better detective. And if she wasn't thinking about detective work, she was doing it. The waiter appeared at their table. “Can I get any drinks started for you?” He asked. “Can we get a bottle of your 1998 Veuve Clicquot La Grande Dame for the table, please?” Sam said. She turned to Faith and winked. “It’s on me.” Faith smiled. “Thanks.” Talking about her job had created a comfort for Faith. And if she were looking for romance, she wouldn’t mind Sam. “So, the case you’re working on, how’s that going?” She asked. “The case I closed you mean?” Faith said, she mentally berated herself for sounding condescending as soon as she said it. “I want to know about an ongoing case.” Sam smiled devilishly. “I can’t talk about ongoing cases.” Faith replied. Sam didn’t falter. “But isn’t talking about things you shouldn’t be, so much more exciting?” The waiter came just at this moment with the bottle of wine. Faith didn’t want to tell a stranger about an ongoing case but she didn’t want to stop whatever it was that she felt blooming between her and Sam, so she let the waiter be the proverbial bell that saved her. Then the bell was gone. “Has anyone ever told you, you have gorgeous eyes?” Faith said, partly to change the subject but mostly because Faith thought Sam’s eyes were the most beautiful shade of green she had ever seen. Sam’s face fell for a moment. And Faith realized she had stumped her. “Thanks,” She said, her voice came out softer, without the layer of flirtation that had previously been so obvert. “Strange, that’s exactly what I thought when I saw you.” Sam said it with such brutal conviction that if Faith hadn’t heard the words, she’d have thought it was an insult. Then the flirtatious smile was back. And Faith missed the brutal way Sam had acted before. It felt more honest. “But really, I’m a fan of true crime. I’m practically an NPR addict so-”
“Hey, sorry to interrupt, are you Faith?” A man stood beside their table, he was short, blonde and entirely unassuming. “That’s me,” Faith replied.
“Sorry, it’s just that your sister told me that we were meeting here. I didn’t know you were bringing a friend.” His sentences all climbed uphill like he was asking a question when he wasn’t. Faith balked looking between Sam and… Sam? Sam, the stunning brunette frowned. “Well, I thought I’d have more time.” She stood from her seat. “I meant what I said Detective Wilson, you have beautiful eyes.” And then, she left. And Faith was left reeling.
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8 comments
Great story! I'm looking forward to the sequel... I need to know more!!
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Ahhh! Thank you!
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I enjoyed the intrigue in this one. I need to know who that woman is! She tried real hard to get that info ;). Nice work on this one--it has the potential to be a larger story for sure. Just a few grammar things, which it looks like others have mentioned. Thanks for sharing!
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thank you!
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Hey hi! We got matched for the critique circle. I’ll share my first impressions, but please let me know if there’s anything I can help to clarify or if you’re looking for feedback on any specific points. Overall, the themes of this piece shine through in an interesting way. Faith was being pulled along through unforeseen circumstances, and your style helped me as a reader mirror that sense of reactiveness. The largest difficulty I had reading through was with the lack of paragraph breaks. Consider combing through to see where some of these...
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Thank you! I agree, I hadn't thought about paragraph breaks before submitting but if it lets me edit it I 100% will.
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Interesting story. I got a bit confused on characters probably because of the way your script is written. Work on Formatting...because It does help us readers separate the dialog on just who is speaking. The ending...definitely abrupt, and leaving me slightly confused, to read it over to see if I missed something... Your lead in...started making us, the readers too, breathe downwardly. Give us somewhere to go later. And why 'LED' is said with such emphasis, hmm.. Just give us what you want us to really hear and 'see.'
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Thanks for the advice, I appreciate the feedback! LED is capitalized because it's an acronym standing for light-emitting diode. I definitely need to work on formatting! I'm a bit confused about what you mean by "Your lead in...started making us, the readers too, breathe downwardly. Give us somewhere to go later." Could I maybe get an example of this? The ending wasn't meant to be neatly wrapped up it was meant to be an unfinished ending and an opportunity for the reader to come up with their own ending. I imagine this short story as a part ...
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