Jack

Jack made his way up the steadily inclining trail of Mount Willard in the White Mountains of New Hampshire.  The leaves proudly showed off their vivid colors of reds, yellows and oranges.   He navigated the few small streams he had to cross and rocky ledges before he finally made it to the top.  He loved it up here.  There were higher mountains in this range to climb but none offered the view that he could sit and stare into for hours on end.  He would put his faded wool blanket on the  giant boulder at the top and watch the sun fade into the trees turning the sky incandescent colors of purples and pinks until the black cloak of night settled over and the white dots of the stars scattered in the sky like diamonds.  

He would sit and ponder his life and the decisions he had made that had led him to where he was now.  They couldn’t be all bad he thought to himself, They led me to this beautiful place.  But there were ones that scratched at the back of mind and this was the place he came to itch that scratch, to let it all out so he could move on and continue with his daily life.  It was cathartic up here, surrounded by everything that was bigger than him, reminding him of how small and insignificant his footprint on the universe really was and in comparison it made his troubles seem irrelevant.  This is what cleared his head, this is what made him feel normal again.   

As Jack sat watching the sky turn from the light of day to darkness of night he decided to pack up and go home.  It was friday night but he had plans in the morning and didn’t want to be too wiped out when he got up.  He took one last look at the view of the night sky and the deep gorge below that had been carved out by glaciers eons ago as he folded his blanket and strapped it to his pack, turned on his headlamp and headed down the trail to his car.  He always went slower on the way down because it was dark and getting hurt out here could mean the difference between life and death.  One misstep could send him rolling off a ledge and into the darkness below where he most likely wouldn’t be found for years if ever.  He plotted his footing carefully as a slight breeze blew his raven hair around his face.  He heard whispers in the wind but knew it was just the dark and the isolation playing tricks on him.  He was utterly alone up here.  

Careful with each step and being sure to cast his headlamp down and in front the breeze came again and this time he stopped.  He had heard something.  It wasn’t the dark or being alone and it wasn’t the breeze.  It was something being carried on the breeze.  He stopped in his tracks, tilted his head like a dog and strained his ears.  He could hear it but couldn't quite make it out.  It sounded like whispers but there was no one out here but him and if it were other people on the trail their voices would be much clearer being carried by the night and bouncing off the mountain.  No, he was definitely alone.  He stood for another minute straining to hear but it was more of the same.  It was almost like a white noise but it had definition to it.  He couldn’t quite tell where it was coming from.  It seemed to be coming from the ground but that was impossible.  He would know if he was standing on someone!  

He took his headlamp off and passed it back and forth in front of him, shining it on the fallen leaves, looking at the ground, all the while telling himself he was crazy, there was no one here with him at all much less underneath him.  On his fifth pass he caught a glimpse of something, a reflection of his light and he swung the lamp back to where he saw it.  It was a leaf, a bright red, beautiful leaf that had fallen from the red maple he was standing next to.  He bent down slowly and picked the leaf by the short stem, bringing it up to his face under the glow of his headlamp.  The noise got louder and in the shock of the moment he almost dropped it.  “What the actual hell?” he said out loud to himself.  Behind him a twig snapped and he jumped.  

He had hiked this trail hundreds of times in the dark but tonight he felt uneasy.  He was creeped out and he wanted to be home.  He wanted to be in his living room with the lights on and the curtains drawn.  He wanted the safety of his home with the door closed and the walls tight around him.  Gripping the stem for dear life Jack threw caution to the wind and flew down the trail as fast as he could.  He stumbled over roots and almost ran into a tree but he maintained himself and finally made it to his car in what seemed like forever.  He threw his pack and lamp on the floor, started his car and left a cloud of dust behind him all the while gripping the leaf stem as hard as he could.  He didn’t even bother to buckle his seatbelt but he never heard the Ding Ding Ding of the alarm screaming at him to put it on.  

He was home in under twenty minutes and he jammed his car in park even though it was still rolling and the transmission gave a resentful grind.  He sat in his car for a minute looking at the leaf.  He heard nothing.  He put it up to his ear but only silence greeted his eardrum.  He let out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding then he started to laugh.  It was an almost hysterical laugh but became more normal as he thought about what he had done.  He had actually thought he heard noises coming from a dead leaf!  And if that wasn’t bad enough he had picked up the leaf, ran down a mountain trail where he could’ve been easily killed and sped home like a lunatic holding the damn thing like it was a stick of dynamite.  Good Christ he was losing his shit.  He laughed a little more, wiping tears from his eyes and headed into his cozy house where he would shower, eat then go to bed.  

He almost let the leaf fall in his driveway but something wouldn’t let him.  Just nerves he thought but still brought it in the house and put it on the dining room table.  Henry, his cat and longtime companion greeted him.  He let out a meow letting Jack know he was hungry and not too happy about eating so late.  He gave a scratch behind Henry’s ears, filled his bowl and headed to the shower.  Steam filled the bathroom as Jack washed the day and the sweat off of him.  He toweled dry and threw on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt then headed for the living room.  As he rounded the corner he saw Henry sitting on the dining room table.  His tail was swishing back and forth which he usually did if he was aggravated and staring intensely at the bright red leaf.  He growled low in his throat, a sound Jack had never heard before.  It sounded angry and afraid at the same time.  Jack's body broke out in goosebumps and the tiny hairs on the back of his neck stood at attention.  There seemed to be an electrical current in the air, he could not only feel but he could smell it too.  An almost burnt plastic smell like the first time you turn on your electric heat in the fall. 

He was frozen and all he could do was whisper “Henry.  You okay, buddy?”  but Henry would not take his eyes off the leaf.  He could see Henry was shaking.  My God he was afraid.  Jack realized he was afraid too.  He broke out of his freeze and walked towards Henry using a soothing voice.  “It’s okay, it’s just a leaf.  Nothing but a leaf.”  He reached out to pet Henry but he hissed and bared his teeth at Jack then launched himself off the table and disappeared.  Jack was alone with the leaf.  Part of his brain questioned his sanity.  Are you really afraid of a leaf?  You friggin’ dipshit.  But there was another part, a deeper, more archaic part that told him he should be afraid, he should run.  Leave the leaf on the damn table and run.  He didn’t run.  He walked slowly around the table, never taking his eyes off of it.  It looked like a normal leaf sitting there on the table.  It was a vibrant red but was starting to curl up around the edges and it would soon turn to brown, dry out and disintegrate.  There was nothing different about it than any of the other millions of leaves he had seen in his lifetime.  When he was a kid he would put them under his microscope and look at the varying veins and cell patterns.

That was it! His microscope!  The one thing he had held on to from his childhood.  It was tucked away neatly under his bed in its original box.  His fixation on the leaf broke and he darted to his room, dropped to his knees and pushed his storage containers out of the way searching for the box that said Nikon is bold letters.  There it was behind a tote of sweaters.  When he pushed the box away Henry hissed and swatted at his hand.  The box was old and yellowed and had about an inch of dust on it.  He made a mental note to clean under his bed as he pulled the box out , dusted it off then pulled the microscope out.  It was in pristine condition.  He carried it out to the dining room and the burnt plastic smell hit his nose and once again all the hairs on his body stood at attention.  He pushed a pile of papers onto the floor and set it down then plugged the cord into the outlet and turned the power switch to on.  The tiny light came on and he sighed in relief.  It had been over twenty years since he had used this thing and dammit it still worked; friggin’ Nikon.  

With a hand that was shaking like a leaf on a tree (he giggled at this pun) he took the leaf and placed it under the microscope on the mechanical stage and secured it with the stage clip being extra careful not to damage it.  He adjusted the lens and magnified it by four hundred times.  He could see the cell structure of the leaf, it’s lower epidermis and guard cells were as clear as day.  They were flat and looked almost like square pancakes but on top of these cells, even smaller, was a light like a white phosphorus when you strike a match.  “What the hell?” He said to no one.  He cranked it up to 1500 magnification and that’s when he saw it.  Little globs of light moving around.  Except it wasn’t phosphorus and it wasn’t little globs.  When he made it less blurry he saw they were shaped and almost humanoid in appearance.  If he could only magnify it more but this was the best the 1985 Nikon could do.  

He saw thousands of these tiny figures moving around.  They seemed to be in a rush and their movements were methodical, almost choreographed.  Then he heard it.  He heard what he thought he had heard on the breeze but then realized the breeze had probably obscured it more than helped it.  It was voices, thousands of miniscule voices.  He couldn't understand them but he knew they were talking.  He pulled away from the lens and rubbed his eyes.  He must be seeing and hearing things.  This couldn’t be real.  He’d lost it.  He had finally gone mad.  It did run in his family after all and he knew this day would come but he was hoping it wouldn’t be until much later.  No such luck I guess, he thought.  He didn’t feel crazy though and these things usually came on gradually not all at once, not in one single moment.  He steadied himself then looked through the lens again.  

There it was, an entire world on the underside of this leaf.  An entire species and their universe under his microscope The longer he looked the clearer it became.  He saw tiny bodies shuffling around.  He saw some go into what he could only assume were buildings and homes.  It looked exactly like what a giant would see if he or she looked down on earth as the blue marble sat in their hand.  Communities, families shuffling about their daily lives completely ignorant to the fact that they were being watched and how small they actually were.  He was peering at an entire universe on something that was smaller than his hand.  He broke out into a cold sweat and his breathing became fast and shallow.  Was he really seeing this?  Could this be real?  It couldn’t be but there it was in all it’s glory right before his eyes.  He sat back on the chair and put his head in his hands.  He was speechless, dumbfounded.  He thought What if at this exact moment, there is someone or something holding the earth in its hands peering down on us, on me?  And what if at the same time there is someone or something else that is holding that things world in their hands and is staring at them watching me watching these lifeforms?  Dear god where does it end?   

Something inside Jack snapped.  The thin fabric of Jack's reality of everything’s reality tore open with an audible rupture.  Sound and light and taste and smell seemed to all at once disappear and assault him.  He slumped over in his chair and a thin line of drool fell from the corner of his mouth.  Jack never spoke or moved again.  The long hikes up the mountain were but a distant memory just out of his reach.  Everything he had done in his life was a fable.  Everything he had ever thought of doing in the future was gone.  Jack was gone.  Henry meowed in the background but he never heard it.