ROYAL TURMOIL
“Ouch!!!” There was nothing Princess Adelaide hated more than a tight corset. “Hold still,” the housekeeper Elise prompted or impelled. “I am!!” Adelaide wanted to scream, but instead she maintained her composure. “Drama queen.” That was Princess Olivia, her ever so supportive sister. Sarcasm. Elise slipped her into a fitted gown as opposed to Olivia’s ball gown, which accentuated her curves. Her scent was like that of honeydew and her blush the color of rose. Her tiara was a nice silver as was her jewelry which had a touch of emerald complementing her eyes. The bronze lipstick looked pretty against her already plump lips. Her tight curls hung down on either side of her face. Olivia possessed loose curls. Her long lashes added a dash of extra femininity. Her heels helped her walk with grace. “You are beautiful.” Elise couldn’t help herself. “What about me?” Olivia inquired. Her lips were curled. “You are also beautiful,” Elise felt compelled to answer. Olivia didn’t seem convinced. She walked away, abruptly, not turning back-nose up in the air. Adelaide was about to walk away when Elise grabbed her by the wrist. “Here,” she said wrapping a bracelet around it. “For good luck, and it looks pretty on you,” Elise shrugged. “Why?” Adelaide was bemused, bewildered. “You’re always kind to me,” she admitted. That warmed Adelaide’s heart. She hugged her on impulse. The embrace was tight and long. “Now go!” Elise urged or pressed, giving her a slight push. “Thank you,” Adelaide whispered back. “You’re getting all sentenial on me.” “Sentimental,” Adelaide corrected. “Go!” Elise repeated.
The flickering lights almost blinded her, but as a princess, as royalty, she had to keep it together. Her steps remained graceful, walking in strides. All eyes were on her but she didn’t miss a beat. She caught Olivia’s eyes though, displeasure laced her features. Ignoring her she refused to look at the crowd, gazing through the distance. Today was the day that Adelaide and Olivia were to be introduced to their suitors and make a decision. Olivia seemed more interested in her sister’s grand entrance than the men around her, but to be frank, everyone was. Mingling. That was what Adelaide engaged in while her sister sulked in the corner, uninterested. She was trying to be gregarious because she really wasn’t romantically inclined. The place that was tranquil when Adelaide made her presence known was now buzzing with life, energy and chatter. It was resembled that of a bustling street. A shadowy figure stepped into the light. The stranger was a man. It was his turn to shut everything down. He was tall, handsome and everything in between. Adelaide could have sworn that the unimpressed, uninterested Olivia’s mouth was hanging wide open. Adelaide had to see for herself. What was this madness about? Oh…Shoot…Gawking. Stop staring too much. Stop staring too much. Adelaide developed rosy cheeks or red cheeks from how flustered she was. She tried to look away. Then the guy placed his focus on her…Crap! He proceeded to brush past the many broad shoulders, and walked right up to her. “Please allow me to formally introduce myself,” were his cold words. The statement sounded rehearsed, scripted. “You can be comfortable around me,” she assured or reassured. “I think I like you already,” he revealed. “You think?” “Ok, I know.” Chuckles. Laughter. Olivia rolled her eyes. She wanted to throw up or better yet, shoot herself in the heart. No scratch that…her heart belonged to him. Adelaide didn’t deserve him, she did. Next thing you know, the stranger’s eyes landed on Adelaide’s wrist. “Ditch that old thing, I have something better,” he ordered as nicely as possible. Peter brought out the most beautiful and expensive looking bracelet she had ever seen, even though she was the regal one. “Oh wow!!” she exclaimed. He flashed a smile and she almost fainted…collapsed is more like it. “I think I like you already,” she began. “I mean, know,” she concluded. His skin brushed against hers when he wrapped the object around her wrist. She felt a tingling sensation. Olivia was sure she would vomit; it was only a matter of time. 1,2,3… “Shall we dance?” “Of course we shall,” Adelaide replied. And seconds later they had the floor. Hand in hand with her twirling. “I’m the one with the ball gown,” Olivia muttered or mumbled to herself in dismay. The staring into each other’s eyes, the ogling and the incessant laughter was what Olivia found appalling. “Everyone’s staring at us,” Adelaide said coyly. “We’re the life of the party,” Peter stated. “Did I tell you that you look ravishing and that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes upon?” “No.” It came out as a coarse whisper and Adelaide felt betrayed by her senses, like she was drowning in the ocean of love but she couldn’t control herself. Peter lifted her chin up so that they were face to face. And before you know it, lips were locked. He was kissing her! This infuriated Olivia. She wanted him! They belonged together! He was hers! “Old thing huh? Looks better on me anyway,” Olivia said putting the discarded item around her own wrist. Olivia tried to shoot her shot, it was the least she could do. Somehow, the bracelet enabled her to muster up the courage to do so. Was it luck? She would try it. She would try it. Try her luck. She approached them… “Hello handsome.” Those words came out a little cheerier than they were supposed to. Adelaide cringed. “Let me formally introduce myself. I am Olivia.” Rehearsed. Scripted…Fake. She stretched out her long dragon nails, expecting her hand to be kissed, but instead he went for a handshake. “Let me help you with that tie…” Seriously? “…lay down that standing strand of hair.” Really? “What are you doing?” Adelaide mouthed silently to her sister. She then proceeded to straighten Peter’s suit and adjust his sleeves. It was obvious that she was flirting. That’s it! That’s it! That was the last straw. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. She pulled Olivia aside to a dark corner before she could wreak anymore havoc. Dark because she didn’t want Olivia to embarrass her more than she already had, to embarrass her any further. “What was that about?” Adelaide could finally hear herself, and she sounded hurt. “Me getting the spotlight for at least once in my life,” Olivia said through clenched teeth. She sounded angry. Was there a hint of jealousy there? Jealousy detected? “I’m the one who was hurt tonight Olivia.” Adelaide made her see reason. “Don’t you realize it’s always about you?” Olivia rejected that type of reasoning. “Is it ever though? You just proved that tonight,” Adelaide confirmed. “No, you just proved that tonight.” Adelaide threw her hands up in frustration. “You’re the one who just put me in an awkward position.” “You put yourself in that position. He doesn’t belong to you! He’s mine!” There was venom and spite in her every word. “He’s not some prized possession Olivia, we’re sisters not competitors. The sooner you realize that, the better.” The ruckus must have attracted attention, for it was then that Peter walked in, permitting or allowing Adelaide to have the last word. “Um…I should…go.” The timid tone in his voice painted the idea that he felt he was encroaching. He immediately scurried past the door. “Peter wait!!” Adelaide called after him, following with quick footsteps. “What’s going on?” he demanded. “It’s Olivia,” Adelaide was breathless, breathing heavy. “She feels she has to compete with me for everything.” “I’ll leave you to it.” “Don’t go. Please don’t go,” Adelaide pleaded, but he had disappeared into the night, into oblivion within seconds. “Aargh!!!” Adelaide was never one to lose her temper, but sometimes Olivia brought the worst out of her. She aggravated her, exasperated her. Worst of all, she swore she could hear Olivia laughing at her, mocking or ridiculing her. She marched up to her, fuming. “You. Are. Ridiculous.” Adelaide made sure the words hit. But it looked as though her plan failed, Olivia was jealous and bat shit crazy. “If I can’t have him, you can’t!” She had a sullen disposition. “Is that a threat?” “It’s anything you want it to be,” Olivia said nonchalantly or matter-of-factly. Adelaide wanted to pull her hair out, she was so aggravating. She didn’t stop talking. “Step aside, if you know what’s good for you.” “And if I don’t?” Adelaide was calling her bluff. “I’ll ruin the relationship.” Olivia didn’t mince her words. It was frightening to be honest. It was frightening to say the least. It was frightening to put it mildly. You get the picture. “Just like that,” Adelaide said in disbelief. “Just like that. Poof.” “You sick, callous, sadistic…” “Careful now,” Olivia admonished or cautioned. “Or what?” Adelaide was trying to poke the bear. “Trust me, you don’t wanna know.” The bear wasn’t backing down. As a bear should. Adelaide would have to become a lioness if she wanted to defeat this bear-level the playing field. Lions, and tigers, and bears, oh my!
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Hello Elenda, Critique Circle here. Your story has some great descriptions. For instance: 'scent was like that of honeydew and her blush the color of rose.' and 'displeasure laced her features.' You also use alliteration well, as in ' unimpressed, uninterested' and 'muttered or mumbled'. Do you mind if I make a suggestion? When you write dialogue, it's less distracting if you write 'said' rather than telling us how the speaker said it. Your reader will work it out for themselves. Also each time a person speaks, start a new indented line. Lik...
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