How Meet Cute is That?

An eye opened as he slid out of a dream he couldn’t remember. He lifted his head a little and a dull ache started but it wasn’t bad. His hangovers tended to be much worse than this. His mouth tasted awful but that was normal.

Then he noticed his arm was clad in a black, or was it navy blue, shirt. He rubbed a hand across his eyes as he pushed himself up out of the bed. He noticed that his pants matched the shirt and a vague memory of last night tried to remind him why. His hand found the badge on his chest and he remembered everything. Last night had been epic.

He stood up and started unbuttoning the uniform shirt on the way to the shower. He was already smiling as memories of last night started playing in his head.

It had all started off really boring, just him and a few friends hanging at this new pool hall downtown. It was a nice place. The tables were all brand new and the music was good but the only women in the place were the waitresses walking around selling trays of test tube shots.

He finished stripping off his clothes and stepped into the hot shower. He felt foul from last night but the hot water started washing it away. He opened his mouth and let the water fill it, swished it around and then spit the whole mess towards the drain. It didn’t help much. The cottony feel came right back. Nothing that a little toothpaste and a lot of Gatorade wouldn’t fix.

He put a handful of shampoo in his hair and lathered it up then grabbed the soap and scrubbed himself clean as he remembered how the lame night had heated up when that bachelorette party had walked in.

They’d been impossible to ignore from the moment they came through the door. Loud as hell, obviously already a few drinks in. His friends had just looked at each other and smiled. They knew the night had just gotten interesting.  

Of course it was only a matter of time before one of his friends had “happened” to head for the bar to get another round at the same time as couple of the bridesmaids. They’d only had a few minutes to talk while the bartender mixed up some drinks for the ladies but he’d managed to get some basic facts.

The bride was a pool player but most of the other ladies thought it was a pretty lame way to spend a Friday night. Since it was her night they were starting here and they’d see where the night took them. That was pretty much it before the bartender came back with their drinks but it was the parting remark that gave Dave the idea that turned the night into the kind of story nobody was likely to forget for a long time.

As she walked away one of the girls had commented that they hadn’t even hired any “entertainment” because the bride hadn’t wanted any. She sounded really disappointed and Dave got a brilliant, inspired, nasty idea that he was now really guilty to be proud of.

As he stepped out of the shower the phone rang. He grabbed a towel and headed into the bedroom hastily drying himself and leaving a soggy trail on the carpet.

He grabbed his phone and braced himself when he saw it was his brother.

“Hello” he said innocently. A smile curled the corner of his lip.

“Where’s my fucking uniform asshole.” His brother was as pissed as he’d expected. It made it even funnier.

“Relax, it’s right here.” He said eyeing the crumpled uniform on the floor in a ball. He’d walked right over it to get to the phone so it was now soaking wet.

“Fuck you. Do you have any idea how much trouble you could have gotten us both in?” His brother was always such a hard ass about stuff like this. Thankfully his wife had a better sense of humor.

“Oh Calm down. Its not like I stole the cruiser and tore around with the sirens blaring.”

“And that’s why I can’t ever bring the cruiser home at night.” His brother explained frustrated. But Dave could tell he was already starting to calm down. Now he could hear Rebecca laughing in the background. She’d been the one to loan him the uniform last night. She’d even dug up a small portable radio to complete the costume.

“All right, Sorry.” He said. But he was chuckling when he said it. His brother calmed down a little more.

“Just bring the uniform back. And don’t even think about wearing it again” he admonished. Dave chuckled a little more.

“Don’t you even want to hear about last night.” He interjected before his brother could hang up.

“No I don’t want to hear about last night.” He said wearily but Dave heard the curiosity hidden behind the words. He just wasn’t ready to listen yet.

He also heard Rebecca in the back ground shouting that she wanted to hear about it. His brother hung up the phone before she could wrestle it from him.

Dave was pulling on his pants. He pulled on a shirt and stepped over the balled up uniform as he went back into the bathroom to find his toothbrush. The headache was only a dull throb, barely even there. He was a little surprised but then he realized he’d been having so much fun last night that he hadn’t found the time to drink as much as he normally would have.

As he brushed his teeth he was remembering the confused looks on his friends faces when he’d gotten up, told them he’d be back and then said not to fuck it up for him without ever explaining his plan.

He’d called Rebecca on the way over and told her the plan. She’d laughed, called him a pig and then had everything ready when he got to their house. She’d thought it was hilarious, His brother would too once he calmed down a little.

He finished brushing his teeth and headed to the small kitchen for some breakfast still remembering last night.

As he’d come out of the bathroom at his brothers house he’d asked Rebecca if this was a bad idea.

“Of course it is.” She’d confirmed “But its also gonna make for one hell of a story afterwards. If I was at a bachelorette party and someone did this I would love it.”

He hadn’t felt so sure and she’d read it on his face.

“Listen, You’re the only guy I know with the balls to pull this off.” She’d handed him the radio. “Just go do it.”

He’d gone out the door and down the steps. Then she’d called out to him.

“Hey Dave.” He’d turned “Just don’t go Full Monty ok.” She’d said with a laugh.

He given her a shrug and a grin that didn’t commit him to anything and any doubts he’d had were gone. He’d jumped in the car smiling. He couldn’t wait to see where this night was going to lead.

He pulled bacon and eggs out of the fridge and grabbed a frying pan. As he peeled slices of bacon from the package he was remembering walking back into the pool hall. He’d noticed that some of the guys were at the bar talking to a few of the girls from the party. They noticed him and were staring. The girls with them turned around curious to see what they were staring at.

He’d set the radio on an empty pool table and walked up to the rest of the bachelorette party.

“Who’s in charge here?” He’d demanded, trying to imitate his brother as best he could.

They’d all turned around. It was comical how surprised they’d looked but he kept the stern expression.

One of them had finally stammered that she guessed she was but he’d ignored her and walked right up the blonde wearing the veil. She was beautiful and just starting to catch on.

“We’ve had some complaints” he’d said trying to maintain eye contact but she’d figured out what was going on and was checking him out

“What kind of complaints?” The maid of honor had asked.

He turned and walked straight to the pool table with the radio on it. He felt the bride checking out his ass as he did it.

“People have complained.” He said slowly, trying to time this perfectly. “That this party is too boring.” As he finished his finger pushed play on the radio and he’d spun and started gyrating to the music. He’d managed to time it perfectly and the women had squealed excitedly. One of them had already grabbed her purse and was running to the bar to change her twenties into ones.

The maid of honor had finally caught on.

“Wait.” She’d said but nobody was paying any attention. “I didn’t hire him.”

She went to the bride who was making full eye contact with him now as he danced and slowly unbuttoned the uniform shirt. He was making a connection and it was kind of electric

“I didn’t hire him.” She said again.

The bride had finally broken eye contact and looked at her. She’d shaken her head to clear it and he knew she’d been feeling the connection too.

“What?” Was all she’d managed.

“You said you didn’t want strippers so I didn’t hire him.”

“Was I drunk when I said it?” The bride asked.

The maid of honor didn’t seem to understand the question. She’d just stared. Dave was dancing for the group now but he was close enough to hear everything.

“If not.” The bride had continued. “Then anything I said could have been held against me.” She’d explained extending the cop metaphor.

The maid of honor had stared at her. Surprised but delighted.

“I’m drunk now.” The Bride had turned back to Dave. “So come dance for me baby.”

The girls had all laughed. They were waving ones at him and watching him dance.

He’d turned to her and ripped his shirt open the rest of the way. The women went wild. He worried for about a half a second that he’d lost a few buttons with that move but the bride loved it so he started dancing with her and forgot all about buttons.

He took the bacon out of the pan and set it on a paper towel to soak up the grease as he realized, much to his surprise, that he hadn’t lost any of those buttons.

As he dropped eggs in the pan he was remembering how great it had felt to have all those women eating up every move he’d made. He’d had to move away from the bride a little because that was getting a little too intense, he wasn’t trying to break up the marriage or anything, so now he was dancing for the group again.

He made eye contact with the bride. He’d stolen, and was wearing, one of his brother’s ‘wife beater’ tee shirts. Now he grabbed a handful of shirt on either side of his chest and ripped them apart. The shirt tore right down the middle. The bride drank in the site with her eyes. She seemed to really enjoy his abs.

It was then that the bouncer had shown up.

He’d clicked off the radio and yelled. “You can’t do this in here.”

A few of the girls had groaned and tried to protest. The bride had just kept staring. The maid of honor had stepped in.

“We’re just having a little fun here.” She’d started. “Nobody’s going to get naked.” She gave Dave a look. He nodded. That was fine with him.

“I don’t care.” The bouncer had responded, putting his hands up and shaking his head. “You can’t do it here. We ain’t licensed for it.”

“Nobody’s going to file a complaint” She’d tried. “Look around. Everyone is having fun.”

He’d just folded his arms across his barrel chest and shook his head.

“Take it someplace else.” He’d said and Dave had figured the guy probably didn’t want to see some dude dancing on a pool table shaking his junk.

The bride had looked really disappointed.

One of the other girls wasn’t as drunk as the rest so she’d figured it out first.

“We’ve got a party bus outside.” She’d pointed out

They’d all looked at her as it sunk in what she was suggesting. Then they started grabbing purses and taking one last sip of their drinks.

He’d grabbed the uniform shirt off the floor and the Bride slipped an arm around him as they’d headed for the door.

He put the eggs on the plate, added the bacon and started buttering the toast that had just popped. He brought them over to his small table next to the window.

Instead of looking out the window he was remembering climbing on the bus with all those women. As he did the maid of honor was telling the bus driver to “just drive.”

The bus driver took one look at Dave, nodded his understanding, and started the bus.

The party bus was set up for exactly that. A party. The seats were arranged so that the occupants could talk to each other with a space in the middle that was just big enough to make a decent stage.

The women all settled in and somebody pushed play on the radio. Dave started dancing. The next move had him worried but it turned out losing the pants went smoother than he’d expected. He just unbuckled, unzipped and let them go. The heavy utility belt pulled them all the way to the floor. He wasn’t sure how sexy it had looked but the girls seemed to enjoy it.

Now he just had to step out without tripping. One foot came right out but as he lifted the other he felt the pants catch on his toe. He gave a kick and sent them in the direction of the three girls he’d seen talking to his friends at the bar not noticing as his phone bounced out of the back pocket.

He turned his attention back to the bride. She was laughing and clearly enjoying the show. The maid of honor was next to her now, eating Dave up with her eyes.

He was down to his boxer briefs now. They weren’t exactly a G-string but then again, he hadn’t exactly been planning on stripping for a bunch of women when he left his apartment tonight.

He danced for a while, debating whether or not to give them the full show. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of the briefs, teasing them. He wasn’t sure. The bride locked her eyes on his package and waited. The maid of honor looked at him and shook her head indicating that he shouldn’t. Some of the women were looking, and some were looking away but they were all laughing and having a great time.

Then a redhead near the front of the bus stood up. She was handing a phone to the girl next to her.

“Will he or wont he girls? It’s the moment of truth.” Her friends were surprised, even a little confused at the outburst but he knew right away that she knew. She never would have said anything if she thought he was a professional stripper. “Is he gonna free willy?” There was a challenge in her eyes, and a sparkle that he found really sexy.

Then the phone she’d handed to the other girl started ringing. The girl gave a hilariously surprised look then started laughing and silenced it.

Dave realized that he recognized the ring tone. He gave the redhead a sheepish smile and a shrug that said he knew he was busted.

“It turns out our new friend here isn’t a stripper at all.” She announced. “He was playing pool with is friends when we walked in tonight.” Their eyes stayed locked the whole time. She was really enjoying the situation he was in. He still thought she was sexy as hell.

“OK” He admitted. “So its my first time, but I didn’t think I did half bad.” He said with a big smile as he turned to the bride and maid of honor. They didn’t argue.

The maid of honor looked pissed for a second but then the bride laughed. The maid of honor shrugged, as long as the bride was happy she didn’t seem to care. The rest of the group went from shocked to laughing.

He looked back at the redhead. She seemed impressed with the way he had handled the situation. He gave her a sexy smile. She blushed a little and looked away.

After that he’d retrieved his pants and they’d decided to carry on with the night. They decided on a nightclub and he’d texted his friends to come join them.

He cleaned up his breakfast dishes and grabbed his cell phone. He had no plans for the day, or tonight for that matter, so he decided to text Paul to see what he was doing.

There were a ton of unread texts from last night on his phone. Mostly from his friends asking where the hell he’d disappeared to, but there was one buried in there from a number he didn’t know.

He opened it and all it said was ‘Hi’

On a whim he called the number.

It rang a few times. He was expecting it to go to voicemail but then someone picked up.

“Hello” He recognized the voice but he couldn’t place it. It sounded a little rough around the edges.

“Hi.” He said and realized he didn’t know what to say next. “Who’s this?”

“Nichole” She said groggily and he was able to place the voice.

He smiled. It was the redhead from last night