Is my sky Pink, Blue or Dark?

Submitted into Contest #54 in response to: Write a story about someone looking to make amends for a mistake.... view prompt



Flocks of crows hovered in the sky. Producing a cacophony of bitter noises, they giggled it blue and pink. Life produced itself when owls hid their eyes in the irritant light. Lied solitary, their bodies cuddled peace of tiredness at night, and looking overwhelmed, nature hid its blue and pink colors.

With its screen reflecting pink and blue, a gun marched with a dark head and a red face on the ground. Sounds of ticker belled in time's ears and a pond of innocence watered the land, thrashing it solitarily. Quivering for life, thousands more laid above this innocence as bullets ramped the sky to its own color. One after the other, crows collapsed down. Nature was muddled to the scenery, whether the color of the gun was black or red. Cut on its hands, it cried and laughed at the creation it had built with those hopeless hands. Laughed because they were no more.

A flock of birds fled the trees in the dirty sky like flowers rooted out of pricking stems. Owls were attacked in the second wave as the ungraved corpses rained fear to their sleep. Dreams hid as owls carried hopelessness and fell numb on the ground: no more.

Dusk bowed down to the loss as night thundered waterfalls in the red river. Brown and black mixed in melancholy of pain buried, and fire shouting to kill more.

Blaming the attack on the crows, a parliament of owls vilified the black lives for the dark hands. Fire shined in the eyes of the owls as the creatures decided an 'ultimate seclusion' to an already solitary life. It was decided that no owl would enter a crow's territory and the days will be deserted for owls to live their lives. Nights will only be lived on the blood of the crows. Dawn set as the crows cawed because the roosters were still sleeping in rue of a night that comes occasionally. The songbirds lost their voices when they heard the doldrums drumming from the Crows land. They decided crows to be their permanent enemies and declared nuisance of any OWl to caw or giggle of crows. BLACK GHOULS was the name scripted before all the crimes in all the sections of the OWL Criminal Code.

Tears dropped the drenched ground as Susan bowed to her dad's dead body. Her mother, the queen, was dead fighting for her life and brutally raped by a gang of owls. Susan was born to a family of crows, which is no more to be called a family. She is the only one left to carry on the legacy of her father, who was the king of the CROW MURDER WORLD. Interrogating the lives lost, Susan agreed to be the next queen and ordered for a meeting. The sky was stirred when a heavy flight pierced it overjoyed. The sun shined to give some light to the leaves laid tabled before the ministers. The Crow Investigation Agency suggested owls behind the attack and declared their Independence from the World which had always mocked them. The board under Susan decided to block all the passages towards the OWl LAND and declared trespass of any OWL to the crow's land or any crow to the OWL's Land as an offense, leading to a torturous death sentence.

Dusk rolled the sky already dark. Peter engulfed black salt as his bare brawny body vowed to live his mother's legacy, who was dead in his hands as the last queen of the Empire. Peter was crowned as the king and was enthroned by an old royal family bishop. He took the crown, held it in his hands, took a crow's corpse, pierced its chest with his hand, took the heart away, and held it high before the assembly. "Owls and their ladies, the time has gone when we were just enemies, now we are warriors..." The crowd howled light in the stary dark sky and the haunting voices killed the sleep of the crows sleeping deep in anger on the other side of the forest.

To the reader's right prediction, love met in the dawn when the morning star met the moon, which hid from the fresh sun. Peter was tired of hunting the forests for flesh and remained aplomb. He decided to stay until he finds a good flesh even if sunrise sets the sky. On the other side of the forest, Susan went on to hunting as the roosters were getting ready to cackle romance in the air.

Flashed high, the two searched for their destiny, determined to get it. Will smashed hunger as the search searched for its destiny. Looking tasty, they both jumped onto a bug at the same time. Disappeared, the bug was gone but existence met disappearance as Susan overlayed on peter as both their eyes met. The quest was fulfilled as destiny met in awe. Long walks of thirsty crows and lousy owls faded as the two looked at each other. Never had they ever seen their enemy so beautifully. 'Love at first sight', Shakespeare smiled as the sky set blue and pink.

Nature bathed happiness as dejection was gone and hands revamped liveliness. The innate mystery met this curious story as all mistakes of the dead past looked for amends, somewhere on a foggy road.

Peter came back to reality first and hurried back to his world that seemed dark a minute ago. Susan crunched her face as the tears of love hid her eyes in anger. "How the hell are you here? How dare you?" cawed Susan. Peter just looked at her and resistance could not explain the unjust justice of love. Susan forgot her dares and hell lied back waiting for the heaven in front. Susan quivered as tears rolled her eyes. Galvanised, she shook her anger and veiled her tears. The shame produced itself and stopped her from unveiling the truth. Peter cleared off Susan's tears as his weary eyes looked for a calm sleep in this fresh morning.

It was the first time a sin so egregious was committed that a hundred amends could not bring back the past. The future ran away from the dark past and the present was muddled between the two. The two colors, blue and pink cuddled in the sky seeing the two together. The two love birds hugged the war, which had just met peace. Destiny began its story looking for an amend.

"I just don't know why I am crying, " said Susan " Maybe..."

" Maybe you have never seen an owl," said Peter

"No" replied Susan "Maybe I have never seen such a handsome owl"

"Well, you are the most beautiful Black Ghoul I have ever seen," said Peter

"Black Ghoul..?" asked Susan.

"We are not supposed to take the word out", Peter sorrowed regret.

"The word", shocked was Susan.

"The word.. which explains you" shook Peter.

"Anyways, My name is Susan, the Queen of the Crow Land and you are.." asked Susan

"I am Peterrr...King of the Owl land" quivered the king.

Both of them did not know if such a world existed for the two were not able to reshape the presence. "Well shock comes when the past has never imagined the future in the present," said Nature to the pink and blue sky.

"I dooooon't knooww whatt to sayyy" murmured Susan.

"Should we kill each other?" asked Peter

"Ok, Peter! We have met and I... I.....I " babbled the confused fused Susan.

"Don't tell me you have fallen in love with me" asked Peter.

Susan cawed and cawed to the spirit she has never seen in her and a flinch watched the two madly in love. Both of them laid on each other. Peter starred the sleepy Susan the whole day and night rolled by when Susan saw the sleeping peter. Nature was fine with such an abnormal phenomenon breaking normalcy to something beyond being normal.

The flinch reported the crows of the mistake the queen has done and a murder of crows marched to the sight seen. Nature warned the owls of the caws coming into the OWl'S land and the minister declared a war on the crows. The two resisted fear and stayed in each other until the sky turned dark. Susan saw it as a bad omen and to the honesty of the sky, they both fled. Misunderstanding replaced logic as the two creatures wildly gushed towards each other's lands.

The murder and the parliament met each other in fury and started the war. Two bullets shocked the nature, the sky, and the stupidity warring across the trees of the forests as a loud metallic click hung the flying love in the sky. Blood showered from the sky as Peter and Susan resisted death too early. They had just started their life as the two stranded in shock in the sky with red angry blood still oozing the sky. Slowly, resistance couldn't resist itself and one body made of an owl and a crow came down the sky. Suffused: the two shiny bulbs in dark. Two corpses showered the heavenly light as Peter and Susan lied happily on each other, on a poisonous land they had left seconds ago. The crows and the owls saw their king and the queen dead. An owl was dead over a crow and thousands of crows and owls petrified screeches of love to the sky. Pink and blue sky shined in the dark sun of a heavenly moon and dusk and dawn ended day and night. Never did day and night ever come back after that. It was only dusk and dawn that made both of them stay forever together. Dusk and dawn that never made Owls enjoy the nights and crows caw in the day. Both the living beings loved each other between the two ends of a knot.

Sacrifice was the solution to the sin committed. The sin was not the love of Peter and Susan but the longing for pink and blue colors to kill the darkness. The crows and the owls united forever after that. Nature rued its mistake to the sky and destiny made forgiveness as an amendment to its mistake. History is a witness to the fact that all mistakes amend themselves in nature but it is a man who looks for it.

An urchin unveiled his fancy dress mask of a flinch down on the ground and hung the dark gun in his hand. "Blood lies in that gun," said Pink to Blue, pointing the gun "No, amends lie to a mistake forgotten" replied Blue.

August 10, 2020 10:47

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Charles Stucker
23:33 Aug 19, 2020

Critique Circle "Fire shined in" should be shone, not shined. Happens again in "The sun shined" "The crowd howled light in the stary" starry "Peter was tired of hunting the forests for flesh and remained aplomb." use confident instead of aplomb. Although the words are similar, they are not used the same way. "Susan overlayed on peter as both their eyes met" make it "Susan laid upon Peter" When you say "flinch" do you mean "finch"? With all the flowing metaphor and surreal imagery this seems like literary instead of commercial...


Tejas Chandna
11:46 Aug 20, 2020

Thank you so much for such detailed feedback. All the errors will be corrected. It is a blend of elements from a literary as well as commercial fiction. I love flowery language as it sets the essence in my stories, but sometimes it doesn't make any sense. This is because I have just started writing and it will take time for me to be on track. I wanted to write a commercial fiction with a blend of literary colors, but I lost the commercial features. And yes I meant "Finch" and not "Flinch". Seems like I didn't revise it well. Thanks again. ...


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