My Red Bakery That Never Existed

My beautiful brunette haired baby girl.

My daughter Ruby Sheridan.

Born on October 13th, 1893.

Lying in my hospital bed.

Trying to be optimistic about welcoming Ruby into this world but struggling since fighting leukemia can make a woman feel hopeless at times.

My mother’s name was Ruby as well, except with my maiden name, Lovell.

Ruby Lovell.

What a generous and selfless woman indeed.

Someone who will be like a guardian angel guiding my Ruby girl through any hardship that she may face.

Where my daughter will always have a part of her Lovell heritage attached to her.

But I glance up at my husband Felix.

Felix Sheridan.

The look on his face, It just isn’t making sense to me.

I thought maybe he was staring at our newborn baby girl but now he looks angry,

He is still staring at her except with anger.

Does he not like the name that I chose for her?

Did I not tell him that I named our child after my mother?

I see most of my friends husbands having the softest and most caring expressions on their faces whenever their kids came into this world.

My friends have zero doubts about the way that their husbands will treat their children.

My friends are absolutely positively sure that their husbands love them forever and always.

Why can’t I feel the same way about Felix?

I see the way that he lights up whenever he sees Adele Sheridan.

The first born child.

How she is his favorite thing in the universe.

I remember how I was in the hospital getting some decayed teeth removed when I found out that I was supposed to have Adele.

At the time, it seemed believable since I was on anesthesia and my stomach was in a great amount of pain as well.

After Felix left the room, I felt the bed shaking violently.

I was trying to push her out of me while multiple things were happening at once.

My mouth felt like it was being destroyed.

I was incredibly overwhelmed.

Then as Felix entered the room again, I felt lots of blood come out of me.

There was so much that it was even running down my legs.

A few minutes after I got cleaned up, Felix handed me Adele.

That striking blonde hair of hers.

Those gorgeous green eyes of hers.

Felix’s face expression was softer and more pure when Adele was brought into this world.

Why do I have this gut feeling that I need to pray for Ruby?

Hoping that she will have a great life filled with prosperity.

No mother in her right mind should be scared about her child not having a good life.

Things became different with Felix ever since my contact was revoked to continue the rebuilding of what would have been my biggest dream that was never a reality.

My Red Bakery That Never Existed.

Describing what I will never get saddens me but it gives me hope that our Ruby will have big and bold dreams as well as I did.

Bright red walls.

A garden of different shades of red roses for the plants that I would have kept.

Carpet softer than sherpa so that way people could feel at home and peaceful when they would have stepped foot in my beautiful fantasy bakery.

You probably guessed it, The color of the carpet would have been pastel red.

The pastries I would have served.

The finest red macarons with the tastiest red burgundy red velvet cake.

I also would have made sure to have stocked up well on cherry cakes and other cherry flavored pastries as well.

Maybe even ice creams.

Oh the possibilities of my little red bakery would have been endless.

I remember the day the well known Darius Newmont accused me of murdering the other local bakery owner.

Why would someone accuse a woman with the mother who treated everyone like they were the finest piece of twenty four carat gold.

Why would she murder a random person who she had nothing to do with?

Why would anyone in their right mind murder a person who did no harm to her family?

Why would a woman or a man murder a person who was not as wealthy as the Newmont Construction Company owners.

People want ginormous, huge paychecks these days, the more money the merrier.

It was rumored that the other local Birnam baker paid the employees incredibly well with higher salaries than most bakery employees in the nearby towns and villages.

It’s sickening how many people speak lies.

“I know for a fact that Ira did it”.

“Ira we saw you do it so just fess up already.”

“That Ira Sheridan woman is a hateful human being.”

“Ira Sheridan needs to own up to her actions.”

”Repent Ira, Repent.”

“I have never seen a woman in this day and age shoot with a gun more precise than Ira Sheridan.”

“We all know you wanted it your way Ira, so just admit the truth and nothing but the truth.”

These are the most agonizing words I have ever heard come out of people’s mouths in my life.

Why do people have to ruin dreams?

Why do people have to be greedy and selfish?

Why can’t people just learn to be thankful for what they have?

Why do we have Thanksgiving in the first place?

These bastards need to evaluate their lives and be more considerate people.

Approach things from multiple angles.

See through all points of view.

Maybe if people didn’t just judge at the first second they saw somebody, then I would have been able to have my dream come true.

My dream didn’t matter I guess.

It sure felt like it did though.

I was even threatened by that rude and snobby Darius about having to appear in front of his mother.

Like that is really going to fix the problem.

They are related.

Of course Priscilla Newmont would have backed up her son any day, any time, any year.

Every member of the Newmont Family has an absolutely flawless track record.

No rule breaks.

No crimes committed.

All smiles in front of the public eye.

But if they hate you.

Definitely if they are jealous of you.

They will make one of their greatest enemies out of you.

They will turn everyone against you.

I saw the way that man would give the most evil grin to Felix.

It was like absolutely nothing in this whole entire world made sense to me anymore.

Why do the simplest things bother Felix so much?

All of these never ending questions.

Will they be answered?

Or will I stay unaware?

Maybe there will be someone in the Sheridan family line that will solve all of these problems and hiccups.

Not Felix Sheridan, he is my husband but I am seriously doubtful of his problem solving abilities.

Not Ruby Sheridan, with those innocent brown eyes of hers.

Oh I know and believe that my Ruby will try and countlessly be fighting to solve all of these problems.

People prey on innocence.

They definitely trap you with it.

It could catch up to her faster than a spider bite.

Oh but I know she has a spirit of vengeance indeed.

Just like me being her momma, That is absolutely certain.

Sad to say but it won’t be me either because as I am in this current moment right now it has been a few days later since the birth of Ruby.

I am dying.

Death is approaching me as fast as the speed of a cheetah and faster.

Leukemia has caught up to me.

It has become an even bigger nightmare than not having my beautiful red bakery.

You know, My Red Bakery That Never Existed.

I have been bald.

Getting sleepier.

Not wanting to do much here lately.

I thought that it was just the after effects of the birth of our Ruby.

But no, it is much worser than that.

Even scarier than I could have ever imagined or expected death to feel like.

My time on this wonderful planet has come to an end.

The one with the beautiful views of the sunrise in the morning.

The one with those stunning shining stars at night.

Hopefully the afterlife will be rewarding.

I can be in a place where I actually want to be.

Where I am wanted in return.

I just want to be relieved that someday, somehow, someone will solve our twisted family tales.

If I am being completely honest, everybody has had some crazy event or life experience that has happened to them.

But the craziest ones that I have this soul crushing feeling about, The Sheridan Family Life Events.

Ours.

The most chaotic life changing moments.

That either made our lives perfect.

Or completely screwed them up and sailed them into a downward spiral that never ends until the moment you close your eyes for the last time.

Never open them again, and die.

Exactly what I am about to do in this very moment.

Who will that person be?

One of Felix’s parents, Henry Sheridan or Calliope Sheridan.

One of my parents perhaps, Ruby Lovell or Fredrick Lovell.

Maybe even Adele.

But what if?

The person who answers all of the questions.

Matches all of the puzzle pieces together perfectly.

Makes everything make sense again.

Could possibly be someone who is not related to the Sheridan’s?

Maybe someone who is completely unexpected?

The weirdest thing could happen?

Perhaps?

There could be a good Newmont family member?

That would actually fix everything for good.

I have no idea though.

Let me hope that it will be one of us.

But that in the very and complete worst that it could be a Newmont.

I’ve had some time to reflect on everything that has happened in my life recently.

Most of my secrets will be safely hidden forever and always for an eternity.

What I can say is that more than at least a thousand words that I have carefully crafted and perfected to the maximum core level.

Stating what I don’t want to say but need to say

The world says that it is inevitable.

I have seen this theory come true with my own experiences.

Seeing it even with my own eyes, I agree with this wholeheartedly.

Secrets will get exposed.

Maybe not all of them.

Definitely the life changing ones at least.

For example if the secret is “I stole a dollar when I was five years old to go buy myself some apple juice from the local market”.

You definitely have a higher chance of taking that one to the grave.

But these ones, I am extremely doubtful.

“I killed and murdered owner of the other local bakery in Birnam Scotland”.

“I also knew that I wasn’t worthy enough for my husband.”

“I knew the moment that I had the second born child of our family.”

Who knows.

That could have been me saying those words.

However, because it is a secret, right?

It could have been a lot of people.

But the point is even if people don’t have the answers to everything, they probably just have to think outside the box.

Finding out what they want to know slowly but surely.

Think smarter not harder.

If there are butterflies in your stomach and you feel so nervous that you just want to curl up in a ball and hide like a scaredy cat, you are probably catching on.

The answers to our questions can be answered out of nowhere.

Like those absolutely shockingly unexpected twists that people on the edge of their seats feel things that they shouldn’t.

There was this book that I was never able to read to Ruby but I would have loved to.

Sherlock Holmes was the name of the book character.

There would have been many good life lessons about things not to do.

Maybe things that people should do as well.

I will say this last thing as I feel my body shutting down, and turning off.

Running out of batteries, and the electricity for the batteries to work.

My name is Ira Sheridan and I will never ever outwardly admit my faults.

I will never, ever speak bad about my family.

But if you just open your eyes.

Looking in a different direction.

You could find out whatever it is that sparked your curiosity in the first place.

If I did it or didn’t do it.

If you consider it a crime or not a crime.

Depends on how what I said is interpreted.

Then however you perceive it will be your answer.

I am not outwardly admitting it.

I will admit since this isn’t a secret, that my Ruby Sheridan will be a brilliant person.

She will be brilliant in her own unique, and special way.

Now I die with my dream of My Red Bakery That Never Existed.

Eyes closed.

Pronounced at 3:48 AM on October 15th, 1893.

Dead.