Confession

Ailee: how can I take over this situation, I can’t clearly to think about you, because I really not have feeling special about you.

Kuto: aille just look into my eyes, I love you and just that line, I just want you to know about my feelings, I'm sorry that surprised you earlier, maybe I was wrong to admit it in front of prof. but my feelings are not just love for friends, you know it's about you, and I don't love you for anything in return.

Ailee: I even can’t imagine you make confession twice like this, sorry kuto. You know about my trauma for falling in love with someone can make me like crave pity. I always alone every year in my life, just about work and career just it.

Kuto: please ailee, don’t confused like this, I’m sorry. I just want you to know and I just don't want prof.Y to take you away from me. Please ailee look at me. I love you

Ailee: kuto, go away from me (take my eyes off kuto)

Kuto: okay, if this is what you want, I hope to see you in class until the end of this semester.

(phone ring), yes prof.Y, Yes, regarding the seminar earlier, I will postpone and reschedule what I left behind. Okay I glad can help you tomorrow. See you. (end of call).

(looks at the quiet room after Kuto leaves, ailee walks towards the mirror) what i said to kuto before was cruel, i didnt even see his face, this really confused me, i have to go to a psychologist. I haven't consulted about this in a long time.

one week later.

doc: You know what fear is, maybe you haven't been honest with yourself about your feelings, this is not just Ailee's past trauma, you should be aware of your current world, this is when I talk to you now. you have to deal with it, I suggest you meet Kuto soon, admit everything you haven't stated

Ailee: (quiet), okay doc. I will try.

Ailee just lay lazing in her new house for days, only moving around when there was work on campus without meeting colleagues and other close friends, suddenly the cellphone rang in the living room

Ailee: halo prof.Y

Prof.Y: halo aille how are you, what do you do now?

Ailee: ya prof.Y, long time no see you, know I’am good just do it daily activity in campus, teaching, busy with another college student, with seminar and make journal.

Prof.Y: wow, is just like you. I'm so happy to hear your voice now.

Ailee: (silent, smile)

Prof.Y: ailee, I really miss someone like you in this campus, even for 3 months no one has replaced you now because I never agreed to your sudden resignation. for that, I want to meet you tomorrow, I will not accept your excuse or absence tomorrow, I will wait for you in my office until 11 pm.

Ailee: prof.Y sorry I …. (end of call).

Whatttt… what can I do now??? it seems prof.Y is very angry with me because I left without saying goodbye to him, leaving only a letter of resignation. what i will say tomorrow to prof.Y, he must be upset now that i haven't called him at all after 3 months.

Okay, I will buy a train ticket for departure at 05.00 am.

(train noise), Could it be that I accidentally met Kuto later on campus? surely he would be very surprised if this happened. I will pass through the campus park road to get to Prof Y's office without having to meet Kuto later. I hope today will be as calm as I thought.

Exactly at 07.00 am the train stops at the city center station which is directly opposite the famous campus, the distance is only about 200m. ailee walks slowly while looking straight at the campus very carefully. and when he arrived at the door of Prof. Y's office, he knocked twice, then…

Yes, come in…

Ailee: (while closing his eyes and slowly opening his eyes and looking at prof.Y's desk) what are doing in here? (ask in a loud voice).

Kuto: (smile look into the eyes of ailee, and immediately stand up from the sofa he was sitting on), ailee… Finally after 3 full moons I can meet you, I'm not even wearing the clothes you like now. I am very happy to meet you.

Ailee: kuto, hmmmm I just wanna to meet prof.Y right now.

Kuto: yes I know, and prof.Y calling me last night for wait the office for a day because he have a guest. And I didn’t know it is you.

Ailee: you know is not the same as it was, I can’t meet you right now. (while calling prof. Y)

Kuto: you calling prof.Y, he can’t because he has a flight this time.

Ailee: whattt are you talking about? He promise to waiting me for a day, and now while I’am arrive in this office just about this moment? Are you kidding me?

Kuto: are you still mad at me ailee, or now you seem to hate me.

Ailee: NO…

Kuto: so what? I even kept my promise not to see you and you know when you suddenly left campus, I thought you were kidding about it. I searched for you by asking all campuses in this city, and you really disappeared from me, I think it was a big disaster for me. I miss you so much Ailee...

Ailee: sorry kuto about your feelings. (while holding back tears)

Kuto: ailee, this is the last semester I will be on this campus, I beg you to return to teaching in my class, I will assume yesterday's incident never happened, you know I am a person who always keeps my promises.

Ailee: I can’t kuto, sorry. I feel like I want to get out of this situation immediately kuto, goodbye…

Kuto: wait ailee… just listen me at this moment, okay. For now I don't even know you, this isn't what you used to be, it's not like this you should treat me.

Ailee: kuto I just wanna say thank you for loving me, I just need a breathe for this time. Just it.

Kuto approached Ailee, then looked into her eyes, only the sound of the clock ticking could be heard in the office.

End.