Driving Distraction

As she started to pull out of the multi storey car park, the song began to play on the radio. It wasn’t that she didn’t like it, in fact it was one of her favourites. The only problem was that it reminded her too much of the good times. The music bathed her in warm memories. She wanted to be able to close her eyes and let those memories wash over her, taking her away from the weariness of the guilt that engulfed her daily.

Stop it! She needed to concentrate on her drive home. She pressed the button to tune in to another radio station. This one was playing rock music. She wasn’t particularly a fan, but at least the beat was good. She turned it up even louder, trying to drown out the thoughts in her head. She concentrated on the rain lashing against the windscreen.

There had been no problems today. The interviews for the new staff had gone well. The decision on who should be offered the job to replace her was straightforward and she had felt good ringing the successful applicant to tell him the news. She couldn’t wait for the end of the month when she had worked her notice and could leave.

 In the afternoon everyone was chattering about what they would do over the weekend. The young people were planning drunken nights out, the ones with families were talking about horse riding, football and swimming. Fridays were always so difficult, everyone filled with excitement for their two days off. She told them sadly that she would be at home on her own, waiting and hoping, just as she did most other weekends.

Initially the waiting had been hopeful and positive. Then in time it had become angry and bitter. How could he just walk out and leave her without saying a word? She thought she had been a good wife. She had worked full time but kept a good house. She made sure that she stayed fit, dressed well and wasn’t too high maintenance. Their sex life had been great. Not as exciting as it had been in the early days, but it had been a good ten years. Then one day, without warning, he was gone. She told the Police exactly that. No note. No indication that there was anything wrong. To all intents and purposes, he had disappeared off the face of the earth. She reported him missing almost immediately, explaining that it was entirely out of character.

The police weren’t interested at first. They said it was common for men of his age to have a bit of a mid-life crisis and he would turn up, probably with a sports car or a younger woman. After a few weeks, though she went back to the Police Station and told them he had not returned. No money had been taken from his account, no clothes had been moved and his passport was still in his top drawer.

Eventually, a young officer on the desk took a missing person report but didn’t seem all that worried. They reassured her that he was probably fine. Later this turned into speculation in the local press that he was depressed and was probably living rough somewhere or had started a whole new life with some other woman or possibly even a man. No one really seemed interested in looking for him. How was it possible for a grown man to evaporate into thin air without anyone batting an eyelid?

Each time a newsreader announced that a body had been found, she could hear the blood rushing in her ears and her heart thudding in her chest. It was relief each time the body was identified as someone else. She would feel a pang of sympathy for the family, but then go back to feeling sorry for herself and carried on waiting.

Someone was honking their horn behind her. Immediately she realised that the traffic lights had turned to green. She had not been concentrating on her driving and had drifted off into her own world. She waved an apologetic hand at the driver behind her and set off through the lights. No matter how hard she tried her thoughts always wandered when she was alone. A constant barrage of whys and what ifs. No amount of wishing and wondering ever gave her any peace.

She continued her journey, making a conscious decision to sing along to the rock music to keep her focused. It worked well and before long she was pulling into the new housing estate where she lived. She drove slowly to the end of the drive, pressed the remote for the automatic gate and then cautiously reversed up the drive. She didn’t want to damage the car; it was only three months old and it had cost her a fortune. She’d had to wait for seven years before he could legally be pronounced dead. Seven years of waiting patiently, wondering whether there would be any news. Then she had been able to claim the life insurance. Luckily, he had been well insured. She’d always taken care of that kind of thing as he had no financial knowledge whatsoever.

She reached into the back of the car and picked her new designer handbag up from the seat. She smiled as she saw the tickets for the world cruise tucked neatly inside. She took her house keys out and turned towards the front door.

It was then that she saw the Police car pulling up outside her house, followed by an unmarked car, which she knew was also the Police. Her heart sank, a sudden feeling of panic and the overwhelming desire to vomit. Breathe, just breathe! She knew that this day would come, it was inevitable. Her breath was coming in short gasps, her throat was dry, her top lip was stuck to her teeth.

The uniformed officers stepped out of their car first and stood in the drive, shuffling uncomfortably. Two detectives then got out of the unmarked car, a young male and an older female.

“Mrs Lavery, can we come inside” asked the young man.

She nodded, unable to speak as she opened the door and stepped to one side.

“You might want to sit down” said the female detective.

She felt the colour drain from her face. “No, I’m fine, just tell me why you’re here”

Then the female detective said the words that she had been waiting for, but hoped she would never hear, “Mrs Janet Lavery, I am arresting you on suspicion of the murder of your husband David Lavery”