I AM SORRY AVA

2 years back

Alex’s P.O.V

The sea was furious that day. High tides and waves crashed over the land submerging them. I was scared. Everybody was scared. For what was to happen next, none knew. Mostly, nobody knew why it was happening. East Sea has never roared like this. Its pale blue water contained with seaweed and lichens scattered all over, pressurizing the land. It would take months to clean the mess, even though everybody would be helping in. There will be someone to lead them to do it. Just like, how she lead us into it. 

We never knew what was before us, for we trusted her for who she is and what she did. But this was different. I never wanted to join her, when she knocked on the door that morning. Her grey eyes were always drawn into a crescent when she smiled. It was hard to resist her, so I never said no to anything she wanted me to do. But if I knew what laid ahead of me, I wouldn’t have gone. Her hair had unusual white streaks and her hands looked almost fifty. Pink and wrinkled. What happened? But her smile remained on her face just like how I remember. It never changed.

‘’Alex, I want you to come with me,” she said, her sweet voice filled with genuine kindness.

‘’Where off to?’’

“East Sea,” she said, still smiling “It’s not so far you know”

“The Sea?’

She nodded tucking one of the loose strands of her hair behind her ears. “You joining us?”

It took me a moment to register who she was talking about. Behind her, a small boy, a year younger than her, who was also her brother, looked at me with his innocent grey eyes. I haven’t talked to him ever in my life. Not because I never wanted to. Eddie was a really quiet and shy in person. He loved reading and he had better knowledge than any of us in the neighborhood. Mostly, he was very sweet. He wouldn’t talk or laugh, but he would always help. I loved that little guy, even though I never knew him so well. 

“I would love to,” I said, though I was not interested in going out on Sunday Mornings. I had homework to do and a lot of stuff to study. But when I looked at Eddie, his eyes fixed on mine, I couldn’t make up an excuse. “I’ll get ready. I will join you guys on the way, you don’t have to wait for me’’

“Alright,’’ she said happily ‘’Ella, Lucas and Nico are also joining us”

“Really?” I said “I better get ready soon then”

With that I bid her a goodbye, even though I should have warned her that the waves were strong, according to the forecasts that day. But I didn’t. And that’s all that I regret to this day.

Ella’s P.O.V

I loved the East Sea. Until two years back, the day when Eddie died. 

A Sunday Morning, the sky was clear, the sea was calm and composed, the birds chirruping on the tree branches. I wanted to be with Nico so badly, that’s the only reason I ever joined the team. I never went hiking or kayaking in the East Side, even if ninety-nine percent of the population has already done that. I was more of an indoor person, just like my mom. I loved spending my time with my family. I had always been an honest person. No matter what happened, I would never lie. But this was different.

Nico and Alex was late that day. Lucas, Ava, Eddie, and I were together on our way to the East Sea. At times, we would turn back to see if Alex or Nico happened to becoming, but nothing like that happened. Some times I think, maybe it was a good thing that they were late, so they didn’t have to take the blame for themselves. But even if I thought of it that way, they didn’t. They still say it is their fault. Even if, she was the real reason why, and we all differentiated it among ourselves the whole burden. 

“How many times have you been here?’’ Lucas asked as we reached our destination

Assuming the question was for meant for me, I told him “Two times. Once when I was three, and then on my ninth birthday”

“Oh...it’s my first time here’’ Lucas said 

“Really?’’ I asked surprised. Because anyone from East Side has definitely gone to visit the Sea at least once in their life “How come you never?’’

“I just…..never felt like going outside,” he said sadness filled in his voice. I wanted to ask why, though it was pretty clear. His mother has been sick ever since he was born, his dad left him when he was just six. He always wanted to go outside and play like all other kids, but he could never leave his mom alone. But now, his grandmother, who was his Dad’s mother, took care of him and his mom. She was a seventy-year-old woman who was very kind. 

“So..where is Ava?,” he asked after a wave of silence washed over.

I looked around to find him right. We were so seemingly lost in our own world and the beautiful open see in front us that we forgot about the rest. “That’s right. And Eddie too”

I swear at that time I felt my heart skip a beat. Even if I didn’t know why I was worried over two siblings, one who was older enough to take care of herself, and the younger one who was under his sister’s protection.

“I will go check on them,” Lucas said “You wait here” and then he left.

I should have gone with him that day. Because, if I knew what laid ahead of me, I would have never given rise to a murderer.

Lucas’s P.O.V

Ava was my first best friend. But I regret that I ever talked to someone like her.

It was a Winter morning, days shorter than nights, cool breeze sweeping past me. I was exhausted. I didn’t have enough sleep the previous night. My mom had a severe fever and migraine. Under normal circumstances Nana would take care of her, but Migraine was the worst. The pain was concentrated in the brain and she would scream. It hurt me so much to hear her scream. She would hit her head countless times on the wall so that she divert the pain from her head to somewhere she could control it. I hated seeing it. But she was my mother, and I loved her. 

I agreed to go to the East Sea because I felt like I needed a diversion. Away from mom and a house which only gives me bad memories of my dad. I had never been to the sea ever in my life other than that day. Even though most of the kids of my age had already gone to the Sea when they were younger. So I happily agreed when Ava called me that day, asking me to join her, along with her brother. On the way, Ava asked Ella to join us too. Ella is my cousin. Though we were born in the same month, only five days apart, making her older than me, she still acts younger.  

After we reached the East Sea, I took a moment to free myself from my thoughts and look at the beautiful sea in front of us. But quite after a while I was talking with Ella and I noticed the absence of Ava and Eddie.

“So..where is Ava?,” 

“That’s right. And Eddie too” Ella said after a moment of silence.

I observed that Ella was starting to look worried. Her eyes kept shifting uneasily.

“I will go check on them,” I said, snapping her out of her thoughts “You wait here” and then I set off to the west.

“Ava,” I screamed at the empty land ahead of me. Nothing. Not even an echo called back. Where was she? “Ava,” I tried again. But nothing. Just then, I saw the silhouette of two people, on top of the cliff overlooking the sea. My eyes were clear enough to see that. “Ava!” I called at the top of my lungs. But she didn’t hear. The cliff was a man-made one with a grass staircase, leading to the top. I wondered what they were doing there.

I waved at Ava, spreading both my arms. “Ava!” I called her again. Then she saw me. She saw me waving. “Wait there!” I screamed. She didn’t hear me for sure. But I ran towards the cliff’s stair and started climbing them one by one. By the time I reached the top, I saw Ava looking at me with confused eyes.

“What happened, Luca?” she asked, her voice concerned. Little Eddie stood behind her, hiding.

“Uh..nothing,” I said “I just came to check on you guys”

“Oh, now that you are here,” she said happily “why don’t you look the view from here?”

I knew it was dangerous. But still, I didn’t say anything. I moved towards the peak and looked at the East Sea that was glimmering in the sunlight. “Wow….it’s beautiful”

“I know right!” she gleamed, which was kind of cute. “Eddie and I always come here to watch the sea” and then she kept looking ahead without any apparent change in her emotion. Her eyes were the prettiest. Should I? Was the only question I could ask myself. I mean, I liked her but not like obsessed. But still, I wanted to say something. 

I walked two steps to where she was and leaned closer. What was I doing? Just then, Eddie tugged on Ava’s skirt. I felt kind of annoyed by what he did. So I went ahead and asked him “What do you want?” I meant to say it softly, but it came out like a command. 

Eddie looked at me silently. He looked like he was studying me. But then, without saying anything, he turned his back on me and went ahead to look at the sea. What was he trying to convey? I’ll never know. Because to this day, I regret what I said. I should not have offended anyone. He was a year younger than me, but he looked like he was way younger than me. I always wished I could take back what I said, but what once said is said. 

It was the first time I had ever been to the East Sea. And that was the last time.

Nico’s P.O.V

By the time we reached he had already been gone.

Ava came over to my house the first time after three weeks. Though I had many questions pending to ask her, I just kept quiet.

“Hey….” She said, her lips pressed together.

“What do you want?” I asked her and I’ll admit it was rude. But I hated her for who she was. She was insane and psychotic. 

“Well….I was wondering if you wanted to join us to the Sea,’’ she said, her unusually sweet voice reflecting awkwardness. 

“Us?”

“Me, Eddie and the others,” she smiled carefully, because she knew it wouldn’t work with me.

“Well…,” I didn’t know if I should have joined her. But somewhere along inside my heart, I knew I did. Mostly because, given her character, she would have done something. Something that is completely contrasting to what others saw her like. And I didn’t want anyone to know that. Not because I cared about her, but because I wanted to save others.

“Ok…,’’ I said “I’ll tag along. But right now I am busy, I’ll join you on your way” And that was it. I didn’t want to be with her. But to this today, I still regret that I didn’t join her on her way. I took my time. Because I thought I will show her I don’t live by her rules. 

But I was wrong. I should have known that she would do something to defy me. But I never knew she would do that by hurting Eddie. But now everything makes sense. She killed her own twin sister when she was nine. Anna was the complete opposite of Ava. She was sweet, she cared about everybody, she wasn’t insane. Nobody knew how Anna died. Nobody except me, Ava and God. And I don’t think anybody will ever. But I was wrong. Eddie was an eye witness. If I knew she was going to hurt Eddie to keep the secret dead, then I would have saved Eddie. I shouldn’t have let her go. I should have never. 

Alex tagged along with me on my way to East Side. We weren’t great friends. But I shared almost everything that had happened to me to him. And he wouldn’t judge me on what I did, but he was a good listener. I liked him and trusted him. But I don’t trust him to keep the secret between me and Ava. 

By the time we reached, talking slowly and quietly, the only thing that we saw was Ella screaming and running towards us. Her face was a mess. Her tears streamed down without a stop. 

“What happened?” Alex asked her, but she kept crying loudly.

Then realisation hit me like a meteorite. “No….she didn’t….” and before I knew it I was running. There would only be one place where she could have taken him to all eternity. I traced the silhouette of two figures. One was Ava, the other was Lucas, I knew for sure. Then where is he….

“WHERE IS HE???!!” I screamed and that was it. Waves crashed the land. Tides were rising up and I knew it was not the right moment to cry, or scream, or hate anybody. The storm that hit the sea that day was the worst one I had ever seen. None of us talked again after the incident. Two years have gone by since it had happened. To this day, none of us has revealed what had happened that day. 

Where was Eddie. Nothing. No answer. Our lips were sealed. 

Unknown P.O.V

Eddie died when I was twelve and he an eleven.

It was unexpected, and nobody saw that coming. Mainly because Eddie was a quiet, book-loving weirdo. His soft grey eyes were always fixed on something. He could never get over the fascination he had for the universe. Every night, he would sit on top of a huge rock, near our small, quaint, and irregular house, his eyes lost in the vast expanse of the infinite sky blessed with shimmering celestial members of the galaxy. His smile was the best of all. Whenever the cold breeze of the evening wind hit him, he always felt tickled. He wouldn’t laugh, but he would smile, his rosy lips drawn to a beautiful smile, and that was enough reason for me to be happy that day. Nobody cared about him the way I did. So his death affected me the most. Though I am the very reason he is not here anymore. And nobody would believe when I say, I let him die. I shouldn’t have taken him to the Sea that day. I knew he loved me, but what was going through my head that day, I don’t know it myself.

I am the very reason nobody talks to me anymore. I am the very reason nobody knows why Eddie is no longer here. I am the reason for the chaos that had happened. I did it. And I am sorry. Ever since I had killed the real Ava, and pretended to be Ava, when I was all along Anna, I never had a good life as I expected. And I regret that I ever did it. 

I killed my sister and my brother.

I am sorry Eddie.

And, I am sorry Ava.