Parking Lot

A low rumble aches in my stomach, my head starts to throb. The pangs of hunger are interrupting my thoughts. As my foot slowly comes off the break, the red light flashing in my face indicates that I have to press down again after having just released. It’s dark out but the crimson light’s brightness stings my eyes. An ant’s pace. Traffic is moving so slowly that I try everything to keep my mind occupied. It’s a parking lot. Rumble in my abdomen again. Drops of rain plop on my windshield and the wiper comes every five seconds to push them away.

I turn up the volume on my radio. My God, why haven’t I programed my phone to connect with my speaker yet? Intrusive thoughts. Self-deprecating thoughts about how I’m not tech savvy enough but I’m not going to ask my ex to help me out. I don’t need him anymore for anything. There are only three radio stations that I’ve pre-set so I press the number one button. Christmas music. Listening to Christmas music too early in the season has made me grow tired of it. I press the number two button- The Beastie Boys. No thank you. I press number three- The Weeknd. This’ll do. Red lights go away, my foot lifts. Red lights appear and the foot goes back down.

As my car crawls inch by inch, I see a standing figure. Squinting my eyes through the rain, the image gets closer. Dressed in white and wearing an unusual white hat, I notice this figure walking closer to my car. The blade of the wiper swipes away more rain on my windshield and the figure becomes clearer. It’s a man. He’s holding something in one arm but I can’t make out what it is. He stops at the car in front of me and the driver rolls down the window. I can’t hear what they are saying but it appears to be a friendly exchange. My heart starts to race as I rehearse what to say if he stops at my window. Damn my generalized anxiety disorder!

He takes seven steps and stops at my window. Heart is pounding. Breathing is shallow. He indicates that I must roll my window down with an eerie grin. I push my window button down for half a second so that there is a crack of air between me and the man with the smile. He starts talking to me and I freeze up. Not knowing what to say, all my body can manage to do is feebly hold up my finger and point at the thing on his arm. As he nods and walks away, I quickly roll my window back up and steady my breathing. My car rolls forward and the man walks behind my car until he disappears.

Then the smell hits me. Opening my window must have let some air in. What is that smell? Onions? My stomach rumbles loudly as I pray for traffic to go faster. Foot lifts and car inches closer. I look around and all I see are palm trees. I try to focus on the car in front of me. Red light, no light, red light, hold.

This time, the car in front of me holds for a while. I have time to browse through my phone, right? I pick up my phone and rest it on my steering wheel so that the red lights are in my periphery. Opening Instagram, I see that my ex has posted a story. Why do I still follow him? He has the ability to view that I’ve looked at his story and I don’t want to give him the satisfaction. I decide to skip his story but allow myself to browse through the others. My sister has posted the first snow of the season with her kids. Mai has posted her Instagram-worthy food. Erin is on yet another vacation in the mountains. Ad. Ad. I swipe past Tom’s story, swipe past Jenny, Matt, and Joe. Ad. Another ad. I see a familiar face. I lean in to look closer. It’s my best friend and she’s with a guy. Who is the guy? She doesn’t have an Instagram account. Whose account is this? I put my thumb on the screen to pause the news feed and I look at the account profile picture in the corner of the screen. It’s my ex’s account! I drop the phone and gasp. The phone falls between the center console and my seat. As my arm frantically reaches into the lower depths of my car, I hear a loud horn. Jumping in my seat, I look up and notice that there is a large gap between my car and the one in front of me. I wave, apologize loudly (well aware that no one will hear me say it), and take my foot off the brake.

Another figure approaches as I slowly roll forward. The narrow path that I’m on doesn’t allow me to veer off into another direction. Heart starts pounding again, breathing is faster. I roll my window down again. This time, it’s a woman and she’s asking me for money. She’s also wearing white and an unusual hat. What’s with these hats? I pull out my wallet and hand her some loose bills. She takes the money from my hand and gives the same smile that the first man who came to my window gave me. She hands me a small piece of white paper with lots of numbers. I take a quick glimpse at it and toss it on the floor of my car.

Glancing at the car in front of me, I notice that the traffic will be cleared once this car moves forward just a little bit. Up ahead, I see a third person in a white hat. It’s another woman. I roll the window down and she hands me a white bag. I take the bag and breathe in. The aroma that I smelled earlier has intensified in my car. I peek in the bag and I witness my double double, animal style with fries in all of its glory. Stomach is grumbling loudly. I look up and there are no more red lights. There’s no more traffic. I drive away.