Late in the Afternoon on a Sunday

Late in the Afternoon on a Sunday

"There is no time in the day, or in the week, or in the year, to grasp all the knowledge that is underneath the sun, no time to practice and hone all the skills valuable and useful in this world, no time, no, not nearly enough. Everyone always says, and I said it along with them, mind you, that time seems to pass faster as you age. The time you live, I suppose, or at least supposed, for I am having doubts about this assessment, is shorter in relation to that which you have already lived, which accounts for the quickening experience. But I am not so sure anymore. I think that is it because we stop finding newness in the world, and it is awe and wonder that will push and pull with your sense of time, like a rubato in a great symphony by Mozart or Schubert or any of the other great composers.

"I remember as a child going to the zoo to see animals, and they were animals, at least very many of them, that I had never seen before. Never seen before! The only new animals I see now are on the television or in the magazines, when a researcher in...I don't know, the amazon or someplace else in South America or Africa or Asia...regardless, when some researcher comes across an undiscovered bug or insect or critter thing. Honestly, it feels pathetic. Only a specialist, a trained researcher, would be able to notice a difference between such and such a bug and this bug on the window sill...see here? They could take a photo of this bug here and I would be just as interested- not at all, that is.

"I want to forget what giraffes look like. Giraffes and zebras and...oh, lions, for sure. I want to see them again, and not just see them, but see them. Isn't a lions mane so majestic, like a great head of hair, but ringing the neck. It always seems perfectly combed; I am quite jealous, I should say. Ah, but perhaps it is only combed in the photos. I should like to see one in the wild, very much so indeed.

"In fact, I merely want to see the blue skies again, if you understand my meaning. After all, isn't blue such a striking colour? Oh, yes, now it appears so strange, after I stop for a moment and consider it. Where else in nature do you see blue? Well, the ocean of course, but I mean in the wild. A blue flower is a very hard find, and animals with blue on them are always stunning things, aren't they? Like a jewel...oh yes, a sapphire! And look, look at all these people. These middle-aged people walking about. More like greyed people, I might add, greyed in ways I am not. See the brilliant green at their feet; soft too. Grass looks spiky, but it turns out to be soft and squishy and bouncy under your feet. What childish delight we used to take in playing in the grass! But the adults don't look down at it, I never see them look down. What's more, they don't look up either. They ignore this beautiful sapphire dome we have the pleasure to see every day.

"Now, look at them! They look straight ahead. Not up and not down, just straight ahead like their neck is tight and stiff. Children look up and teenagers look down, but these ones can do neither. See here, they can't make eye contact with me! They probably think I'm an old grouch, fed up with the world and all its people. But it's not true. It's not me, it's them! Why do they hate everything around them? Why can't they look me in the eye? The eye is the most colourful part of the body, why is it so hard to look at it, to smile?

"They don't look anyone in the eye. They don't say hello or goodbye, or even a 'how do you do'. It seems that the pavement and the bitumen interests them more than anything else.

"My, I have a sudden urge to write this all down. Oh, but I'm getting very tired...maybe tomorrow, if I remember, and my memory has been quite unpredictable recently. Ah, but tomorrow I have an appointment very early, and another around noon, and I shall be very tired by the end of it all, and will want to take a nap. Then I shall have to do it in the evening...oh but I hate to work in the evenings when I should be relaxing, and this is a kind of work. Well, perhaps the day after. My dear, there really is no time for little things that are hard, or easy things that are long, and especially not for the long and the hard things. Goodness me..."

I muttered off into silence. Seizing the opportunity, Meghan chimed in. "Your tea is getting cold mighty fast, Gerald. Why, it is barely steaming. Anyhow, all this talking must be making your throat parched."

She was correct, my voice had begun to rasp. "Oh dear, I feel that you are quite right." I sipped my tea. It helped. Meghan was very fond of soothing herbal teas, a fancy which I indulged with very little resistance.

I resisted very little nowadays. It was just easier, and I had lost the will-power. I would talk and talk and talk some more, and Meghan, in her own non-resistant fashion, would listen, but I knew that very soon I would leave this world and go someplace else. I was actually quite excited for the change, though I wasn't ready to leave just yet. I had Meghan, I had the kids, I had the grandkids...

I often hear people say 'some things never change'. While I suppose this is true, it is equally true that some things never stay the same. I have found that one of those things, and they are very rare indeed, is people. People are always new. I more and more understand the appeal of a large family.

The sun set, and with the dark came a blowing wind and a dreadful chill. We retreated indoors.