Writing in Love

"Ugh when will you ever write again." Stacy nudges Janessa as she walks over to the fridge to grab a drink because Stacy is like Janessa's sister as they knew each other since childhood. Janessa has always been antisocial and even more since her mom died the beginning of freshman year not to mention it is only the middle of the year which was really hard on Janessa. Janessa started writing because of her mom and stopped writing because her mom. Every time she typed or wrote she would go into this dark place where the words would be all jumbled and she would get stuck on a word. Every word was another pain in her heart and a lump in her throat as all she could think about was her mom. Now Stacy was a wild child she always wanted to party and go with any boy she could find so as you can tell rumors fly around. Now there was one person that she talked to other than her best friend Stacy and that was Jack, another childhood friend who used to be best of friends with Stacy and Janessa, but he got busy with soccer and being popular. Janessa had always had a crush on Jack but she was too shy to tell him and there was on secret that would ruin it all. Stacy and Jack were together, in secret, only to protect the feelings of Janessa which they knew would ruin her since her mom had passed away recently. It was Friday when Stacy had gone over to Janessa’s house as she always did. Stacy’s mom was always drunk because Stacy’s dad left her when she was little so Stacy liked to go to Janessa’s house to escape. It was only Janessa and her father who was always at work so it was quite peaceful. Besides the point Stacy was over at Janessa’s house when Janessa saw a message on Stacy’s phone and guessed who it was, Jack with the little heart eye emoji and two red hearts. “When is our next date my love,” Janessa read as tears started to form as fast as the lump in her throat. Stacy came back from the bathroom to find Janessa crying, looking at the messages between her and Jack. Stacy wanted to say, “I wanted to tell you but I didn’t want to hurt your feelings,” but instead she said, no yelled, “WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY MESSAGES.” Janessa wanted to say, “ how could you, you knew I liked him,” but all she could say was, “it popped up, I got curious, but it’s okay I am happy for you.” She said this with tears streaming down her face like an endless river, for Janessa she thought the pain would never end. Stacy just left. She took her phone and left back to her house because she was so filled with anger and pain that she had caused Janessa, mad at Jack for even dating her in the first place. She had only been with a bunch of guys to cover it up. “Why does she get to be the victim, I am clearly the one struggling, struggling to keep up with her new pain, her new things that she does and doesn’t want to do.” Stacy thought this to herself as she cried on the way to her house. The next day, Stacy and Janessa went to school alone, and even worse Jack tried to say “good morning” to Janessa but she just walked past him like a stranger, doing the same to Stacy. Now when Jack had asked Stacy, Stacy also walked past him so Jack was troubled until he found out about the fight. Now there has been some other guy that had liked Janessa for a while like she liked Jack but he only spoke to her once. He saw this as a perfect opportunity to speak to her. He bumped into her saying, “Oh my gosh sorry I did not see you there,” after he laughed uncomfortably to which Janessa replies, almost crying since what happened last night was hard, “no it’s okay I should have watched where I was walking.”  This boy, named Steven, could sense something was wrong so he asked her, “we have a youth group at church today would you want to come?” Janessa bursted out laughing because religion made no sense to her but instantly felt bad so now she HAD to give it a chance. After 7 long periods, 1 long lunch, and 7 long passing periods, it was finally time to go home. Or not. Janessa remembered the youth group and though, “I guess this can’t hurt.” “FORGIVENESS,” was written on the top of the program/study guide and then the pain and regret started to settle in Janessa’s heart. Something kept her there though, and Steven was so happy to see her there so she just had to stay, an hour cannot be that bad. As the service went on, Janessa can feel weight coming down on her shoulder, it made sense but hurt at the same time. After the service, Steven walks up to her and tells her how he felt and she was SHOOK. He then invited her to a Bible study, just with him. Janessa really felt joy and so she said “YES.” How ironic that the next few days Steven and Janessa got really close and not only Janessa and Steven but Janessa and GOD.Janessa even began writing again about God and love which caused her no pain. She soon began to write books for struggling youth. Janessa and Steven became really good friends to the point they were almost dating and it was really good for a moment until at school when they were hanging out, Jack got really jealous even though he was with Stacy which provoked Stacy. “What are you doing with her,” Jack says angrily and looks disgustingly at Steven. Steven replied, “Not messing with her feelings,” which made Jack even more mad. “Great, all the attention is on Janessa now,” Stacy groans as Janessa starts to tear up. Jack starts to throw punches as Steven dodges and Janessa runs out of the cafeteria being chased by Stacy. “What is wrong with you, you haven’t talked to me for over a week,” Stacy yells at Janessa. “It goes both ways, Stacy I have been happy, you hurt me, I forgive you, I found God and Steven, I think it's best if we stay strangers though I wish you the best.” “So now you believe in this sky fairy, what a joke I was only your friend because you had none but I am happy with Jack so go and believe your fairytale all you want.” Stacy left Janessa in tears again until Jack came out to apologize along with Steven so Stacy just left angry. Soon after Jack found God and Stacy was left all alone because he became a part of the friends group even though Janessa and Steven were together. Things were well and then Janessa gets a text from Stacy, “I have cancer and I am terrified..”