Submitted to: Contest #322

The One Race Worth Winning

Written in response to: "Write about the moment a character succeeds (or fails) from the POV of someone close to them."

⭐️ Contest #322 Shortlist!

Drama

My father was a runner. Every day he would wake before the sun rose, and I’d hear the front door click against the frame as he crept out to thunder around the city. He would never whisper goodbye, or kiss our sleeping foreheads. He would simply be gone when the house began to stir. My mother would make us breakfast, get us to school and reliably see us through the day. My father would go straight from his pavement pounding to his very ordinary office job. He would not return until my brother and I were safely back in warm pyjamas and ready to say goodnight. Looking back, I can appreciate the hustle of a working father. But I do wonder whether those few moments before the day began, could have been better spent at home, rather than alone with nothing but gym shorts, sneakers and the sunrise for company.

My happy memories of the man were all born of weekends. He would of course perform his dawn ritual on those rest days as well, but between that and the sporadic Dad duties around the house, he was all ours.

“Francis? What are you doing inside on a day like today!?” He asked one Saturday afternoon, just after my fourteenth birthday.

“I have to study. I have a chemistry test tomorrow.” I explained, turning to see his head poking through a crack in the door.

“Ah, you’re a smart kid, you’ll do great,” He said, having no idea if that were true, “Listen, me and Derek are going out for a run. The weathers perfect! Not too hot, nice cool breeze, I reckon your brother might break his personal best for the park circuit! Why don’t you come with us? You can do the timing…you don’t even have to run…what do ya say, son?”

“I’d love to dad,” I lied, “but this is a really important one. If I do well, I might get onto the summer program and that will really help with college applications in a few years…”

“Ah, right, the extra science classes. Gotcha. Well, if you change your mind? It’s gonna be a good day! I can feel it in my toes!” he said, hurrying back into the hallway and down the stairs, bouncing on the balls of his feet the entire way.

Turning to the bedroom window and looking out, I spied on my father and Derek. They were play fighting and racing down the driveway. It was in that moment that I came to understand. If it didn’t involve running, my father simply wasn’t interested. The way to his heart was through his passion. Something that despite his lower grade average, my brother had figured out far faster than I.

That evenings dinner conversation went as expected.

“You should have seen him, Beth! The boy was like the wind today, completed the full circuit a full five minutes faster than his previous time! Here Son, take another slice of pie. You earned it. Gotta keep that energy up!”

My mother did as she always would when faced with my father’s enthusiastic obsession. She smiled and pandered, in blind support.

“That’s so good, Derek,” she said, “you should be proud of yourself. Well done.”

My brother practically began glowing with the pride of their praise, I swear he grew about an inch that day.

“And how has your day been, Francis? Get that studying done?” My father said, suddenly realising he had not acknowledged me since they had arrived home. I could always see the exact moments he remembered I existed.

“Yeah, I got through all the chapters and read ahead just in case. Did you know the surface res-”

“Good! Good, good,” he said, “let me know how that test goes. Both of you boys have got to keep your grades up! As much as I wish running could pay the bills, you’ll both have to make a living as well.”

“Winning the city marathon will pay a few bills, hey Pa!” Derek shouted, his mouth full of food.

“That it will my boy! Five thousand dollars! Might as well already be in my pocket!”

“Do you really think you’ll win, Dad?’ I asked, really trying to take an interest, “There are thousands of people that participate, some of them professionals…”

“Of course! Don’t you worry lad, I’ve been training for this for years, I know every crack of that pavement. It’s a sure thing, you’ll see!”

The weeks before my fathers marathon passed with increasing focus on the event. I woke several times to him leaving the house even earlier than usual, and when he returned at night, he barely had the energy or attention to say his usual goodnight to us. Often his head was buried in registering for the day, tracking other contenders and scouring maps of the route. To my great relief, Derek did not meet the age restrictions, otherwise our home would have been entirely dominated by the upcoming spectacle. I passed my exams with honours. My report card was pinned to the fridge. It was quickly swallowed by flyers for future running events.

When the big day arrived, I was genuinely excited. Win or lose, by the time we returned home, it would finally be over. My hope was that Dad would return to the normal level of running fanaticism and I might be able to have some kind of normal conversation with him. Still, my feet were loathe to drag my body to the car and then through the crowds to the roadside, right by the finish line. I had barely seen my father all morning, all his preparations had prevented me even being able to say good luck. I could see him on the screens though, having arrived so early that he was starting from the front of the pack. I settled in, sitting on the curb and pulling down my cap against the summer sun. Forced to wait the hours it would take for him to cross the line. I spent much of it studying the tarmac, gaining an understanding for how someone could learn every crack in a sidewalk. Eventually, my over enthusiastic brother and passive mother shook me to attention. The rapid pats to the shoulders and ruffles of hair drew my eyes up to the screens, where I saw my father, powering forward and still comfortably at the front of the line after several hours. I felt a strange surging of pride. He was actually doing it.

The rest of the race held my attention far more readily. Dad’s strong strides never seemed to waver and he consistently held off any contenders of first place. All those mornings began to make more sense to me. His training had been far more intensive and productive than I had ever imagined. It seemed as though, what I had taken for the hobby of a middle aged man, was more like the training of a gifted sportsman. I found myself rising to my feet, fixed to the screen as he approached the last few streets. There were two other runners competing for position just behind him, both looking far more worn down than my father, who acted as if he had just jogged round to the shops rather than run half way across the city. When I spotted him with my own eyes, just a faint outline at the end of the long stretching main street, I found myself cheering.

As the three leaders began sprinting down the last stretch of road, I noticed that one of them began to sway. He was much younger than my Dad, fair skinned and only a few metres behind. The summer sun beating down on my own neck must have been torture against his bare skin. His legs began to buckle and wobble at odd angles, then grow weak, almost pitching him to the ground. With only a few minutes left of the race, he looked as though he was going to pass out and not make it. Gasps and hollers from the crowd sounded as the poor man collapsed against the barrier. Dad, already constantly looking over his shoulder to check their approach, spotted him quickly. His feet slowed, his eyes locking onto the man, and without a thought, he turned around. My father, for whom running was everything. A man who put his sport above sleep, life and family every single day, in a snap decision, gave up his win. My mother gasped, my brother let out an audible ‘no!’ and I watched him, my mouth hanging open. Dad trotted over to the man, placed the weakened competitor’s arm over his shoulder and half dragged him toward the finish line. The third man had already won the marathon, more were passing them constantly and yet my dad heroically assisted this other poor soul to complete the race. He helped that competitor to achieve his dream, at the expense of his own.

The crowd went wild for him. Recordings of the moment were played repeatedly online for years to come, and he was welcomed home by my family as the pillar of everything a good man should be. Yet, I could not help thinking at the time, if he were able to give up that moment of glory for a stranger…why couldn’t he give up a single morning of training to have breakfast with his son? Why couldn’t he have held his tongue for five minutes so that I might share one of my interests? Why couldn’t he have loved me, who found fulfilment in science over track events, as much as a kindred runner? A man he didn’t know from Adam. I feel the guilt of those selfish ideas. But I do not blame myself. It is not wrong to want to be loved by my father, to the same level as someone who regularly wears out sneakers. I’m a grown man now, but I still find myself waiting for him to look at me in the same way that he looked at that man. I hold out hope, that one day he will.

Posted Sep 28, 2025
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40 likes 50 comments

Alexis Araneta
13:26 Oct 10, 2025

Congratulations on the shortlist!! I'm not surprised given this (Plus, Rebecca's red dress story) was my favourite this week. Personally, I'm a bit gutted neither of you won the big prize. But incredible work!

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James Scott
21:07 Oct 10, 2025

Thankyou Alexis! I’m glad you liked it and thought it was win worthy too! I’ll have to go read Rebecca’s one too 😁

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KC Luna
12:33 Oct 10, 2025

This is one of the greatest depictions of a narcissist that I’ve ever seen. Most people would be fooled by this dad’s “heroic” act; they would say that it shows what great character he has. But that’s precisely what the narcissist is after - external validation. Looking good to the outside world is far more important to them than actually being good in a setting where there isn’t an audience. Tell me, which of these behaviors is actually a true reflection of someone’s day-to-day character? The people closest to a narcissist are always collateral damage, right down to the guilt survivors feel for being jealous when they see others receiving the respect they wish they could from the narcissist. Even the dad’s choice to “give up” shows that he’s so afraid of “losing” or “failure” that he self-sabotages. As we know, that’s at the root of narcissism. Well done! Good read!

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Maisie Sutton
14:28 Oct 10, 2025

KC makes a really good point that the father's public choice to help the man in the race is much different than privately paying attention to his own son. Your story captured such depth and quietly painful feelings. Congratulations on the shortlist!

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James Scott
21:05 Oct 10, 2025

Thankyou Maisie! I’m glad you found the complex feelings in this one 😁

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James Scott
21:04 Oct 10, 2025

Thank you KC! You know I wasn’t consciously writing about a narcissist, but you’re right, thats exactly what he is. Great insight, I really appreciate the comment!

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James Scott
21:04 Oct 10, 2025

Thank you KC! You know I wasn’t consciously writing about a narcissist, but you’re right, thats exactly what he is. Great insight, I really appreciate the comment!

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Stevie Burges
10:18 Oct 20, 2025

What a beautifully written and deeply moving story. The pacing and restraint make the ending all the more powerful — that final reflection about wanting to be loved in the same way your father looked at the man he helped really hit home. It’s both heartbreaking and true to life. A gentle, resonant piece that lingers long after reading.

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James Scott
09:31 Oct 22, 2025

Thankyou Stevie! I really appreciate your comments and I’m glad you enjoyed it 😁

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Story Time
18:40 Oct 16, 2025

James, this is one of the best stories I've read on this site in recent memory. You should be very proud.

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James Scott
20:43 Oct 16, 2025

Wow, thankyou story, that’s such a compliment. I really appreciate it!

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Rebecca Buchanan
20:23 Oct 15, 2025

Awesome story if I was surprised to see you on the runner up list it was because you are a winner. You really showed the feelings/priority of the Dad.

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James Scott
00:17 Oct 16, 2025

Thankyou Rebecca 😁

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Kelsey R Davis
18:03 Oct 14, 2025

You’re a natural storyteller. Congrats James.

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James Scott
21:13 Oct 14, 2025

Thankyou so much Kelsey, that’s very kind

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Gloria Arthur
17:53 Oct 14, 2025

Wonderful job on this.

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James Scott
21:13 Oct 14, 2025

Thankyou Gloria!

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Stephen Wallace
14:06 Oct 14, 2025

This was a heart felt story coupled with good writing. I don’t know the full story here, but I find the father to of high standing here. He not only invited his son, but provided an example for his son. The goodwill that he showed, was provided by God or an angel. What a heck of a moment to experience. The ways of the creator are much higher than ours. Likewise, a child thoughts are much more foolish than a parent.

Good story!

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James Scott
21:12 Oct 14, 2025

Thankyou Stephen! It’s so interesting when enough people read the same thing, someone always finds something different! Not my intention or what everyone else saw, but completely valid! It could be a selfish or dramatic son writing and the fathers pov could tell a very different story

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Rikki Harrison
05:07 Oct 14, 2025

Rarely, well, never if Im honest, does a short story bring a tear to my eye. This was both touching and profound, as it prompts the reader to reflect on their own priorities. Well, me anyway...
What a juxtaposition you created with your characters. Please keep writing. Regards Rikki

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James Scott
07:05 Oct 14, 2025

Thankyou so much Riki, that’s kind of you to say! Only on here am I so glad to make people upset! Haha

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Emmaline T
15:38 Oct 13, 2025

Wow! This is a great story, congratulations on making the shortlist! I'd love if you could read over my story I recently posted named Success Was the Failure and give me any feedback if you had the chance.
Great job, I look forward to reading more of your stories!

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James Scott
20:59 Oct 13, 2025

Thankyou Emmaline, I appreciate the read and comment. Of course, I’ll have a look now.

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Boni Woodland
13:47 Oct 13, 2025

James, such thoughtful writing. I found it so familiar having experienced nearly this same scenario in our family life! Your words rang so true, I just nodded along while reading reading- congratulations on the win!

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James Scott
20:58 Oct 13, 2025

Thankyou Boni, I’m sorry you had to experience it, but glad it was realistic enough to resonate.

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John Rutherford
06:54 Oct 11, 2025

Congrats

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James Scott
00:29 Oct 13, 2025

Thanks John!

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Shahzad Ahmad
15:30 Oct 10, 2025

This is so emotional. It is strange to figure out how a man who cares so much about his competitor fails his son's expectations! Maybe the runner has the same passion which the son lacks. Am I right? Anyway keep writing. You are really gifted James.

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James Scott
21:10 Oct 10, 2025

Thanks Shahzad, that’s really kind of you to say!

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Rebecca Hurst
11:52 Oct 10, 2025

So delighted you got shortlisted, James! This is a great story with an unexpected ending, but all the empathy of this piece lies with the child who asks the most pertitent question of them all. Brilliant stuff!

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James Scott
12:25 Oct 10, 2025

Thanks Rebecca!

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Helen A Howard
07:01 Oct 10, 2025

Great feel to this story. Theres a lot of depth to it. Not least, the longing of a son to be noticed by his father. I loved the unexpected result of the race. Your story poses lots of questions which leave the reader thinking after it’s over.

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James Scott
10:43 Oct 10, 2025

Thanks Helen! That’s the dream, for a story to stick with someone!

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Marty B
04:18 Oct 03, 2025

Great descriptions- this is a story about perspective-
of the Sacrifice of the Father- doing good for the struggling runner, of his younger brother who found out how to get in his Dads good graces, and of the crowd- cheering wildly online and in person for the sacrifice.
And of course of Francis, whose perspective is of the son who is neglected as his father doesn't understand him.
Is one perspective right, is one wrong?
Winning is in the eye of the beholder.

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James Scott
13:56 Oct 03, 2025

Thanks for reading Marty and such a keen insight, it really is a matter of where you stand.

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Sara Ross
07:28 Sep 30, 2025

This was beautiful. What an absolute treat to read. Thank you for putting this out there and excellent work.

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James Scott
10:25 Sep 30, 2025

Thank you Sara for such high praise!

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Keba Ghardt
20:25 Sep 28, 2025

Really personal. The stillness of the narrator emphasizes that feeling of being left behind. And a great encapsulation of that conflict, when good men are also bad fathers. Just because someone didn't mean to hurt you doesn't mean you didn't get hurt.

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James Scott
22:38 Sep 28, 2025

Thanks Keba! You have a great way of summarising the themes in stories, spot on as usual.

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Keba Ghardt
10:07 Oct 10, 2025

Congratulations! So glad this aching voice earned some appreciation!

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James Scott
10:34 Oct 10, 2025

Woohoo! Thanks Keba!

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Alexis Araneta
17:47 Sep 28, 2025

Hi, James! What a compelling story. I completely get Francis. It's hard to be praised for your interests but neglected by your family. I love how you present us the other side of those Good Samaritan running stories, the fact that they may be terrible to their family. Lovely work!

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James Scott
22:40 Sep 28, 2025

Hey Alexis! Thankyou! I’m glad this characters struggles spoke to you!

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Mary Bendickson
17:28 Sep 28, 2025

Quietly tear-jerking.🥹

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James Scott
22:44 Sep 28, 2025

Thanks Mary! I’m always glad when my efforts produce tears, haha!

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Mary Bendickson
15:16 Oct 10, 2025

Congrats on the shortlist. Always thrilled when a familiar name is recognized not to mention one of my favorite stories this week that I read. Not reading as much as I used to.

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James Scott
21:09 Oct 10, 2025

Thankyou Mary, I love seeing a name I know in the list aswell, and I also struggle to keep up reading everything I’d like to.

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