Mask On, Mask Off

“We have ten minutes till we have to leave, hun,” he told his wife as he stood at the door patting his foot, waiting.

“Just a minute more, and I will be right there, Lad” she replied.

She sat down to cram her size 9 ½ wide foot into a size 9 narrow pencil heeled shoe, grabbed her Dooney and Burke purse and ran to her husband’s side.

“You are going to make us late, Timmi,” he spat at her.

“I know, and I’m sorry, We will make it on time if we go right now,” she said as she shooed him towards the door.

Arriving right on time, the Lately’s rushed inside the stately house of the Castles. Waiting at the entry stood Richie Castle. He reached for Timmi’s hand, bowed and gave her a peck and welcomed the couple inside.

Timmi glanced around the room as there must have been hundreds who were in attendance for the 50 year anniversary party for Richie and Monica Castle. Timmi looked up to her husband, Lad, and he looked at her with a look of amazement of how many people were already there.

As they entered the ball room of the house, Timmi whispered, “Do you think there will be more coming? Look how many people are here already.”

“Who knows. I know the Castles are well known so it is possible there will be more coming.”

Monica made her way to the Lately’s with a big smile on her face.

“Thank you so much for coming. Richie and I are so glad to see you. Make yourself comfortable. You know where the bar is. Help yourself. Just don’t help yourself too much, Timmi,” she joked.

Timmi walked awkwardly towards the bar as her feet were screaming. They made themselves comfortable and ordered a pina colada for Timmi and rum and coke for Lad.

They were joined by Tabitha, or Tabby, as she was called and her husband, Sol Whatley.

“Long time, no see,” Sol gestured to Lad with a slight hit to his shoulder.

“Hey, big fella,” Lad said back and had to stand up to let the “big fella” pull a stool back from the bar to sit his heavy self down.

“Man, the Castles really know how to throw a party, don’t they?” Sol said rather loudly due to the blaring music.

“Yes, they do,” said Timmi. We’ve been to many of their parties. I see Dr. Caremore and his wife, Lucy, are here. And standing next to the cake table is his lawyer, Drake Always and his wife, Minnie.”

“Yeah, and if you look at the end of the bar you will see Mayor Maury and I don’t know who the lady is with him. Someone new, apparently.”

An hour later:

“We would like for everyone to gather up here in front. We have a surprise for everyone,” shouted Richy. “Monica and I would like for you all to witness us repeat our marriage vows.”

Everyone stood up and gathered in the middle of the ball room to watch the wedding take place as it was rumored they had never been legally married.

“Well, they finally tied the knot legally, didn’t they, Lad?” Timmi whispered.

“Shush Timmi. Someone could hear you,” Lad bent to her ear and whispered.

“I believe Monica has had a brow lift. Her eyes are bugged out as if she has seen a ghost,” Timmi giggled. “I don’t know why she puts on such a false front. Everyone knows.”

“Would you be quiet? I believe Richie might have had something done to his nose,” Lad whispered.

Another hour later:

“Monica, Lad and I will be leaving soon. It was a beautiful ceremony. We just wanted to express how much we enjoyed ourselves and to thank you both for allowing us to be a part of this glorious milestone of 50 years together. You two are a remarkable couple and wish you both many more years as husband and wife,” Timmi said.

Monica wanted to say something snide to Timmi’s remark “as husband and wife” but held it back. Instead she replied, “But the party is just beginning. We wish you would stay till the end,” and grabbed Timmi’s hand and gave a slight squeeze.

“It’s getting late for this old couple, Monica,” Timmi joked and said goodbye to Monica’s back as she was whisked off by her husband.

Timmi and Lad waved to everyone and whispered, “They didn’t even care if we left. I always thought their friendship with us was fake anyway,” Timmi said as they eased themselves to the door.

Lad and Timmi’s thirty minute drive home was a rather quiet ride.

Entering their house, they both rushed upstairs to their bedroom. Falling back onto the bed, deep breaths were released followed by laughter.

“If that wasn’t the fakest party I have ever been to, I don’t know what is. I wanted to laugh so bad the whole time. Didn’t you, Lad? Did you see how painted up Monica was?” as Timmi grabbed a makeup remover tissue and began washing her make-up from her face.

“I couldn’t help but notice,” he laughed. I think Richy might have had some make-up on himself,” he laughed again as he washed the light powder from his face.

“Was he wearing a toupee, tonight?” Timmi asked as she began removing the weaves from her hair.

“I don’t think he had a toupee on, but he might have dyed the gray in his hair,” Lad said as he took the rug off his head, shook it clean and placed it in the sink full of water.

“Oh, and Tabby. For goodness sake, she would not shut up. She was giving me a headache with all that talk about their kids,” Timmi said frustrated.

“I know. She was kind of rude, too, when you showed her the pictures of our kids in their soccer uniforms and them playing ball. I don’t think she and Sol even looked at all thirty pictures of them,” Lad said.

“Lucy Caremore’s shoes were so last year style. You know they can afford shoes for Pete’s sake,” Timmi said as she slung her tight heels into the closet.

“Dr. Caremore looked shorter than usual, didn’t you think?” Lad asked as he removed the lifts from his shoes and placed them inside the shoe box where all his shoes were kept.

“He did look shorter, come to think of it,” Timmi replied.

“Honey, can you come in here and help me get these contacts out. I wore the blue ones so they could match my blue dress and they always irritate me.”

“I will try to help you with them, but I’m not so sure I will be of much help. That is something you will have to do. Why would you wear them when you don’t even wear glasses?”

“They aren’t lenses to help with my vision. They just make my eyes prettier. Never mind, I got them out. I know that lady with the mayor had a boob job. It was so obvious they were fake. I hate fake people,” Timmi said as she placed her spider-like false eyelashes in their tray. She then removed her gel filled bra and draped it over the towel rack in the bathroom.

Timmi grabbed the comb and upon starting to comb her hair, she noticed a fake fingernail had come off sometime in the evening. She looked at all her fingers and started removing each false nail.

She ran the comb through her hair and screeched, “Darn, I missed a weave.”

She walked out of the bathroom and said, “Fifty years together. That’s a long time. Do you think they really get along that well after all those years together?”

“When I play golf with Richy, he has never complained about Monica come to think about it.”

“Do you complain to him about me?”

“I can barely understand you with that mouth piece in your mouth, but no, I would never do that.”

Timmi crawled into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin, wiggled around until she was comfortable and said, “Hun, would you make sure your bathroom light is off in your room? You know how it bothers me.”

Lad walked out of her bedroom, pulled the door closed with a jerk.