Wrecked Fate

I never had many friends, so I didn’t realize I had such a special gift. In my world, everybody had a red string on their finger. As a kid, I never learned what the string led to. That was until my mom starting dating someone new after divorcing my father. I was ten years old when my mother came home with a guy, and their strings were connected. What was strange was their string had been gold. That’s when I reminded myself of the book I read a few days ago about soulmates. “A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner,” the definition of a soulmate. I understood that day that my gift allowed me to connect people to their soulmates. That’s when my life goal became to help people find their soulmate. I just didn’t know how. I was always awkward and shy. I wasn’t an outgoing kid like the rest of my class. I usually stayed inside for recess to read books, and I would sit in the cafeteria all alone. I didn’t mind it. So I decided to shut it down. And from that day on, I learned to ignore the strings. I would pass through them, so it wasn’t hard. I never even looked at my own string. Sometimes I look back and wish I did. It would’ve saved me from the emptiness I would feel in the future. 

Olivia James was the new girl at my school. She was so outgoing and loved to be around people. We were complete opposites. I don’t understand why she decided to approach me on the first day of school. I was sitting in the cafeteria when she sat next to me and started talking to me. I tried to ignore her, but she never stopped talking. I didn’t know how to get rid of her, so I walked away. But that girl is not a quitter. She always walked next to me in the halls and sat next to me in class, and would just talk. At first, I would tune her out, but one day, I started to listen. She spoke about how sometimes she felt her heart race when she looked at a pretty girl, and her hands would sweat. I only paid attention because I’ve felt that way since I turned 11. I knew what it could’ve meant, but I didn’t want to accept it. However, she did rather quickly. On January 5th of my 7th-grade year, she confided in me. 

We were in the girl bathroom when she said, “Luna, I like girls. I’m gay.” I turned to her, and that was the first time I spoke to her properly.

“Really?” was all I said. She looked a mix of happy and scared. Happy because I finally talked to her and was scared of my reaction. She hesitantly nodded, and as soon as she did, I engulfed her in a hug. She cried into my shoulder as I held her.

“It’s okay. Don’t cry. You’re too pretty to cry,” I told her. She backed away and let out a small laugh as she wiped her tears. Her laugh made my heart skip a beat. 

Every day since then, I would talk back to her instead of letting her have a one-sided conversation. On February 23rd, it was my turn to confide in her. Not about my sexuality. Are you crazy? It was way too soon for that. This was about my gift.

“Ever since I was born, I’ve been able to see a red string that connected them to their soulmate,” I said. 

She looked at me, shocked, “Really?” I nodded, and her smile grew. 

“You can do so much with that!” She exclaimed. “You can bring happiness to so many people, Luna.” She never asked about her soulmate. She was so selfless. I miss her. These moments are what make me regret my decisions. Throughout the rest of middle school and half of high school, she would only point couples out and ask me if they were soulmates. Surprisingly, most of the time, they were. But the few times they weren’t, she felt awful and always tried to find a way to make me help her break them up.

“Don’t intervene. You wouldn’t want random strangers in your business,” I told her. 

“I would if it meant I was being saved from heartbreak,” She responded. I could see why she would want to get involved. But everything is done for a reason, so everybody we left alone learned from their past. At least I convinced myself of that. I didn’t need the constant thought that I had ruined somebody’s life. 

I went almost five years letting her think I was straight. But on October 15th of my junior year, I invited her to my house.

“Remember that day in the girl bathroom when we were in 7th grade?” I asked her.

She looked at me slightly confused, “When I came out?” I nodded.

“What about it?” She asked. She really could be oblivious sometimes.

“What if I told you I felt the same way? About girls. You know, being gay.” 

She smiled, “I wouldn’t judge you.”

I looked up from my lap, “Really?” 

She nodded, “Of course. I wouldn’t judge you no matter if you were gay, straight, bisexual, or any of the above.” It warmed my heart knowing I found a girl who cared so much about me.

On November 17th, she rang my doorbell. I opened the door, and she looked the most excited she’s ever been. I looked at her, confused as she walked straight in. 

“Remember when you told me about your gift?” She asked. I nodded, still confused.

“What if you opened a business? You can help people find their soulmates. You can call yourself…” She struggled for a bit, “A relationship psychic? I don’t know. But you would be so successful, and you can help so many people.”

I let out a small laugh, “And how do I even start this so-called business?”

“You can start by promoting yourself at school. You can make an Instagram account and a website, and as soon as you get customers, they can write reviews on your website.”

“You’ve really thought this through, huh?” She nodded. And so that was the day we started my business. That’s what she called it anyway. I liked to refer to it as our business. She helped me out a lot.

I was surprised people believed the fact that I could find their soulmate. Once I got my 10th review from school, I got my first customer who wasn’t someone I went to school with. When I got my 23rd review, people started asking me to travel to see them. Some were even willing to travel to me. I got my mom’s permission to begin traveling, with her, of course. I couldn’t take Olivia with me, though. Around the same time, her mother got sick, and since her father left and didn’t want anything to do with her or her mother, she had to stay to take care of her. So she wished me luck and told me to go without her. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but I was accomplishing my dreams. When I started traveling to Europe, I had just graduated high school, so I spent my whole summer traveling and trying to fulfill everyone’s requests. That’s when I forgot about the person who got me here in the first place.

I started canceling plans with Olivia all the time. I didn’t realize how much I was hurting her. I thought she would’ve been fine without me. She had her mother, and she was a social butterfly, so I was sure she had other friends to talk to. She knocked on my door on July 27th, and that’s when everything changed. 

“Can I talk to you?” She said when I opened the door. I looked at her, confused but nodded. We sat down in the living room, and my heart started to race. She looked upset, and the last thing I wanted to do was upset her.

“Recently, you’ve been off doing your own thing, and I feel like you’ve forgotten about me,” She said. 

I shook my head, “Of course I didn’t forget about you! Why would you even think that? Are you not happy for me?” I wish I hadn't said that. Looking back now, I feel like I can see her heart shattering. 

“Of course I’m happy for you, how can you even say that! I’ve helped you start this business off, and I don’t remember ever hearing a thank you from you. You never even gave me credit for any of the work, and I never even said anything about that!”

“I’ve been busy. I don’t have time-”

She cut me off, “You don’t have time to call your best friend since 7th grade and tell her thank you?”

“Olivia, it’s not like that at all!”

“No. You clearly don’t even care about the way I feel. You’re just selfish.” She was right. I was selfish. We were the complete opposite—the selfless and the selfish. I spent so much of my time trying to help everyone find their soulmate that I didn’t realize mine was in front of me the whole time. And as she walked away, the red string on her finger caught my eye. It broke. I saw the string was relatively short and when I followed the other end of the string with my eyes, all it did was lead back to me.