Horat: The Tarot Of This World

Have you ever had a stare down with the grim reaper, on the brink of death not once, but twice, Crenshaw couldn't believe he'd doubled back and let karma bite him in the ass not two but three times.

He was sure he had his eyes on the prize, until he found himself lying on the coach both in physical and emotional pain due to Silence.

She was long gone, it was 16 weeks and two days since his last intimate encounter with her and there was still no sign of her coming back.. 

No phone calls, no text messages, no appearances. 

He didn’t want to believe she was laid up with someone else and he had not received even a phone call or sign from his beloved twin ray counterpart. 

How could she not be there for him during this time. 

Projecting blame onto her for not being present, made him subject to his own guilt and insecurities backfiring on him, causing him to reflect on how he had been treating her the past two years.

Not picking up the phone, texting back, lying, partying, blowing money, with other women, refusing to go on dates, or treat her right, just f****** up because of he didn’t want to acknowledge she was pregnant by him or even show concern regarding the fact he was on the verge of losing the one and only person who truly ever cared for or loved him for who he was and not for what he had or could do. 

A tear formed in his eyes and one rolled down his right cheek.

 How foolish had he been to not admit how he really felt about her deep down inside, even more cowardly he ran away from the passion he'd ignited and the wall he'd built between them due to his own insecurity, jealousy, and fear surrounding what love should and shouldn't be, is or wasn’t, could, should or would be, instead of just chilling and going with the flow as he had once asked her to do,

To be him, and her who she was and allowed herself to be was too much for him. 

He knew he didn’t want to admit to himself or anyone else what they had done or were about to do.

He was in love like never before, he knew for sure their love would be able to stand the test of time.

 But was that reason sufficient enough for him to keep testing her limits by keeping secrets? 

Sending her through unavoidable pain and mishaps left him and her wounded in the end, which only made him feel even more defeated afterwards.

 After lying there for hours, and allowing himself to daydream, days went by, and he wanted to know more about the future, fantasizIng about her love and how he remembered having his way with her made him want to call her up for a tarot reading.

 He wanted nothing more than to be in her presence, in her arms, in her home, and deep in her womb.

Life didn’t seem fair. 

His love didn’t seem real and he knew when she pondered on things for way too long she had the opportunity to really get to know herself, him as the man she thought she needed to let go of, and the reality of the circumstances they had found themselves in.

Though he had fallen in love with her, she was on the verge of marrying someone else if he didn’t speak up soon.  

 In the beginning, in the back of his mind, he knew she could and would bring so much happiness, peace, love, light, and healing into his world, yet he wasn’t ready to change or embrace her.

Now that she didn’t think it mattered anymore, he didn’t want to lose someone he had fought so hard to attract and keep.

He didn’t want it to be over. 

The pain he felt within him was nothing compared to the pain he knew she felt after being exposed to all of his lies, trickery, deception, manipulation tactics, defeat, and secrets. 

In 10 months she had came into his life and shaken him to his core, so much had changed, and suddenly he felt even she knew things would never be the same. 

Time was expiring.

Had he not initiated the process of letting her go; God wouldn’t have brought her back from the dead.

Twenty One (CXXI) Capricorn World

 Can you be useful and grab the toys? 

What's the point of you being here if you're not going to help?”

 I dropped the box of toys on the countertop and stopped to take a quick breath. 

“Damn that box was heavy,” 

I used the back of my hand to wipe a little bit of sweat off my forehead. 

Silence picked up the rubber duck and playfully waved it in her hand before throwing it back in the box. 

“Y’all should’ve paid somebody else to do this for y’all. Where Raf ass at? I’m not even supposed to be lifting heavy stuff knowing I’m pregnant!”

I tried my best not to laugh.

 “How about I take a cut of your money and use that to employ someone else,"

 I teased her by throwing a rainbow colored dildo the size of a horse’s penis at her. 

 She almost jumped out of her skin.

“Geesh,” She dropped the toy, obviously creeped out by it, “what can a woman do with something that size anyway. If a man has a wand that size, he isn't human!!!!” she shrilled.

“You're right, which is why it belongs to a horse,” I replied jokingly before picking up the dildo and putting it back in the pile of other sex toys. 

I loved my friend to death, but being an Aries, she could act like a spoiled brat sometimes. 

 She wasn't the blame entirely, I played a part too.

She could be clumsy, even a little messy and uneasy sometimes but she didn't deserve the treatment people had given her over the years.

I didn’t know the day I met her, she would become one of my best friends.. 

Only God knows the truth of it all.

“Yoo…” Raf walked into the boutique nd interrupted me before I could finish my sentence. 

 “I’ll meet you on the corner of MLK, drop you off at the spot, then ditch the car. Got it?.

 I smacked my teeth listening to him on the phone.

He rolled his eyes, “not this again.” 

“Excuse me?” shocked at his demeanor.

"Be careful,” he apologized.

“You chose this life. This life didn’t choose you, and I dang sure didn’t choose it for you. You knew the consequences behind it. Hell, you brought me into it, I’m just doing my job and healing too, right now my job is to protect you at all costs,” he kissed my forehead before moving to the side.

He caused me to smile, but grimace at his words; the choices we made choose this life, but I couldn't believe he was trying to call me out.

“I know you don't call yourself reading me,” I nudged his arm with my arm.

“Nah thug, I'm just saying,” he shrugged, “It's something I'll do again if that means protecting you and my roots. Anything for the family right.”

I could understand that, as a family that's what we stood on, so I nodded my head at him. 

He knew what was understood didn't have to be explained. 

For the most part, as a whole, we were solid. 

A bond formed between two people and God that couldn't be broken.

Five years after our friend’s death, we moved to Augusta, GA in hopes of us “starting over". 

From there, we opened up to a whole different world, a new world, one we’d created astrally. 

Being introduced to what was previously known as “The New Age World”, was the best thing for me. 

It potentially changed my life, all of our lives, including my family and social circle.

 I hate we had originally been sent on a dummy mission to destroy the earth and the world.

My perfect husband believed his time was up, and was becoming a liability.

Underground Atlanta was supposed to be used as a means of survival in the beginning, never would I have thought I would be where I am today. 

The highest paid, most influential, successful black woman in Atlanta, GA. 

Being the owner of several private night clubs in the US, a sexy lingerie clothing line, that included a sex toy collection; I made a name for myself last year when I signed a contract to expand Underground Atlanta across the boarder. 

I had less than 2 months before I opened the new and improved Underground Atlanta, although the name would change to Love Underground in honor of Love.

 I felt like the name was more fitting, especially with all the activity that transpired within the clubs, the best way to pay my respects to my dear husband.

 Lord bring peace to his soul.

After my first spiritual awakening, I decided to use his last name after we got married and change my first and middle name to my heavenly name, once I changed my last name to Tutt, that’s what I identified by, burying the person I was before.

 I was so glad to finally be my own person and get out from under the shadow of the notorious one.

I was beautiful, fierce, rich, and powerful with unlimited resources. 

I simply took a risk. 

A risk that has been fulfilling its purpose as intended for what today marks the fourth year. 

I was extremely proud of myself. 

For not only deviating a precise strategy and building a magnificent team, but also doing it completely under the radar four consecutive years. 

I was shocked at how successful we were able to execute everything. 

Five years ago, I would have never thought I would be here, right now, preparing to finish Co-Operation.

“Silence,” He snapped me from my thoughts, “you okay? Can we talk please?”

I folded my arms and nodded my head, “yeah, I’m okay. Thanks, by the way.” 

“For?” he raised his eyebrow with a blank expression on his face. “For saving me,” I responded with much gratitude, “don’t think I ever told you how grateful I am.” It was true, I was very grateful. 

While I made a call to the alarm company to inform them of the false alarm, I thought about what we needed to do next. 

God knows we didn't need the cops snooping around our warehouse.

 It would blow the entire operation, so after that incident we decided to change to a more isolated location and add more security.

“Told you,” he pounded his hand against his chest, “it’s my job.” 

I’ll see you later” He threw up the peace sign and walked out of Sepaga.

“See you later,” I repeated back to him before he walked out of Sepaga`, the lingerie and sex store I, well we, owned.. 

He hopped in the 2022 Burgundy Red and Black Toyota 4Runner I bought him for his birthday with his brothers then sped off.

“God keep them safe and everything according to plan,” was the silent prayer I sent above as I began restocking the store, hanging the lingerie pieces on the mannequin.

Thirty minutes passed by, and my stomach began to rumble. 

It was definitely time for a lunch break.

 I checked the time; it was a quarter past two and decided to take a break and head across the street to the new restaurant Agape's Food And Drink that we’d opened almost a month ago.

 I had been hearing a few people that came through the store and club talk about it, so I thought why not try it out.

 I could smell it from across the street, whenever I came outside the store, and it smelled delicious; from the Facebook pictures I'd seen, if it tasted anything like how it looked and smelled, I couldn't wait to get ahold of the new menu. 

I grabbed my keys to lock up the store, my phone and my purse. I walked out of the store, making sure to lock it behind me, before crossing the street and walking into Agape's. 

Twenty Two (CXXII) Sagittarius Fool

“Hi, welcome to Agape's Food And Drink, will it be to-go or can I get you a table for 1?” The host greeted me as soon as I walked through the door with a pleasant and friendly tone. I was amazed; it was beautiful inside. A one stop shop for all your food, drink, and sweet tooth needs. It was buffet style with endless selections. I couldn't wait to try the food. 

“You know what,” I thought about if I wanted to eat in or take it to go, “I'll just take a seat at the bar,” making eye contact before looking over at the bar. 

“Great,” the host replied in a happy tone, “please follow me,” she instructed me before leading the way. “The buffet has a variety of choices. Drink menus are at the bar, and the desserts are to your far right. If the buffet has too many options for you, and you only want something simple, here's a basic menu for you.” She handed me the tri fold menu. “I particularly like the chicken tuna salad with fresh fruit and the buffalo chicken dip with the restaurant chips. It is being offered at a discounted price this week as the owner is choosing to discontinue it, so if I was you I would definitely try it while supplies last. Your bartender and server tonight will be Kloe`. If you need anything please refer to her.” She flashed me a smile. ”I hope you enjoy your meal today, let me know if you need anything,” was the last thing she said to me before walking back to her station.

“Screwdriver extra shot of orange juice,” the bartender Kloe slid a drink across the bar top to a beautiful woman. Her thick, sandy brown, curly hair was pulled back into a high bun; she had hazel green eyes and wore hoop earrings with a halter black dress. The tattoo above her right shoulder was of a rose with the phrase “For those I love I will sacrifice” written under it, instantly sticking out to me. She looked far from feminine although that’s the manner in which she presented herself. 

I had only been with one female since my transition, and that was my first night attending Love Underground, but something about her beauty had me memorized and for some reason, I felt like I had to have her. 

I walked up and sat two seats down from her, “Screwdriver extra shot of orange juice,” I smiled at Khloe` before pretending to read the menu. 

“Coming right up,” Kloe` responded eagerly. 

“What do you know about a screwdriver with an extra shot of orange juice?” the sweet innocent voice coming from the left of me made me look up from my menu.

“Well, I'm not much of a drinker,” I lied, knowing I could dang well hold my liquor, “however, I like vodka and love orange juice, so I figured I couldn't go wrong with such a basic drink.” I smiled flirtatiously.

The lips the innocent voice came from curled up into a smile, and she parted her lips to speak, “Hey I’m Corinthian, and you are?”,

 I leaned over and extended her hand to me. “Nice to meet you Corinthian, I am Silence ,” I shook her hand, 

Kloe passed me my drink, and I took a sip before pointing across the street at my store. “I own Sepaga’. The intimate boutique across the street. You should stop by sometimes. We have some limited edition items on sale by two for $22.22 get 2 for $11.11. I'm sure you would look nice in anything.” I tried to hide my thirst. 

She smiled at me, “I may just do that. Check please.” She stood up and handed her debit card to Kloe`. 

“How about the next round? I got this one covered.” I pulled my wallet from my purse and handed Kloe a fifty dollar bill. “Keep the change,” I told her. “Any suggestions on what I should try?” I turned my focus back to the beauty in front of me.

She smirked at me, “The chicken tuna salad and fresh fruit is to die for. The buffalo chicken dip with restaurant chips is good too. So tell me Silence, will I see you again??”

“Well Corinthian, if you stop by the store and check out our limited edition selection of items while our sale is going on this week I’m pretty sure you will. I’m in the store all this week; I’ll be on vacation next week,” I smiled then handed her one of my business cards.

She smiled at the card then back at me, “You have yourself a great day Mrs. Tutt.” 

Watching her walk away, I quickly learned the eye which mocks the father and despises the mother must let the raven in the valley watch the young eagle pick out the eye and eat it since it refuses to obey the proverbs.