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American Fiction Funny

            Little Toot

Suzanne Marsh

She was a tiny kitten when we found her, huddling on our stoop one cold January day. We brought her in the apartment, gave her milk and tuna fish. As she began to turn from kitten to cat; she discovered powder sugar donuts. Toot absolute adored those donuts; that was when we discovered that she could unsheathe just one claw, swipe the donuts out of the unsuspecting hand that held it; I was usually her victim. The first time she swiped a donut I thought it was funny. After a while all I had to do was open the box and no matter where she was, she would come running. I began to have a powder sugar donut in the closet thinking it would be safe. Ha! Not quite. That cat, I swear, had built in radar when it came to donuts. My husband and I decided to take a trip to Baltimore, Maryland; my husband’s cousin Maddie consented to watch Toot for the week. Everyone makes mistakes and Maddie had more than her share the week we were gone.

Before we left, I made sure there were several powder sugar donuts for Toot. I had not warned Maddie about Toot and her one claw, that really was my bad. Maddie decided she was going to have a donut; she opened the box. As Maddie described the situation:

“I opened the box, sat down on a chair and out of seemingly nowhere a paw, with, I think.

one claw, swiped the donuts right out of my hand, making off with it.”

Toot struck several times that week. By Thursday Maddie, was ready with the donuts otherwise she would get a seat on the butt with that one claw unsheathed. Eventually they came to some sort of understanding; Maddie, would give Toot and donuts and Toot in return would not swat her butt.

Midweek, Maddie came over to check and discovered two of the hamsters had gotten out. This obviously was not a good thing. Sir Lancelot and Fuzzy were a pair of escape artists. Maddie was in a panic. She did not want to call us and tell us the hamsters had escaped. Then it dawned on her that Toot was no where to be seen. Panic is never pretty, and Maddie was no exception. She began looking under the sofa, then in closets. No hamsters and no Toot. This simply would not do. Maddie was in panic mode. Toot appeared, with Fuzzy or it could have been Sir Lancelot, they were both long haired with a creamy tarnish coat. Maddie, not knowing that Toot was returning the wayward Fuzzy lunged after Toot. Toot hissed at her continuing toward the hamster’s cage. Maddie made another lunge. Toot swatted Maddie with her paw. Toot sulked away, Maddie could not find Toot and Sir Lancelot was nowhere in sight.

Maddie was close to hysterics at this point. She was completely overwhelmed; the question was did she want to call us and explain why Sir Lancelot was among the missing. This just did not bode well. Maddie searched everywhere including under the beds...no Toot and no Sir Lancelot. Finally, a small furry creature emerged from under the couch; now all she had to do was capture the little gremlin. She lunged and Sir Lancelot went back under the couch. This was progress of some sort, at least Maddie had an idea where he was or thought she did.

Toot, being Toot was not going to be out done by Maddie, who was attempting to move the couch out of the way so she could capture Sir Lancelot. That would have been all well and good except that as Maddie was moving the couch Toot grabbed Lancelot and the race was on. Maddie trying to catch Toot before Lancelot became dinner. Now, Maddie had a real problem once again. No Toot and no Sir Lancelot anywhere. She knew they had to be in the apartment somewhere, the question was where. She had to find them, return Lancelot to his cage then go home and make dinner. This was not in the cards. Darkness was quickly approaching; she still had no idea if Lancelot had become Toot’s dinner. Maddie began her quest once again in the closets. Nothing in either of them. She was not going to move the couch again under any circumstances. Where else could they be? She knew she was going to have to call us before too long, when out of the corner of her eye she caught movement next to the radiator. It was Toot, with Sir Lancelot in her mouth. Maddie wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or cry. Toot walked over to Maddie dropping Lancelot on his head and into her waiting hand. Maddie was not quite sure if this was a truce between them or what Toot had in mind.

The following morning Maddie arrived to feed Toot. Toot sauntered over to her and rubbed against her legs. She had a way of twining her way around our feet. Maddie stood there, frozen almost in time. Why was this cat being so friendly after the week from hell? Did she know we would be returning today? Maddie knew now that she had some sort of truce with Toot mane even mutual understanding.

Maddie went about getting Toot’s food for her. The truce ended when Maddie bent over and Toot, her one claw unsheathed, and struck Maddie in the butt. Maddie turned to face Toot:

“Now look Toot, I have been trying to make nice with you all week! I…”

Maddie peered into those green eyes glaring at her. She quickly went to the cupboard and grabbed a powder sugar donut. That seemed to placate Toot for the moment. Maddie, hastened to the cupboard under the sink, pulled out the cat food and gave it to Toot. Toot promptly meowed. Maddie thought; ‘finally, I am getting somewhere., Toot those velvety green eyes never leaving Maddie’s face. Toot, at her most gracious finally condescended to a small mutual understanding with Maddie. Maddie gave Toot a small piece of donut in return for a happy meow.

March 01, 2023 00:21

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