The Chocolate Cake

      Chocolate cake.

      The cake is chocolate.

      There’s confetti going off Carol, pay attention.

      “A girl? I can’t believe it! I thought for sure it was a boy!”

      “I know Mom it’s crazy. Didn’t you say all boys carried low?” Smile Carol. Smile or she’ll ask what’s wrong. Don’t look at the pink balloons. Keep smiling.

      “Really happy for you love! This baby is going to be the luckiest goddaughter alive. You can count on it. Starting a pink quilt right now!”

      Of course you are. “Thanks Auntie I’m sure she’ll love it.”

      “Are you alright love? You look a little pale! A little shocked? Don’t tell me you were hoping for vanilla. You know boys can be such trouble makers.”

      “Ha. Of course. I mean no. You love it either way as long as it’s healthy right?”

Danny walked in the door looking worse than usual. His hair was disheveled. That huge vein on his neck was bulging.

“Carol, come here.”

Carol walked in the room with a tired look on her face. She stiffened when she saw his face.

“Hi honey. What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? Really? Nice. My own girlfriend is having a baby and I know last out of everyone in this entire city and she asks me what’s wrong!”

“I’m sorry Danny. I just found out. I only told Auntie Ellie ‘cause I knew she’s been wanting me to have one.”

“Well I haven’t.”

Carol’s face went a shade darker when Danny’s mouth started to scrunch up into a scowl she knew all too well.

“What’s that face? You know how I feel. I don’t want a kid. I never wanted one.”

“Danny I know you’re scared and I’m honestly sorry I didn’t tell you sooner but I think this could be good for us!”

“No. I’m under too much pressure at work right now. You don’t need the stress. It’s too much Carol.”

Danny started to walk to the kitchen with a swagger that suggested he had just won the argument.

“No it isn’t. It’s going to be a lot of work but it’ll be worth it Danny. I promise. Okay? We’re having this baby.” She tried to reach for his hand but he grabbed hers first.

“No Carol. WE will not be having this baby. YOU can do whatever you’d like but if that’s what you want, there’s my door and I will help you move out tomorrow.”

“Here, Hon; have some cake.”

Great. Yes chocolate cake. That won’t make me want to barf. “Thanks mom. We really got to get rid of this before Danny comes home. You know he would hate the mess.”

“Sure. You just chat while I make sure everyone eats, okay?”

Shove it down their faces if you have to. “Thanks!”

“Hey girl! This cake is so cute! And you look so great by the way!”

Ha good enough not to look pregnant? Ah. It is a pretty cute cake though. “Thanks Lacey! Hope you’re ready to be her favorite aunt!”

“You know it! Hey can I get you something to drink? You look a little nauseous.”

“Actually I am feeling a little sick. Would you mind just taking away the cake? I can have it later.”

“Sure.”

That’s better. At least I can’t smell the chocolate anymore.

Danny was sitting at the counter yelling at a subordinate on the phone. Carol walked in with her pajamas on. Her jaw was set but her eyes were wide.

“Babe?”

He made a gesture to signal it could be awhile so she started making his favorite breakfast. When the phone call was finished and his mouth was full, she began, “Danny I know what you said last night. And I understand where you’re coming from. But before you start packing up my stuff, just think about how nice it would be to have a boy! He could help you at the shop. You could watch the games together. He would look up to you so much! Plus, everyone says boys are way easier than girls. Not just when they’re babies either- their whole lives! They barely cost anything and they never have drama. We- I mean I- could convert the walk-in into his room and I’ll just hang my clothes in the guest room or something. Honestly you could just do the fun parts anyway! Most of the hard stuff could be my job.”

“Who says boys are easier? One of your random psychic ladies?”

“Oh everyone! Psychologists, doctors, my parents…”

“Kids cost money Carol. Do you know that?”

“Yes Danny. But I can pick up a couple extra shifts and we’ll work it out okay?”

“And you said boys don’t cause problems?”

Carol coughed in a way which seemed to indicate yes.

“Fine. You can have the boy.”

“Danny I don’t know what it is yet.”

“What do you mean you don’t know what it is? Is it cancer or something?”

“What? No it’s definitely a baby. I just don’t know the gender yet. They won’t be able to tell me for like two weeks.”

“So what? It might be a girl? Can’t they test for this stuff?”

“Yes. That’s how they know which one it is.”

“Then why did you say it was a boy?”

“I didn’t! I only said it would be nice if it were a boy.”

Danny stopped chewing and his vein started popping again.

“I just said that ‘cause my mom thinks it’s a boy. So don’t worry.”

 “Oh I’m not. You’re the one stuck with it if it’s not.”

“Do you have any trash ladies? Let me take your trash for you!”

“Hey Carrie! What are you doing? Let the B.O.M. do his job’!”

“The what?”

“The brother of the mother. That’s my new thing. Lacey says your kid could just call me Uncle BOM.”

“It’s sweet how invested you are in this Rob.”

“Of course I am. This kid – I mean girl, gotta start saying that now- is going to feel like she has two Daddys.”

There’s no way Danny would ever let a kid call him Daddy. She might feel like she has one Daddy and one “Sir yes sir.” Oh crap! He’ll be here any minute. Clean Carol!

“Can you help me pick up all the plates or just any random chocolate cake pieces or crumbs or anything that you see?”

“Yeah. Isn’t Danny going to be here soon? Do you want to save it for him to see?”

“Nope.”

“Okay great. Then here the BOM comes making his sister happy by driving her guests insane.”

“Thank you. I love you!”

“A what reveal party?”

“A gender reveal party! It’s super fun. You tell the baker what kind of cake you want to match boys and girls and then you have a note from the doctor saying which one the baby is and you cut the cake in front of your friends and family and everyone finds out together.”

“That’s literally the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard. Why wouldn’t you just read the note from the doctor?”

“It’s more fun this way. Come on Danny! It’ll be great! No planning involved: just vanilla for boy and chocolate for girl and I’ll buy some confetti.”

“So I just show up and figure out if the kid’s a boy and eat cake?”

“Um basically yeah. But it’s supposed to-“

“Fine. I’ll be there.”

Danny walked out silently. He put his earphones in before he could hear the quiet sobs coming from the kitchen.

“Hey Carrie, you okay?”

“What? Oh yeah. Sure. Just can’t wait for Danny to get here.” Liar. What are you going to do Carol? What’s step two in this plan, huh? This is going to blow up in your face and you know it. It’s not a boy Carol. IT‘S NOT A BOY!

“Hey I’ve got to run to the garage real quick. Danny should be here soon. Don’t stress yourself out too much Carrie. I’ll help you out.”

 Tell him what’s wrong. Tell your brother what’s wrong. You know he cares about you. You know he’d help. What if he’d be mad? Why would he be mad? Because I didn’t tell him sooner or because we could have worked on it. Great Carol he’s gone and Danny’s coming. Dear God, this your chance.

Danny walks into the party. He is actively trying to look like the one person who shouldn’t be there but unfortunately he’s the guest of honor.

The crowd parts.

He sees Carol. Her eyes are begging like a lost puppy.

Danny sits down. He smiles.

Lacey and Rob exchange a glance.

Danny lifts the knife and cuts a piece of the vanilla cake.