An Unexpected Evening

Submitted into Contest #42 in response to: Write a story that ends with a character asking a question.... view prompt

18 comments

General

“Alright then, let’s get to work,” Mrs. Sharecourt announced first thing Monday morning. “I will give you today to continue working on your assignments. Find your partners please.” As everyone scrambled and chairs were being pulled from desks, Mark checked for Elisabeth, his partner. He spotted her making her way over to him, shoulder-length dark curls bouncing, notebook in hand and her bag secured over her shoulder.

“Hey there!” she greeted in her usual cheerful tone, making herself comfortable in the seat beside him. “Hey,” Mark responded, moving over a bit to make room.

“I forgot my book, mind if we share?”

“No problem,” he assured her, “but you’ll have to come closer so we can read together.” They were so close now, that their knees almost touched which didn’t bother Mark at all. She smelled sweet like vanilla spice, not overpowering like the way some girls did with their perfume.

“This book is sooo boring,” she whispered after they read a couple of paragraphs.

He let out a little chuckle. “I am inclined to agree with you, but we’ll get through it.”

They forged on taking notes with mostly Mark figuring out the answers to the essay-style questions. He found himself sailing through their project with ease, in school in general; as he should, due to all those times his dad made him buckle down to his homework. Many times, he would rather have reached for his guitar (he’s in the school band), than open a book, but his dad’s watchful eye paid off because he now had two major student awards to add to his resume.  

He wondered how his dad found the energy to get after him, with once having to work two jobs to support them after his mom left. Over the years, she really did make an effort to see him, but since high school, her visits lessened; Mark’s connection to her mostly came in the form of phone calls and texts. But every once in a while, she fit him into her calendar - like today. Maybe she finally wanted to know something about his life after all, and he could maybe tell her that despite his good grades and being in the school band, most of the kids made him feel like he was from another planet.

And he knew he was different.

Sometimes, as he walked the elaborate hallways adorned with its fancy architecture, or walked into a classroom, he would hear ‘freak’ yelled out just because he wore dark clothing, had midnight black spikey hair and piercings everywhere. He knew he stood out from the crowd, like an anomaly. Thus, the reason why he let very few people get too close; save for his best friend Tristan, who was just as much of an outcast with his shaggy hair that constantly brushed his eyes, and his over-sized long-sleeved shirts. In a sea of ‘polished-until-they-shined’ shoes, crisp shirts, and latest fashions, the two of them were a walking distraction in their school where the unspoken rule was an “us” and “them” mentality. He was definitely in the “them” category.

Then there was Elisabeth or Lis, as Mark pet-named her. She was definitely in the “us” category. But she was different too, in a good way; not at all like her stuck-up, supercilious friends. And she seemed to not mind talking to him. When he first started the class, he often caught her eyes in his direction, but not condescending, just a glance. And earlier, while reading together, he was sure he felt her knee touch his. Briefly, he dared himself to wonder if it could’ve been deliberate? He dismissed the thought; she could have her pick of any of the Head Preps or even the Class President if she wanted (if he didn’t already have a girlfriend).

Mrs. Sharecourt suddenly called out for the classes’ attention. “Everyone, I must step out for just a moment. Please carry on.” Nobody carried on. She was barely out the door, when everyone abandoned their books and anything English related. The chatter and laughter erupted like the hub in the cafeteria at lunchtime.

Elisabeth didn’t hesitate either, taking full advantage of the time in getting to know her friend. “So, for those rare times when we don’t have homework, what do you like to do?”

Showing interest. Mark liked that. “Sometimes I hang out with Tristan, or play guitar- I taught myself,” he added proudly. Obviously impressed, her dark brown eyes widened. “That is so cool. My mom made me take piano lessons, but I never really got the hang of it.”

“I tinkered with it, so to speak,” he said, putting his pen in the book to mark where they left off. “but once I picked up the guitar, that was it, and I love the movies.”

“The movies!” she squealed a little too loudly drawing disapproving eyes to where they were sitting. This line of conversation resulted in everything film-their favourite types, favourite stars, and online shows they liked. Just then, to much student dismay, Mrs. Sharecourt returned.

“Even though there’s FilmFlix,” Elisabeth continued to finish up what she was saying. “I still like going to an actual MOVIE theatre. There’s a new movie I wanted to see—"

“Sorry, I was away longer than expected.” Mrs. Sharecourt glanced at the clock. “I hope you got a substantial amount done. Remember the assignment is based on just the first three chapters.” The bell clanged and everyone made a rush for the door. Mark and Elisabeth quickly cleared their desks to get going as well. They would see each other again, after lunch, in French class. Normally, this would get his heart excited, but the supposed meeting with his mom later preoccupied his mind. He still had not gotten any sort of confirmation from her. Not a good sign. Then, half an hour before the end of the day in Science class, he heard a faint sound signaling a text message. Discreetly, when Mr. Nikolos turned his back, Mark pulled his phone from his pants pocket.


I remember our meeting for 5 pm today as planned.

                                       See you soon. How is school?

                                  

                                      Mom


You’d know if you kept in contact more often, he thought bitterly, returning the phone to his pocket.

**********

Shortly after getting home, Elisabeth made herself a sandwich, and then yelled out a quick hi/bye to her mom, as she flew up the stairs to her room to check her email. Nothing special. She then fished for her phone in her bag, and that’s when she saw it- Mark’s copy of her book that they were working on in class. She must have taken it when they were hurrying to leave. She made it a point to text him after her sandwich…

************

Mark stood in front of his closet trying to decide on something appropriate. His mom had said she made reservations at some ritzy restaurant. In the end, he chose black dress pants (big surprise), and the white Victor Valentine shirt she’d given him for his birthday, the only non-black item in his wardrobe. Going over to the bathroom mirror, he studied his reflection, figuring what to tone down. Bad enough he had to wash out the spikes. Now staring at the little gold circles in his earlobes and nose, he thought ‘overkill,’ and decided to lose them all, except for the nose-ring.

Either she accepts me, or she doesn’t.

All set to go, he checked his cell to see he had two minutes to spare. Punctuality was another one of his strong points. Thanks, dad.

It was now 5:15…

5:30…WTF?! She did it again.

Figuring that she probably wasn’t coming, he already began loosening his tie, when his cell dinged. “Hello.”

“I’m so sorry honey, I’m running late. Give me a couple more minutes and I should be there.”

 “I should”, not, “I will” be there? A couple more minutes? Really? He’d already been waiting for over half an hour!

“Okay, whatever,” he countered, trying to steady the depth of his rage. “Where are you?” But she had already hung up.

Pushed by a wave of furious anger, Mark hurled the cell across the room which landed in a pile of clothes waiting to be washed. It was always something with her. What did she say last time? Oh yeah, her car suddenly needed to be taken in. And the time before that- she had to take an important call. He flopped on his bed looking up at the ceiling. He decided no more chances. How could I’ve been so stupid believing her? Bitch!

Ten minutes later, the doorbell sang. It couldn’t be his mom, he just got off the phone with her, and his dad was at work. Peering through the peephole when he got to the door, awaited an unexpected visitor…

Elisabeth.

“Lis?” he exclaimed with both surprise and wonder, upon opening the door. For a moment, she just stared at him. She wasn’t used to seeing him so – normal. She liked the other way too, his edginess was part of his appeal, but this look was one she could get used to.

“Sooo sorry to just show up, but I wanted to give you your book back.” She explained, reaching into her bag to get it. “I must’ve grabbed it when we rushed for our next class.”

“Aww, that’s okay, thanks,” he said taking it. “You came all the way to do that?” Her kindness touched him.

“I sent a text, but when I didn’t hear back, I thought I could just swing by.” She shrugged, “And anyway, I’m not that far from you.” She punctuated this with a huge sunny smile. Then, suddenly realized that maybe now was not a good time. “Oh, you’re heading out, I should get going then.”

“I am, I mean…no, I was supposed to, not anymore,” he said quickly, stopping her as she turned to leave. “Are you busy later?”

Her glossy, pretty eyes maintained steady contact with his hopeful blue ones. “No.”

By now, Mark knew he could forget about seeing his mom tonight, but since he was already dressed, and with the girl of his dreams right there in front of him, maybe he could still look forward to an evening out after all.

“What movie was it again, that you wanted to see?”

May 22, 2020 22:02

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18 comments

Daryl Gravesande
19:01 May 27, 2020

Gimme a follow?

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Jason Heiser
15:06 Jun 05, 2020

I like the way you describe the characters, This short story reads like it could be part of something bigger. I wish you had explained a little bit more about why the relationship between the main character and his mom was so bad. Besides that I can't wait to read something new from you again.

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23:26 Jun 05, 2020

Hi Jason, thank you very much for reading my story and taking the time to comment :-) You are right! the story is from a larger one that I was working on and left for a while. I have been meaning to get back to it :-). I appreciate your encouragement to keep writing - Thanks! Also, thank you for 'following'😀

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Aqsa Malik
21:40 Jun 04, 2020

Very cute story! Things I liked straight off the bat were how natural you made the conversation flow between Mark and Lis, and the few snippets we got of them in school really did reflect how high school is haha. I also like that you were able to develop Marks character in such a small amount of words. "The girl of my dreams part" I felt was a bit cheesy considering that it felt like he saw her more of a close friend, or rather, something could burgeon but after a lot of development. This was a short story though, so taking it in th...

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23:16 Jun 05, 2020

Thank you so much Aqsa for reading my story, and giving me some helpful feedback! Now, that you pointed out the line " girl of my dreams..." it does sound a bit old, like from an old movie; no one really says girl or guy of their dreams anymore - ha ha😁 I'm happy you liked it :-)

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Joshua Hopper
12:46 May 29, 2020

This was a very cute story, with a girl and a boy both having a crush on each other, and the dang parents getting in the way. You did a great job with character development and I felt for both of them, and I’m also a band geek! A few suggestions: 1). This is something I really have been working on, but there’s a lot of stuff that felt like filler. Personally, I think it’d be impactful if you started the story right off with how the main character is an outcast and is scared to let people close to him. Or, instead of explaining that, sh...

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00:56 May 30, 2020

I am back once again to answer your other reply on my story 😁 Thank you so much for your feedback! Yes, your suggestions are very helpful. This is actually taken from a longer work that I hope to turn into a novel, so it has got me thinking on ways to tighten the story. And I will pay closer attention to the advice of 'show don't tell.' That is one I know I can improve on:-) I am happy you liked it. You mentioned being a 'band geek' 🎵🎸 What kind of music do you like and favorite artists? I love all kinds of music! Hard rock, music in ...

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Joshua Hopper
02:20 May 30, 2020

Haha, basically if the music sounds good to me, I like it! Genre doesn’t matter. I play saxophone and I’m a huge Weird Al fan. I am a Band Director and I also like composing my own music. Good luck on your novel!

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Chloe Ly Grimont
11:51 May 29, 2020

I enjoyed reading this; you presented Mark as a character with his own problems and torments, but his relationship with Lis brought out a lighter, feel-good aspect to the story. Also, the different shades of informal language you used to express his thoughts, conversations at school and his mom's text, made it that much more real :))

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00:36 May 30, 2020

Thank you so much Chloe-ly! I really appreciate you taking the time to read my story, and to give your thoughts on it😀!

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Keith B.
22:59 May 27, 2020

Your story has a great flow to it. I like both characters- Mark & Elizabeth. Engaging from start to finish. Wonderful ending!

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01:51 May 28, 2020

Hi Keith! Thank you so much for your sweet comments on my story, and for following :-) I really appreciate it😀

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Keith B.
12:37 May 29, 2020

You're welcome

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Roshna Rusiniya
04:32 May 24, 2020

This is such a cute story! Nicely written too. Last line brought a smile to my face. Well done!

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22:15 May 24, 2020

Hi Roshna :-) I really appreciate your lovely comment. Thank you so much🥰

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Roshna Rusiniya
04:25 May 26, 2020

You are welcome! If you have time, please have a look at my story too. Thank you

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12:34 May 27, 2020

Hi Roshna :-) For sure! I am happy to read more stories from you😉

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Roshna Rusiniya
13:01 May 27, 2020

That’s very sweet of you 💓

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