1947

I sit under our little tree that Papa picked out lots of days ago and I begin to unravel my gift from the newspaper, 2 gifts?

I set the newspaper to the other side of me to read it later, because Mama says I need to read a lot more before I have to stop going to school. I love to write and read and I also like to learn lots of new words.

I feel bad because Mama and Papa have to pay five whole dollars a year for me to go to school, and Ma and Pa said that it was really expensive, so I didn't argue, I just said okay.

But Mama and Papa also said that I would be allowed to have my friends to walk to the shop with them one time, but Ma said I would have to have them with me because it is dangerous to go alone, because I am only 6 years old

When i open my gift, it’s fruit! An apple and a pear, I think that they are both fresh too! I go to my little room and retrieve the flowers I picked in the school garden and the coca cola I bought with the nickel I found on the ground in the school yard. Mama is really a good Mama and I love her very much.

I got the kind of Coca-Cola with the flip back top found in the big red metal coolers. I though it would be nice, because we can’t have Coca-Cola a lot, and when we do get it, we all share, but we don’t argue because it’s really refreshing.

I'm not really sure why we have to share, but I don't mind at all. In church groups, we learn to be grateful for the things that our parents give to us, not the gifts, but the memories because some children my age have bad memories with their parents.

I'm not sure what that means, but maybe that means that other Mama's and Papa's are mean.

We also learn to not think about the things that we do not have, and to not be jealous of what other people have.

It’s not cold like it is in the little market by our house, but maybe we can put it in the garage.

It is really cold there because there is not a heater and papa used to work there all of the time, but now papa is never home because he works too much.

Mama and Papa always says that they have to pay bills, and I don’t like that word, even though I'm not quite sure what that word means either, but because that means that Papa is always working to pay them.

I don’t like when Ma and Papa have to work because that always means that they can’t play with me in the garden, and I love to play in the garden with Ma and Pa.

Mama thanks me for her gift and I look at the chair where Papa would be sitting with us to open our Christmas presents.

Mama and Papa used to get me a pretty dress for Christmas, but those are expensive because they are two whole dollars, and I would have to find lots of nickels in the school yard to buy just one by myself.

One year, I saw Ma get really excited to get a really pretty jacket from Grandmother, and she loved it a lot. I saw her jacket and said it was beautiful when she tried it on.

She looked more beautiful than the girl in my class who can get her clothes washed every single day. She looked like a star. She looked more beautiful than a star.

But one day, Mama’s dress disappeared for lots and lots of days, and when I asked where her pretty jacket went, she said she didn’t know, so I just thought that maybe Mama lost her jacket and I began to feel sad for her. I was sad because Ma wouldn't have a jacket to be able to play in the snow in our little backyard, but I also felt sad, because Ma might get cold.

But on that Christmas that year lots of more days later, I saw the pretty jacket again, But Ma cut the jacket up and sewed pieces up to make me a dress. She made her only jacket that she had into a dress because I liked it.

But this year, I don’t want a pretty dress, or a jacket dress, I just want Papa to be with us, under the tree laughing with me and Ma and opening my gifts I got him with the other 2 nickels I found on the blacktop at recess time.

Maybe when Papa gets home tonight really late, he will have a fresh watermelon for us to all enjoy together. Those are my favorite.

Mama goes back to the kitchen to get the orange we got on something called a sale, and Ma and Pa love these, because they don’t have to use those bill dollars, or other dollars, but I don’t know if they are different because Papa always tells me that I will learn them one day when I get to go to work.

When me and Ma go to the grocery market, I always see Ma run to the things that have the yellow sticker that says "sale".

One time, Papa came home really happy, because instead of getting 8 nickels in one hour, he got five whole dollars!

For some reason, this doesn't happen a lot, but when it does happen it is usually during a holiday, but sometimes there are. Pa says it's called a "bonus".

On this bonus, he said that he had a surprise for me, and I love surprises, so we got our shoes on, and we started walking. Pa took me to the store and got me a lollipop and a new pair of shoes.

This was one of my favorite memories.

Papa was really happy, and Ma was really happy too!

My lips are sealed, Mama is crying under the tree, and we look at each other. She is sad, maybe because of Pa not being here, I hope she likes my gift, I hope that Ma isn’t mad at me for not giving her the nickels that I found on the blacktop.

But for some reason, I don’t think it’s either, because Ma doesn’t look sad, she looks like she is hurt. And I look down to see that she has her father’s picture necklace in her hand, and I don’t feel confused anymore, because I see that they are tears of happy, but also tears of hurt.

Mama misses Christmas with grandfather.

I never met grandfather ever in my life, but Mama and Papa tell me stories, because

Papa met grandfather before they got married, and he says that grandfather was a lovely man.

I have listened to Mama and Papa’s stories for hours or minutes, but I’m not sure if minutes are longer than hours or hours are long than minutes, so I think that maybe I have listened for lots of minutes or lots of hours.

I like the one story that Mama told me before bedtime one night, and I really like this story, I think that this one is my favorite story out of all of the stories Ma or Papa or any story that I have ever heard at school.

Ma says that one time when she was a little girl, grandfather told her to pass the story through something called generations. I don’t know what that means, but it is a really big word.

But it starts back before me, papa, or mama were even born. The story starts with a bike, and you had to work really hard and really fast for lots of minutes or hours, and they were twelve whole entire dollars, but that was even more money back than.

I don’t really know what Mama meant by “it was even more money back then”, but I’m guessing that it means you didn’t make forty five cents in an hour or minute or whatever it is that an adult has to work by.

But that sounds like more dollars than I could ever make finding coins on the blacktop, even though one time I found a dime, and I know that those are worth 10 cents. Grandfather’s Papa, who he used to call “pops” bought him a bike and himself one, and they would go ride their bikes to go to the grocery store.

I know that we can’t even get one bike, but walking doesn’t bother me, because i enjoy doing it after sweeping the floor in the kitchen. I love to take walks with Mama and Papa, but Papa doesn’t usually go with us anymore, which makes me kind of sad, but we at least get to do it once a week, which makes me happy.

Papa walks in finally, and for the first time I am happy to hear the annoying door open. I run over to him and give him a big hug.

"well hello to you too sweetheart", he says happily.

I am so happy he was able to make it before we got to the kitchen to do prayer and eat. I don't like to eat without Papa, because it makes me sad and also makes me worry that he won't be able to eat a nice hot meal between his things called "shifts".

Papa walks in and sees the present wrapped in the gift box that I made out of cardboard and a piece of his work tape, but I didn't use more tape because I was afraid that he would not have enough for work.

Papa sits down, next to where I was just sitting, and begins unraveling the tape and the cardboard. Now I realize how sloppy it looks and I begin to feel a little embarrassed, but remember that it is Pa, and that he loves everything I get him.

He looks really happy, because for the first time in forever, we have 2 Coca-Cola's to share, and we don't have to pass the bottle, but then I shake my head.

"No Pa, that's for you."

He opens the bottle and passes it to me.

"No Pa, I got one for you and one for Ma."

Ma smiles and Pa looks at me like he is sad, and I don't want him to be sad because I love Pa a lot. So when he passes the bottle to me, I don't push it away, but instead I only take one sip and pass it to him. He smiles, and I go back to my little room to retrieve another bottle, and Pa smiles again, but bigger this time.

We open our bottles together and we all laugh, because Pa is with us, and we are all together. This is what I wished for.