Peace In The Pastels

The sun, a disc of molten gold, gradually slipped from an azure sky, down into the depths of the cobalt ocean. Surrounded by the pastel hues of pink, peach, crimson, and lavender, Parker thought it shone like a beacon of beautiful wonder.

She had always loved sunsets. Always felt at home when she gazed at one, no matter where she was. Sunsets, to her, were a sense of peace. Completion.

No matter how bad her day had been, or how dearly she had wished it was over by 10am, she knew there would always be a sunset to finish it with. A beauty that contradicted the darkness. A light that smoothed the approach of night.

Her mother had always said that sunsets were smiles from God. His assurance that no matter what you go through, He's always there with you in the end.

Growing up, it had become a sort of tradition of theirs to drive the two miles to the beach and sit for the sunset each night, and say what kind of smile it was, depending on the day they'd had.

Some days it was a smile of encouragement after a disappointment. Other days it was a smile of joy after a wonderful event.

Her mother would then sing songs to her until the sun finally disappeared beyond the water. Sometimes she sang hymns. Sometimes she sang a lullaby. Sometimes even an old sea shanty when she was feeling adventurous. Parker would sing along with her as soon as she learned the words.

Those were the days. A tear slid down Parker's cheek at the memory.

Her mother had taken her for their "sunset sojourns", as they called them, her whole life.

And then she was gone.

Cancer. Such an ugly word.

She'd been diagnosed, treated, and buried, all in a span of just two months.

The funeral had been today. The love and care that her church showed for her during this time was... Beyond wonderful. Parker didn't think she could have survived without it.

But she needed alone time now. And she was getting it.

She leaned back and dug her elbows into the sand behind her, not caring that she was ruining her new black dress. She didn't ever want to have to wear it again.

Slowly, deliberately, she stretched out her legs and crossed her ankles as the dampness from the sand began to seep through her sleeves to her forearms.

With a sigh, she thought that the sky must not have gotten the memo tonight. The peace of tonight's sunset smile was at odds with the turmoil inside her.

She felt empty, hopeless, alone. Really alone, for the first time. At twenty-two, she had become independent long ago, but the sunset sojourns with her mother had continued as often as possible. From here on out, she'd be doing them alone.

Tilting her head back, she breathed deeply, savoring the salt air and closing her eyes against the slowly darkening sky.

She let herself cry freely then. She wasn't sure how long she cried, but if felt as if time had stopped, just for her.

After a few moments of detached silence, she heard the softness of footsteps in the sand.

Quickly, she jerked her head in their direction and was surprised to see a young man, maybe a few years older than she.

Embarrassed, she wiped her face and tried to make herself the least bit presentable. Hopefully he hadn't been around for her frightful display.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" He said gently, gesturing to the sky. Yep, he'd heard it all. She could tell by his tone.

"Yes, it is." She replied quietly.

"May I?" He motioned to the space beside her.

"It's a free country." She shrugged, and he settled himself at a polite distance from her, but still close enough for conversation.

"I'm Kyle. And you are?" He asked, kindness emanating from his manner.

"Parker." She offered a weak smile as he extended his hand. She shook it, and they both just stared at the ocean for a while.

She felt strangely comfortable beside him. As if she'd known him all her life. I really am going crazy, aren't I? She chuckled.

"What are you laughing at?" He asked with a smile.

She shook her head.

"Myself. I was just thinking about how this was the first time I'd come to look at the sunset alone, and now here you are. I'm not alone anymore." She smiled wryly. He cocked his head, looking at her.

"Would you like to be? I wouldn't mind." She was struck by the his sincerity.

"Don't worry about it. I'm actually kinda grateful. Please, stay if you like."

"Alright."

They were silent again for a while.

"Hey, I don't mean to pry, but..." He trailed off with a shake of the head. "Never mind."

"You were going to ask me what I was crying about, weren't you?"

He suddenly looked sheepish. "Well... yeah. I'd venture a guess that you've just come from a funeral?" He gestured to her dress.

"My mother's."

He frowned. "I'm sorry."

"Thank you."

"I lost my mother, too, a while back. It's rough."

"Yeah. She used to bring me here all the time. It seems this beach is my last connection to her now."

"No, it's not," He said with conviction as he sat up and looked her dead in the eye. "You are your connection to her. Every memory you have of her, everything you did together... that's still with you, and it always will be."

She sighed.

"You know, you're right. Thank you."

He nodded, satisfied, and settled back into a comfortable position.

"How is your Dad dealing with the loss?" He asked, curious.

"Don't have one." She shrugged. "He left my mother as soon as she told him she was pregnant. Bereft and considering abortion, she wandered her way into the neighborhood church and found Jesus." She glanced sidelong at Kyle to see his reaction before continuing. "She ended up having me, obviously, and she made a life for us."

Parker gazed sadly at the waves lapping against the shoreline.

"She was all I had." She finished quietly.

"Not anymore."

"I'm sorry?" She spluttered, shocked.

"You have me now." Laughing at the expression on her face, he continued, "If you can abide my presence, I'll promise to be your friend for life. What do you say?" He threw her a winsome smile.

She squinted at him for a moment, bemused. Then she made up her mind.

"Alright. I know a good offer when I see it. I'd be a fool not to accept." She stifled a laugh.

He grinned even wider.

"Great! Oh, and I'm a Christian too, by the way."

"Even better!"

They laughed.

As they watched the final wisps of golden light disappear over the horizon, Parker felt hope for the first time since her mother's diagnosis. This peaceful sunset smile wasn't out of place, after all.

She just hadn't heard the end of the story yet.