Black magic

"This way, hurry up."

"I don't understand why they sent you of all cats. You don't even look like a real cat."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'm not comfortable walking these streets with the likes of you."

"Wow, just wow... Racist much?"

"Excuse me?! How dare you?"

"I'm sorry, did I hurt your feelings? Where did you study magic, at White Hall Supremacy?"

"Don't you dare call me racist. You don't know me, I'm one of the most-"

"Shut the fuck up before I tear your throat out. You're lucky I'm spellbound otherwise I'd eat you alive. And by the way, the outer candles should be red, you candy-ass motherfucker."

"They were out of red."

"You have to pour the candles yourself. Why do I bother? Let's just get this done."

"I'm not going any further with you. I banish you to the depths of Hell, dark spirit. Begone, you black horror and forever burn in the lake of fire. Levi-O-sa!"

"You hit that black pretty hard, boy. Let me spell it out for you: you can't banish shit. Until my job is done, your white, racist, fat ass is stuck with me. It's through this alley, hurry the fuck up."

"I can't see. How am I supposed to walk through there? No, I'm blind! What did you do to me?"

"Now you can see through my eyes."

"This is nuts. I can hear your thoughts. I always wanted to see in the dark. When I was a child..."

"Stay quiet, fuck-face. I sense another presence..."

"Wait, slow down. It's just an alley cat. Hey, stop that, leave it alone. It's done fighting, leave it be, you monster. Oh God, I can taste it, I'm going to throw up. Stop it, you animal, what have you done?"

"What's wrong, sorcerer, can't you stomach blood? It's the essence of life."

"I don't practice that type of magic. It's weak compared to my craft."

"You're delusional and I can't wait to see you ripped to shreds when we get to the lair."

"Nonsense, I will harvest the poisonous gland without killing the basilisk. Once it wakes from its sleep, I will be long gone. With it, I can ascend to the Higher Planes and leave this forsaken planet. Why are you snickering?"

"Forgive me, master. I have forgotten my place."

"That's better. Now lead me to my destiny, dark one. And stand back, you might learn something."

"Of course, I will get you there in no time. You have my word I won't blink. Just a little further past this fence. Do you see that stack of planks? Right through there and follow the gas pipe, you can't miss it. I'll be right behind you."

"The hunt is on. Stand back, I want to surprise it."

"Hey buddy, wake up."

"Ah, what happened? Why can't I move?"

"It seems you failed to ascend to the Higher Plane, mighty sorcerer. What you see is all that's left. Those basilisks are quick."

"This can't be happening. It must be a trick."

"No tricks, no spells. You are dead. Even though I enjoyed seeing you ripped apart, I can't say it all worked perfectly."

"Am I inside your head?"

"Exactly, that part I did not foresee. A weak link persists between us because I've allowed you to see through my eyes. Now we must wait until it evaporates. You get to linger in this place momentarily before they drag your souls to the depths of the earth."

"This isn't happening. I was destined for greatness. I was going to join the ranks of masters who cheated time, to unravel the mysteries of the universe. Master Chiril himself appeared to me and told me such."

"You're just another fool seduced by power. Only death awaits beyond this world. No man can break free from your ancient chains. I've seen people try time and time again. But you, I don't know how you managed to do anything, let alone summon me."

"I told Master Chiril appeared to me in a dream."

"Don't worry, you'll have the pleasure to hear him scream. A few promises are all it takes to buy a soul these days."

"Well, I suppose that's it then. When will it happen?"

"You should have been gone by now. I feel the bond just as strong as before. No matter, I will take us there. This cannot be. You miserable fool, what have you done?"

"Don't look at me, I didn't do anything. What's wrong?"

"We're trapped. I can't shake your filthy presence from my mind."

"Great, I'm stuck inside a cat for eternity. You're not even a cute, fluffy cat, you look like something washed up on the beach."

"Not for long. I may not be strong now, but in a couple of hours, the doors to the netherworld will open, when spirits roam the land freely. I will have enough authority to see things through."

"Since this is my last time here, can I ask you a favor?"

"I'm not running errands for you, dweeb. Be grateful I can't torment you for eternity. I would have loved to wear your skin."

"I might have a way of fixing this. In my lab, there's another carbon copy of me. It lies dormant, waiting to receive my mind. I speculate that if we both transfer inside, we'll both live."

"You want me to live inside your stinking carcass? Why the hell would I do that?"

"Do you want to risk being a cat for eternity? If we get stuck between realms when you open the doorway, you're looking at a lifetime of my voice booming in your head. But if I'm successful, I'll find a way to split our minds. How does that sound?"

"I'll work with you for now. But if you don't deliver and we end up stuck together..."

"It will work. Quick, what am I thinking about?"

"It's cloudy, I cannot see inside your mind."

"Perfect, don't worry about it."