Heaven's Waiting List

This story contains themes of mental health, and reliving your worst memories. If you had a fear of empty halls or drowning, be careful with reading this story as it contains those themes.

Most of us have learned that when you die you see a bright light at the end of a tunnel, and that may possibly be where the decision is made on where you go. What I experienced was far more than that. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I crashed my car after leaving a party. I thought I was gonna die as the water filled my car. But as my life drifted away, paramedics came to my rescue and before too long, I found myself at the hospital, but I don't remember going in. I don't even remember the drive. I also found it odd that I wasn't in a hospital room, or a bed. I was in what appeared to be a waiting room. The floor was a light gray carpet with cream colored walls that were lined with gray chairs. I also didn't feel any pain anymore. I was sitting in the waiting room, in my clothes that were no longer wet, and I was no longer in pain. All I could hear was the loud ticking of a clock that I could not find. I looked around for an exit, but there seemed to be no door on the wall. Confused beyond belief, I searched for anyone else. A sense of relief washed over me when I saw a woman sit down behind a desk. She was dressed in white nurse coat coupled with a white nurses hat.

“Excuse me ma'am, I need some help. I was in a car accident,” I said. 

She was tapping a stack of papers on the desk to even them out. She looked up at me. 

“Ah, you've arrived. We've been waiting for you,” the nurse said. 

“The paramedics brought me here, but I don't know where they went,” I said. 

“Paramedics?” The nurse questioned. 

“Yeah, they pulled me from my car after the accident, and drove me here in the ambulance,” I said. 

The nurse just stared at me, with a look of confusion, and I picked up on it. I imagine it's the same look I had when I arrived here. Her confused look grew into a smile. 

“Oh, the paramedics, of course,” she said with her smile. 

She stood up and walked over to a cabinet and sifted through some files. She pulled a cream colored folder out and opened it up, flipping through the pages. 

“Ok, here you go. Head on down the hall, they're ready for you,” the woman said with a smile as she handed me the folder. 

Still confused, I grabbed the folder and saw my name in the corner. 

“Wait, I don't understand. Who's ready for me? The doctors?” I asked. 

The nurse didn't say anything, she sat behind the desk, flipping through papers. 

“Ma’am?” I asked. “Where do I go?” I continued. 

She failed to acknowledge me, so I looked to my left and saw a cream colored door. I walked towards it. I put my hand out to grab the handle, but before I did, I spun around to look back at the nurse. She was gone. I approached the door and braced myself. I pulled down on the handle and pulled the door open, stepping into the hall. The door closed behind me, and when I tried to pull the handle again, it was locked. I had no other choice but to continue down the hall, so that's what I did. I proceeded with caution. 

“Hello?” I called out. 

There were no sounds, and no sights of people. I took this moment of silence to open up the folder and flip through my file. There were papers showing different dates. For example, my birthday and dates of when I started school. I continued through the bright lit hall, and as I walked, out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone walk by down the hall. I couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman. It seemed to be nothing more than a silhouette that disappeared behind a wall. I felt a sense of fear rise up in me due to the circumstances. It all seemed too weird. It was too quiet, too empty. This wasn't any hospital I had ever seen. I moved down the hall toward where I saw the person walk by. I came upon an open door. I stepped into the room, which seemed like a conference room. There was a large table surrounded by chairs. There was a projector on one of the ends of the table, pointing at a white screen. Behind the projector, I saw a desk with a glass door built into it, and below it there was a locked drawer. There was a plaque above the glass door that said “Place your past.” I pondered for a minute before I realized what it meant. I opened my folder and took the first page out, the page of my birth and opened the door. I placed the paper inside and closed the glass door. I heard the drawer below unlock and I slid it open. Inside lay a tape. I grabbed the tape and placed it in the projector. I looked around for the light switch, and found it by the door. I flicked the switch and the lights went out. I turned the projector on and sat in the chair. The scene popped up on the screen, and it was a hospital room. It was a recording of my family taking turns holding me after I was born. Everyone in the video had smiles as they were holding me. It seemed to be a day filled with joy. I found myself continuing to smile even after the video had ended. I took a minute to decompress before grabbing my file off the table, and leaving the room, stepping back out into the hall to continue searching. After reaching the end of the hall, I rounded the corner to be faced with another long hall. This one looked a little less polished than the previous one. The walls weren’t as well painted, and some of the rooms were empty. It seemed like it wasn’t finished. I contemplated even walking down the hall, as I figured I was in the wrong part of the building. Just when I thought about turning around, I heard something. It was the sounds of a normal office day. Phones ringing, people talking and the clicking of keyboard keys. 

“Finally, other people,” I muttered to myself. 

I found myself walking at a fast pace out of excitement, the sounds of other people alleviated my fear and confusion, and maybe I’d find some answers about what was going on. All of this excitement and relief was shattered when I turned the corner to see another empty hall, and the sounds of people were gone. The feelings of fear and confusion returned as I looked around, wondering what was making that sound. I jumped back when I saw a woman walk past me. It was the same woman from the front desk, wearing the same white coat and hat. She walked into a room, and I followed along, hustling up the hall and entering the room she had just walked in. I stopped in the doorway when I saw the room had a similar layout to the room I was just in. It had a long table with a white screen and projector, but the woman was nowhere to be found. 

“What the hell?” I said aloud. 

Just like before, there was a wooden desk along the wall but this time it had four glass doors. There were plaques above each. They read,

“The Day School Began.”

“End Of Chapter 1.”

“Year 5 Begins.” 

“Year 5 Ends.” 

It seemed straight forward, and I found the files that contained the information about my first day of First Grade and last day of Fourth Grade, as well as the papers containing my first and last days of fifth grade. I placed the papers in the small compartments and closed the doors, hearing the locked drawers below unlock. I grabbed the four tapes, shut the lights off and inserted them one by one in the projector. The tapes showed memories from my elementary years. I again found myself smiling at the videos. These were the most fun times of my life, and I yearned for these days to return. But, despite the excitement I felt, I couldn’t shake this certain feeling I had about the videos. They seemed odd. I brushed the feeling off after the last tape ended, and I stood up and turned the light on. I had to find someone, I needed to know what was going on. As I was opening the door, I saw a man walking. He looked like a doctor, he had on a white coat and was holding what looked to be a clipboard. He disappeared behind a wall, and I took the four or five steps out and rounded the corner to see…nothing. Another long empty hall. This one looked a little worse than the last. The walls weren’t fully painted, and the floors weren’t fully carpeted. 

“Hello!” I yelled. 

I saw the doctor again walk by and enter a room. My fear and confusion was taken over by anger. They were messing with me. I began to sprint down the hall and I reached the room the doctor was in. The door was half closed. I pushed it open to see yet another projector room. But the doctor was nowhere to be found. I sighed heavily and aggressively as I walked over to the desk with the familiar glass cases. This time there were three.

“Ok, what now?” I said quietly.

The plaques read,

“End of Chapter 2.”

“Journey through Chapter 3.”

“End of Chapter 3.” 

I inserted the correlating papers and unlocked the drawers. The first tape that played was my last day of eighth grade. The next tape was a montage of moments through my high school years. My first day of freshman year and a few good times I was having with friends that year, as well as moments from my sophomore year. This was my worst year, the year I became depressed, and I dealt with my depression by being angry. I lost so many friends, and I had to relive these moments again through this tape. That’s when I realized what was so eerie about the tapes……who was recording them? I realized something was wrong when I kept seeing my mom in all the videos, but I figured it may have been my dad recording. But my parents separated when I was in fifth grade. The video showed me in school, so was someone stalking me throughout school taping me? How did no one see them? How did I not see them? Some of the videos show me within less than five feet of the camera, even walking towards it at times. The tape ended halfway through my junior year, the year covid ruined everything and made us all homeschooled. The last tape was my graduation. The tape started in the building, showing all the students in the cap and gown sitting in rows. The camera zoomed in on an empty seat. It was the seat I was supposed to be in. I hadn’t gone that day. Because we were homeschooled all senior year, it almost felt unearned. Not to mention my anxiety about dressing up like a moron in that dumb cap and gown and walking across a stage. After the camera zoomed in on the empty seat, the screen went fuzzy and became all warped. A few seconds later, the screen came back and the camera was recording a house. It was my old place, the house we lived in at the time. The camera walked up to a window, and through the window, I saw myself inside, laying on my bed. I immediately turned the projector off and ran to turn the lights on. I stood there confused for a minute before leaving the room, leaving the file on the table. I turned the corner and was faced with another long hall. This one was even worse than the last. The floor was all cement, and the walls were barely painted. Most of the lights didn’t work in this hall either. I caught a glimpse of something a little ways up the hall. Because of the distance between myself and it, and due to half the lights not working, I couldn’t see it too well. But after taking a few steps forward, my eyes were able to focus on it. It was a head, more specifically someone's eyes peering around the corner at me. My heart sank like a heavy boulder. My chest began to feel tight and my stomach twisted and my brain felt like it was spinning in circles as it tried to put together the situation. I couldn’t say anything. I just found myself rooted to the floor, staring at those cold dead eyes at the end of the hall, while they stared back at me. Finally, the eyes disappeared behind the wall, and I was able to move forward, slowly. I got to the end of the hall and I stood at the corner. The person was looking at me from. I took a deep breath and quickly turned the corner. No one was there, I was faced with a dark hall. In fact everything around me got very dark. Using a flashlight I found, I lit the hall up and the light revealed the dark hall to be the worst looking one in the building. The walls were not only not painted, but not finished, revealing the wooden studs and the pipes behind it. The floor was all cracked cement and the light fixtures were hanging from the ceiling. I walked down the hall, almost shaking in fear. I began to hear crying, it was the cry of a female. It began as only small distant whimpers, but became more rhythmic and louder wails as I got closer. After turning down a few halls, my light stopped on something that was the source of the whimpers. A girl sitting down with her knees hugged to her chest and her face buried in her knees, crying. I couldn’t help but feel scared. It stunned me finally seeing someone else. I tried to call out to her, but she looked back at me. I felt like I recognized her, but it was hard to tell. She stood up and ran. I chased after her, trying to call out to her, telling her I wasn’t going to hurt her. I turned the corner and saw her run into a room. I followed her into this room. There it was, a projector on a table with a white screen in front. My heart almost shot out of my chest when I heard something. I jumped and turned around, seeing my file sliding across the floor towards me. I shined my light around but saw no one. I picked up the file and opened it. 

“DON’T HIDE FROM IT,” was written in big red marker on the first page, with only one other page behind it. 

I quickly and frantically ran to the desk and placed the page into the glass door that had no plaque above it. The drawer unlocked and I placed the tape in the projector. My heart stopped when I saw the videos being played. They were videos of fights. Fights between my mom and brothers and between me and my ex-girlfriend. This fight continued to play in a loop. I had to relive these moments, yelling at her, flipping the kitchen table, throwing the chair and breaking a vase. Hearing her cries again broke my heart. I had regretted the fight ever since the moment it ended. That’s when I realized that the girl I saw in the hall that was crying was my ex-girlfriend….the man looked up from the notebook he had been writing in. The tape ended, but the sounds of the fight didn’t. They replayed in the man's head over and over again. The yelling, the screaming, the crying, everything. He stood up, trying to cover his ears, but it didn’t help. He looked up and saw his ex-girlfriend standing in the doorway. She approached him, but he ran past her, running frantically through the halls as whispers filled his ears. He began to stumble into the walls, as these arguments circled in his head. He couldn’t feel scared, sad or angry. He felt broken down. He sat down in the middle of the hall and closed his eyes. The ringing of a phone began. He looked up to see the hall he was once in was now a dark room. A room of nothingness, just a table with a phone. The man stood up and slowly walked up to the phone. He held it up to his ear and a demonic whisper came from the other end. 

“You didn't face your past, there is no resolve. Entry denied,” it said. 

The man began to feel wet, as he felt himself almost falling through the floor. A few seconds later, he found himself in his car once again, trapped in his seatbelt. The water rose up, consuming his mouth and then nose. A few seconds later, his car was completely filled with water. He looked out the window, searching for the paramedics. But they were nowhere to be found, all he could see was a man with a dark jacket and hood on, standing at the top of the small hill, recording the car as it sank into the water.