The Living Dead

I'm dead. In movies, they'd call me a zombie, the undead. I'm dead but they don't know because save for the lack of a beating heart, I'm still relatively normal. The same could be said for my family.

However, even if we did try to live as normally as we could, there were still precautions we had to take. For one, it was time to say farewell to Triton Way.

I smiled sadly at the person crying in front of me: Janey Jane. If my heart still beat I knew it would hurt. Although I am incapable of genuine human emotions, I still felt a portion of human pain.

After all, it was how I died.

In a murder, there is the weapon, motive, victim and killer. I was murdered, that much I know and if I would sum the crime, it would be a queer report. A gun was the weapon. The motive was escape. The victim would be me. The killer would be Love, its accomplice none other than me.

To sum, Love caused me pain until it fully killed me. Unfortunately, love also killed my family.

I loved him, I died. My family loved me, they died.

For some reason, love also kept the dead alive. Hence, here we are, about to move to another town and start again. We had to don a new face, a new identity, a new house, and a new life.

I chuckled to myself thinking about how I lived more when I was dead than before I died. The humor quickly faded when I remembered what was really happening.

I was holding a heavy box while my friend of the year was crying in front of me. I had a new friend every time we moved. Although I tried to not get attached, It was still hard to let them go.

Janey Jane was crying in front of me. I could only smile at her sadly, knowing her tears couldn't stop me. She flung herself at me and I hugged her tight. We stayed in each other's arms for a while but we had to let go.

"Hey Mrs. B.", Janey greeted my mother as she walked out the door carrying a box. My mother only smiled at her, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. She knew how hard it was for me, but I also knew why we had to move.

"Do you really have to go?", Janey asked in between sniffles. Her eyes were puffed and red from crying.

"Yeah... You know how it is. My dad's work moves, we move. Besides, I already told you-"

"-I shouldn't get too attached because you'll be leaving after a year", Janey finished for me, giving me a small smile.

There was a few moments of silence between us, before Janey took a deep breath and attempted to flash her sweetest smile.

"Well, I hope you remember me.", she said in forced cheerfulness. I could see right through her and find pain at losing a friend. I wanted to hug her but I was afraid I wouldn't be able to go, and so I forced my hands to remain by my side.

"Of course, I will", I said truthfully. She nods, waves goodbye and walks away. She suddenly turned back to look at me. She opened her mouth and looked like she wanted to say something. I saw her face scrunch up which I knew was her "thinking face". She stayed frozen in time, debating with herself before shaking her head and walking away.

I helped my parents and brother move the last of the boxes in the van before I settled inside. I felt a hand rubbing my back and looked to see my elder brother giving me a comforting smile. I smiled back and looked out the window, wiping away ghost tears.

I held a notebook in my hands and turned its pages. I wrote in it every time we moved. It was sort of a record of a life I had. As of present it held eight names: Leigh Johnson, Lee June, Lilo Jensen, Lia Jones, Lenny Jahmes, Laia Judes, Leila Jacks, and Lyra Jinn.

I grabbed my pen and started to scribble a new record.

9:

Dear LJ9,

I was Lina Journ. I studied in Triton Academy in Triton Way. The school had itchy uniforms but survivable classes. Last year I was the lazy student so this year I tried for an average passing student status.

This year I decided to try out cheerleading which I discovered I sucked at. At least, I tried? I ended up in playing the occasional football with some guys and made a new friend: Janey Jane. Janey Jane was the sister of one of the guys I played with and she always sat near me since classes usually sat alphabetically. It made sense she'd talk with me and make friends.

She's 5'5" with light brown skin and black hair. She has dark brown eyes almost mistaken for black. She loves all things old school which we found was our common ground. We'd always dress up like oldies and hang out in oldies themed restos around town. Sometimes her twin, Jerry Jones would join us at their house as we watched old school movies.

I admit I might have had a teensy weensy crush on Jerry Jones, but I knew it wouldn't bear fruit. He hung out a lot, just him and me. I guess he even liked me? Either way, we wouldn't work out. I would leave by the end of the year and his heart deserved another beating heart.

I truly had fun at Triton Way with Janey Jane and the guys. I know I'd miss them as much as I miss those from 8 lives before.

Next year, I'd like to try to be the IT girl. I think that would be hard to do in a year but I need to try something new. Being the same type of high school student forever would be boring. See you next year for the 10th entry.

Love,

Leann Jims