Tangerine Twist

My hands desperately clung onto my jacket, pulling onto it to gather up all the warmth I could. The fabric that laid against my skin sheltered my skin from its harsh touch. My eyes were glued to the floor, seemingly protecting my eyes from the winds harsh gusts. Leaves toned with Tangerine twist and shaded with Cranberry crunch twirled at my feet, dancing through the air as that harsh wind guided them away from its own touch.

"I feel like this is a bad idea." My voice called out, my feet taking louder and rather rapid steps to reach our destination. "Why did we decide to do this again?" Lifting my gaze from the floor, I couldn't help but allow a smile to be painted upon my lips as my shivering hand reached out toward it. Taking a sharp breath in, I allowed myself to push it open. We were greeted with a large and long squeal from the gates in return from disturbing it. Shuddering from the sound, I walked in as my friend followed me like a lost lamb from behind. 

"I told you, we have to do this before we face reality you know?" His voice was gentle with a clear lingering sense of joy standing firmly behind those words of his. "We've got to do silly and reckless things before we grow up, right?" Walking around, those same leaves had returned just to be crushed beneath my steps against the sticky mud. 

"Yeah, okay." I mumbled, catching my fingertips in some cobwebs which seemed to stick to my fingers. "So we just sit here and wait for spirits to arrive?" Kicking away some leaves, I found a small circle of cracked concrete and sat there leaning my back against it. It wasn't exactly clean, but that was the least of my worries. 

"Exactly." He sat beside me, a grin from ear to ear causing me to laugh a little. He was always so playful, I adored that about him. He's always been such an incredible friend so I couldn't just turn down his invite to go to a strange graveyard, though that wasn't really the reason. He had been nagging me day after day to come and visit him, so I felt like I had no choice. Why we just couldn't hang out at my place was clearly beyond me. Taking in another shaky breath, the cold took over my entire body yet the wind seemed to whisper a gentle song. I couldn't see much, only the floor surrounding us both was in sight. Staring upwards, the moon was shimmering down against us both and it lit up all of the stars around it. Those stars were blinking at us both, seemingly granting any hidden wishes that I could mumble beneath my jagged breathing. Then again, once I shut my eyes I couldn't help but think they were watching us instead rather than granting us wishes, waiting for us to become one of them. Darkness blanketed everything, the trees and leaves that swung away from them, the graves that littered the ground and the fence that surrounded us, keeping everything in rather than out. 

"I'm pretty sure we're going to get murdered before we see any spirits, Jamie." His laughter hung in the air as his fingertips glided through his brown curls. I felt as if I was just winding myself up. Why was I so scared and how on earth was Jamie so comfortable when I was absolutely terrified? I seemed to hyper fixate on every little movement and everything that surrounded me. The barrier between comfort and I was the lingering yet well-known darkness that clung to everything around me. 

"Trust me, we're going to be okay." His words may sound comforting, but in my situation they just sounded like empty promises. "Trust me." Shuffling in my pocket, I pulled out a few sweets that were accompanied by sticky wrappers. The foil crinkled against my touch as I opened one, popping it into my mouth. 

"Want one?" I mumbled against the sweet in my mouth. 

"Nah, you're good." Nodding, I shoved the rest back into my pocket before my eyes met a light in the distance before disappearing shortly afterwards. 

"Hey, Jamie-" I leaned forward, my eyes squinting along with my breath getting caught against my throat. "Did you see that?" Jamie moved forward, his eyes training onto the darkness before him. 

"No, what was it?" He seemed confused as I was pretty frantic yet the tension that had grown could be sliced in half from the loud and rather obnoxious chewing from me. "Did you see something?" 

"Yeah! It was a light." My finger pointed toward the distance, the wind blowing once again only to ruffle the leaves and add a few more to the collection at my feet. 

"Just a light? I'm pretty sure it could have been a car." He leaned back once again, staying beside me and smiling. "Don't worry so much, focus on the bigger things." Through his words, I realised how idiotic I must have sounded to him. He was right, I was panicking over nothing. I suppose I was just tired, wasn't I? How I truly wish that was the case. 

My eyes once again trained on the leaves at my feet, stepping on them just to hear that satisfying autumn crunch. It was the little things that made my Halloween like these leaves, hot chocolate and the tension filled air that seemed to last the entirety of October. Leaning my head back I listened to my surroundings. Crows and ravens shared calls In the distance and that familiar melody of the wind filled my ears and mind. Everything felt so calming, but it was so eerie and uncomfortable at the same time. I felt guilty sitting in a graveyard, I felt like I didn't belong - like I was bothering those here. Something in my head kept telling me I belonged here though, that I had a right to visit and say hello and goodbye as much as I needed. Nobody I knew was here, I'm sure of that. Maybe nobody came here to say goodbye to the spirits here? Maybe family and friends left their souls alone, it could have been too painful in the past for them. I sure hope they didn't mind me being here, I really didn't fancy bringing a spirit home with me. Looking back in front of me, my eyes trained on that familiar flash of white light again. 

"Jamie," My voice trembled gazing at him with fear clearly written all over my face. 

"I see it too, I think it's a torch." He was strangely calm sitting beside me, his hands resting gently against his lap with his eyes training on the flashes of light we were spotting between the trees delicately shaded leaves. "It is Halloween, I'm guessing others have stopped by to do some ghost hunting." For some reason, fear practically stabbed me in the stomach as I took a sharp and shaky breath inward to fill my Lungs to attempt to suppress some fear. 

"Let's get out of here, I don't fancy taking my chances." Shuffling to my feet, I once again clung to my jacket before I felt his hand grip onto my shoulder. 

"No, please." For some unknown reason his voice sheltered a sense of despiracy. "Let's stay here, just for a little while longer?" I felt compiled to just agree as that shining light grew closer to our current destination. 

"Okay, sure thing." Sitting back down, Jamie began to smile and talk again as the sound of crunching and shuffling leaves became accompanied by footsteps. 

"I really appreciate you coming here with me tonight." A smile was sewn on his lips as he turned to me causing me to smile too. "I don't get to see you much anymore, you're always so busy." He paused, gently rubbing his hands together to protect them from the chill of the air. "I miss you man."

"Dean?" A higher voice dripped in honey spoke, causing me to stand straight away to dust myself off a little frantically. "What are you doing here again?" Looking up at her, I shook my head a little tugging my jacket against me for a little more comfort. 

"Mom, I'm just here for Halloween." Her hands gripped the creaking gate, pushing it open rather slowly as she took some gentle steps toward me. "I'm with my friend, we're fine! I'm going to be back soon anyway, right Jamie?" 

"Sweetie.." Her voice trailed off as she reached for my shoulder with her eyes filling rapidly with concern. "Jamie's dead." 

"What?" Anger filled my body along with a large amount of annoyance, how the hell could somebody say such a thing? "Mom he's right here, don't be rude. What did he ever do to you?" Turning behind me, my hand reached to pat Jamie's shoulder. However, due to my absolute horror he wasn't there anymore. She sighed, crouching down and shuffling about in her bag before bringing out several Anemone flowers and placing them gently upon a grave before us. I kneeled down myself, my eyes frantically scanning the words on the grave which was beginning to be coated with Strands vine and flowers that had grown against the dirt. It was Jamie's grave, he had died. 

"Dean he died a while ago, remember?" Her voice was drowning in a sympathetic tone and for some reason that just increased the mass of annoyance filling my body. 

"He was with me a second ago I swear!" Once I spoke those words, the memories my mind tried to endlessly suppress came flooding back. Our friendship, the crash, the funeral. He was gone. 

"Everybody deals with grief differently, it's been hours now." She stood, taking my hand in her own, and guiding me back down the same path I entered. "Let's go home." 

My hands desperately clung onto my jacket as those leaves toned in Tangerine twist and coated in Cranberry crunch twirled and danced at my feet. Darkness began to let up as the moon now hid behind the trees being replaced by the sun. That harsh wind proceeded to play that broken melody over and over again in my ears. This time, however, I'm alone.