Never ever.

Warning Swearing words.

15/04/23

Last night, I dreamt that I was married to a successful and popular redhead. All the church girls wanted him, but I wasn't happy. When I told my mother, we both laughed as she advised me to text him and end things.

As the alarm rang, I smiled, thinking back to the rigid sect I grew up in and how my mother had also relaxed in later life.

The new workplace had a vibe. Jacko, my manager, had sharp, pointy hair and a toned body with a square-buckled new leather belt. Mary's presence was like sour milk, while Jane's friendly smile was only the tip of the iceberg.

I confidently slip-knotted my shoulder bag's strap and placed it on an allocated dark shelf. My food went into their refrigerator, and all my "new employee" forms were promptly returned to them.

The day went by quickly in their brand-new workstation.

Note: Leave at 5.10 am to avoid traffic.

16/04/23

There were no spoons. I tilted their coffee jar and drank a very strong black.

Jacko talked loudly, and some of his jokes were borderline.

Jane, my supervisor, was late, as usual, but I didn't let it affect me.

I loved the fresh wood scent every time I opened the desk drawer, I found three sets of scissors there. One had the name "Mary" written on the blade from a permanent black marker.

17/04/23

I dreamt my father touched me on the forehead, and I missed him dearly.

Some of the staff had been off with COVID, and because of that, I did not want to sit in their air-conditioned staffroom during lunch. All the tables were always crowded except for Mary's table. I made it clear to Mary why I had changed and sat in the outdoor setting for breaks.

I also mentioned I had found scissors that might be hers. Her eyes grew large, and she grabbed her scissors from the drawer, but I couldn't hear her reply due to the booming music outside.

As I tipped out what I thought was my litter into the main bin, a scrunched-up note fell to the ground. It had shaky handwriting that read, "Fuck you."

18/04/23

I was not able to remember everything I was shown and told. So, I confidently took notes and journaled them for future reference. Although I'm told I'm not up to speed and making too many mistakes, I know the story of trauma induced induction process.

Too tired to write, night!

19/04/23

Jane was on time today.

Mary needed Jane's assistance, but Jane hissed at her. I stepped in and asked Jane to help Mary.

I noticed a folded linen tea towel in the lower cupboard, with a shiny silver teaspoon, a fork and knife, and an upside-down rose-printed coffee mug placed on top of it. The name "Shui" was printed on a waterproof label on the mug's base, and there were two unopened UHT milk cartons.

20/04/23

I enjoyed lunch with my daughter and later took over three hours to put my work notes in order. Additionally, I drew step-by-step instructions for the more difficult tasks in my journal.

24/04/24

Jane arrived at work earlier than me today and blamed me for being slow. She said she would be "moving in," meaning I am sharing the new workstation with her. She wore her hair down, and I wondered if it would be caught in one of the machines. Jacko looked surprised by her different appearance, yet his right eye slid over her.

25/04/24

I had McDonald's with my son at 4 am. before attending the ANZAC day service and parade.

29/04/24

Jane said she started at 4.30 am this morning. She exclaimed we had a backlog and showed me how to use a different machine at her old workstation.

At morning tea, I drank my water and relaxed in that workspace. As I stretched my legs, I knocked over something. I crawled under the table to find a metal flask. I thought it might have been Jane's, but she mumbled, "That was Peter's, you can throw it out."

30/04/23

Jane was very early again and told me to move my things to her old workstation.

Jacko is either in Jane's room or sits outside the scan of the cameras and talks on his phone and other things.

Linda, Aaron, and Derek work close to me now and seem friendly towards me. They told me they hated Mary and called her a low-performer and a troublemaker. However, I defended Mary and told them that I liked her.

The foreman, Robbo, made a joke about me not finishing my work the other day, but I confidently laughed it off and told him that I was working on it.

01/05/23

I was moved to Mary's workstation, where two men I sort of recognized came to us and were angry and yelled at us because our work was no good. They claimed it was two millimetres out and not centred. Mary teared up, and one man screwed his nose and clicked his tongue at her. I stood up for Mary and myself and told them that we would fix the problem right away.

At lunchtime, Mary ate with me at our workstation. She said I could put my coffee mug and cutlery in her side cupboard. She told me she had also worked in Jane's new workstation and Jane's old workstation, too.

I felt my ears burn, and I turned around to see Linda, Aaron, and Derek talking. However, I remained confident in my abilities and continued to work hard.

02/05/2023

Mary got called to the office. She returned and packed her things. I said goodbye to her and jokingly added that at least she had her things. She nodded. Later, I wrote a note that read "Dead Letter Department." I stuck the note on the side of my desk so everyone could see it. During my lunch break, I scanned some employment sites.

03/05/2023

A new employee was shown the "new workstation," Jane arrived late, so she was still organizing herself at her old workstation.

08/05/2023

I slept deeply and had my first dream in weeks. My dad was at that wedding, and as he walked me down the aisle, he whispered, "You don't have to marry him." I looked at my dress, and it was a high viz, fluorescent green colour.

I remembered to pack some things in my bag this morning. Jacko and Robbo walked past me and joked that I might finish my work by next Friday.

Jane was on time.

During morning tea, I went into the "new" workstation and put red flag stickers on two pairs of scissors, a spoon, a fork, a knife, a coffee mug, a tea towel, and two UHT milk cartons. I also stuck a flag on the flask, which I placed on the benchtop again.

I placed my own teatowel, spoon, knife, and fork in my bag.

I was to start my new job next week

Then, the office called my name over the loudspeaker. I noticed people were poking their heads up, around doors, etc.