Cycles

Governor O’Malley stood squarely in front of Eric as he sat strapped to the chair.

               “Do you have any final words?” The governor asked as his eyes looked down at Eric. He could feel that O’Malley had no qualms about standing in front of a man that was about to die.

               “Just that I’m sorry, I’m really sorry to the family” Eric found himself starting to choke on his words as he thought about family. “I know what I did to you was wrong and I could never give back what I took. I only hope that in time you can find it in your hearts to forgive me.” A single tear started to fall from Eric’s left eye. He couldn’t remember the last time he actually cried. It wasn’t when he was living on the streets at fourteen, the first time he got arrested, or even when the judge had given him the death sentence.

It wasn’t that he didn’t feel anything when the judge said “Life.” He knew that something was going on inside of him because he had disassociated with his surroundings. He didn’t hear anything else until the gavel smashed on the bench. It felt like he had awoken from a coma. He went back to the years when he was kid and wished he could have told him to make better choices. He spent so much of his youth just trying to survive he never thought about tomorrow. Now at the age of twenty-five his life was over.

The boy sitting on the other side of the window during the execution was nine years old Matt Bearings. His reaction was somewhat similar. Everyone described him as a kind boy, and he was still trying to piece together what had happened when Eric had broken into his house while he and his dad were sitting in the kitchen eating ice cream. His mother was out of town and while she was gone his father Ryan Bearings liked to have a special time with his son. Some nights they would stay up later than usual watching movies that mom might not approve of, riding go-karts, or like tonight they stayed up late having too much desert.

It was around nine that night when Eric had broken in. There wasn’t any special reason that he picked that house. It was in a nice neighborhood and the lights were out. He assumed that the people that lived there were out of town because they were the only houses that still had trashcans sitting out on the curb. His plan was simple. Be quick, hit the bedroom and bathroom, grab any jewelry and anything worth taking from the medicine cabinet. He had a gun, but he planned to only use it for intimidation. He was a thief but killing was a line that he wasn’t prepared to cross.

He put a few layers of sticky tape on the small window next to the front door that muffled the sound of the glass shattering as he smashed it with the butt of his nine-millimeter. The tape also helped keep the noise down as the shards fell onto the hardwood floor. Reaching through slowly his thick jacket and wrapping he had around his arm helped as he unlocked the door. He did manage to nick his hand on the way back out, but the cut wasn’t bad. He pushed the door open and started to make his way towards the staircase that was just down the hall from the front door. Just as he approached the staircase Ryan came around the corner with a big smile on his face surrounded by chocolate ice cream. Eric never forgot the look on his face as started to realize what was happening as he raised his hands with his palms facing Eric.

“Hey now, I don’t know who you are, but we don’t have much.” Ryan took one step back.

Eric could feel his heart start to pound now as well. He wasn’t sure who was more afraid him or the other guy. He had gone over it in his mind many times about how this could go down but now that he was here there was a bad taste in his mouth.

“I didn’t come here to hurt anybody.” Eric said shakily.

“That’s good. I don’t want anybody to get hurt. Here takes my watch, it’s a Grand Seiko and you can get a lot for it.” Ryan started to take the watch off his wrist when Matt came from behind him.

“What ya doing dad?” Matt asked innocently before he noticed Eric standing there with the gun.

“Shush, it’s ok son. Just don’t worry, I’m handling this okay.” Ryan said placing his right hand on his son’s chest before he started again to remove his watch.

The room was so quiet that when Ryan undid the strap on his watch it sounded like a whip cracking. Eric could feel the tension too, he had also never been properly shown how to handle a firearm. Naturally his finger wanted to rest on the trigger of the gun that was pointed at Ryan chest. Ryan went and threw the watch underhanded to Eric who partly because of a lack of training and partly because of his nerves pulled just a little too hard on the trigger when the watch landed in his hand.

The sound of the gunshot echoed through the house and Eric’s eyes had started to focus on the some that started to rise from muzzle of the pistol in his hands. His eyes widened as Ryan fell back to the ground, placing his hand on the bullet hole.

“Dad” Matt screamed placing his hands on his father’s chest. It reminded Eric of his father. He also died when he was young right around this kid’s age. He didn’t witness how it happened he just knew that he had been gunned down in the street. Life wasn’t the easiest before then but after that had become especially hard. He remembered how mad he was at the world that something like that could happen. And then he looked down back at Ryan who was looking at his father as he struggled to breathe. Now Eric was responsible for the next wave of anger and violence that was going out into the world. He felt shame as he dropped the watch onto the hallway floor and started to back out of the house.

He didn’t make it far before he started retching and vomited into the front yard. He looked up and could see some neighbors’ lights starting to flick on. Eyes had started to appear between blinds and around curtains looking at him on his knees. He quickly stood up and started to run down the street. Eric was surprised by the gun going off again as he ran that caused him to stagger and drop the gun into the street.

It wasn’t long before the police had picked Eric up and the trial had so much evidence against him. The DNA along with multiple eyewitnesses. His face was all over the news as the man who broke into a home and killed a father in front of his son. There was no sympathy for his past and when the sentencing came through. The judge used words like “Habitual” and “Menace” and Eric felt like he was right. Somehow, he had become the evil in the world that caused his life to spiral towards the street. In court he couldn’t even bring himself to look the boy in the eye as he sat in the back trying to look brave next to his mother.

Now it was five years later and time to carry out Eric’s sentence. Eric didn’t have the taste to appeal his sentence. The look in that boy’s face and the gasps of his father had been haunting him ever since that night. The guilt had become overwhelming, and Eric had wanted to put everything to bed.  

“Is that all?” O’Malley asked with his hands in his pocket.

“Just don’t be like me. That’s it” Eric replied as he sniffed. He tried to wipe the tear from the side of his face but realized that his hands were tied to the rest of the chair.  

“You don’t have to watch.” Ryan’s mother said to him.

“No, I want to be here.” Ryan, who was now fourteen, looked forward back through the glass at Eric. Although Eric couldn’t see them it felt as if he and Ryan were looking directly at each other until the hood went over Eric’s face.

“Please, let it end with me.” Eric repeated softly under his breath until the executioner threw the switch sending electrical currents through his body. Muffled screams started to pour out from the hood as Ryan and his mother watched on. She had been waiting for this day to get justice on the man who took who husband away and traumatized her son. But now that she was here, she felt like the experience was more than she thought it was going to be. Instinctively she placed her hand over her son’s and looked over to comfort him. Ryan didn’t appear bothered by it at all, he looked on calmly like he was sitting on a park bench watching ducks waddle into the water. His mother looked back towards Eric who had gone quiet and now the doctor was checking him for a pulse. When none could be detected the doctor called the time of death at 12:45 PM and the viewing curtain was closed.

“Good riddance. All of this is finally over.” Ryan’s mother said.

Ryan looked back up at his mother, his expression blank and cold and simply replied “Yeah.”