I shall join Abuela too.

"Abuela?" I wrapped an arm around her waist and hugged her.

She didn't hug me back. Her arms lay stiff at her sides. 

What's wrong with her? I thought.

Is she alright?

"Say goodbye, Emma." Mommy whispered in my ear. Her breath making me shiver. Everything about this place gave me the creeps. 

But I didn't want to say goodbye to Abuela. I didnt want her to go.

Yet I hugged her hard.

"Where is she going, mommy?" I pressed my cheek against Abuela's stomach. "Why is she leaving us?" I nuzzled my face and breathed in the sweet scent of Abuela.

"Just say goodbye, Emma." I felt mommy press a hand on my shoulder. The last time Abuela had placed a hand on my shoulder was when she had bent over, looking me in the eye as she'd scolded me.

I felt hands pick me up and raise me toward Abuela's face. Her face looked so pale. Her skin was dry. Too dry.

"Say goodbye, Emma and kiss Abuela's cheek." Daddy mumbled from behind me.

He gave me a little shake when I refused to do so.

"But why is she leaving?!" I whined and stared at Abuela's face. "Why do you look so white, Abuela? And why are you not looking at me?" My lips trembled as Abuela kept her eyes closed. I wanted to howl and cry. I did not want her to leave me.

The hands under my armpit tightened and it grew painful. Daddy shifted me toward his waist, relieving the hold under my shoulder.

That felt better.

"It's alright, Emma." Daddy kissed my Cheek. "It's alright. Here." He bent me toward her face. "Kiss her."

I reached forward and brushed my small three year old fingers on her eyes. "Open your eyes." I urged silently.

She didn't move. 

I touched her cheek. "Abuela?" I glanced at daddy. "She is not answering. Is she sick, daddy? Why Is she not answering me?" I was almost hysterical.

He looked down. Daddy wouldnt meet my eyes. Why wouldnt he meet my eyes?

I turned back to her and leaned forward pressing my small lips against her cold skin. Very cold skin.

I shivered. "She's cold, daddy."

Daddy was quite for a moment. I thought he hadn't heard me. But when he spoke his words more than confused me.

"Isn't she?" He gave me another kiss on my cheek. "Lets go."

"But, Abuela-"

He patted my head. Silencing me.

I looked around. There were many people. Many of them dressed in black. I looked down. Even i was wearing black. It looked horrible. Is that why no one wants to kiss me. i looked at Abuela. she looked lovely in a white dress.

All of them were staring at Abuela. They shouldn't stare. That's rude. Mommy said so when I had stared at a man who was missing a hand on the streets when we were walking to the grocery store.

And I don't think The man liked it.

But Abuela loved being stared at. That was good wasn't it? 

But then why was everyone so silent?

The heavy air settled on my shoulders and I began to thrash in daddy's arms. Something felt bad. "Abuela! I want Abuela!"

"Hush." Mommy's warm hands touched my arms.

"No," I whined and hit daddy in the head. "Abuela! I want a kiss! I always get a kiss!"

"Sweetheart..." Daddy caught my wrists and kissed them. "It's okay, Emma darling. It's alright."

I shouted even more.

My eyes caught Abuela lying on a table. I quietened down as people shifted her into a box.

"Mommy, can I go with her?" I pointed at the table.

Mommy looked horrified as she hushed me.

I watched in curiosity as people murmered goodbyes. 

I still don't get it. Why is Abuela so special today. Usually it's me people want to hold and kiss, not Abuela. She's supposed to hold me while I was cajoled and caressed.

Maybe if it was me on that table, then people would look at me and I'd get lots of kisses. I'd like that. I'd also get to wear that lovely white dress.

The men in black suits closed the box and I gasped as Abuela's face disappeared.

Then they lifted the box and carried it out.

Daddy lowered me to the ground and held my hand as we began walking.

I heard a sniff from beside me and looked up.

"Mommy?" 

She looked down at me. Her eyes red rimmed. Giving me a watery smile, she took my other hand. 

We walked into a sullen backyard. There were these dark stones placed in rows.

I didn't like them.

They were so black....

Pressing my lips together I followed the crowd as they all gathered around this huge hole in the ground.

I curiously leaned forward.

What's in that hole?

"Mommy?" I pointed at the pit. "Can i go check it out? Will I find a spider? Oh! Maybe it's a black cat!"

Mommy pushed my hand down. "Hush, Emma."

I pouted.

A man in white with this huge billowing cloth around him walked forward to the pit. He mumbled something before he nodded at the men.

At the first step the men took toward the pit with the box, i cried out.

"No, Abuela wouldn't like that!"

Mommy caught hold of my arm and lifted me up pressing a hand over my mouth.

I yelled and shouted. No no no no!

They didn't listen!

Together we watched as the cruel black men lowered sweet and loving Abuela into the black pit in the ground. 

The darkness swallowed the box. Soon we heard a loud thud as the box hit the ground.

Was Abuela hurt from being jostled?

She used to scold me every time I ran to her, saying my bones dug into her skin and it hurt her.

I promised then that I would never do it again. 

I frowned and mommy whispered, her voice breaking. "Abuela is happy, Emma. Dont fret."

But....But the hole. Abuela would never want to live in a hole.

I heard mommy break into huge sobs that racked her body. I heard dad consoling her, tucking her in under his arm and patting her back.

But all I could think was how much Abuela would want me there with her. How she would hate the darkness and the mud the men shovelled in.

As each lump of soil landed on her box, my frown just grew deeper and deeper.

Surely, Abuela would hate this. 

She always loved to have people around her and always called the neighbours in when tea was served.

She would hate to be alone.

Maybe....

Just maybe...

Maybe I should go too.