Fallen Angel

                        Fallen Angel      

The first time I saw the Devil.

The wind blew south, and the air hanged with metaphor. Fireflies stained the white sky green. Sparks lit and blood poured. The sun was on its way down and super eagles swept across the blue horizon.

I stood watching the line where heaven touched the earth. It was like the frame of a tasteful mirror rather than the glass, sitting in the background, visible to all, yet its purpose is to enhance the beauty of the picture rather than to draw attention to it.

 Immediately, I was jealous and rightfully so. Probably because I wasn't as beautiful as any of God's creation .

You see, I was born dumb not deaf .Both my legs don't work. No flowing golden curls or Brown skin; no piercing eyes of green. I was shorter than average and certainly larger than a catwalk model, but in my ordinariness I was stunning. Something radiated from within that rendered me irresistible to both genders. Men desired me and women courted my friendship. I did feel like the king of my world and utterly insignificant in the same moment.

On this day however, I wasn't too jealous. The sun had fallen and Like a woman's wispy dress that has slipped off its hanger, the city shimmered and fell in fantastic folds, not held up by anything, a discarnate iridescence limply suspended in the azure Harmattan air, gifting a sun-burst appearance.

Slowly but surely , all its beauty faded into a mist. Everything hidden between twenty- three shadings of deep blur.

 From the fog came a figure so bundled in a thick jacket that I couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman. As things turned out I was wrong on both counts. The face peeking out of the parker was a girl of about fifteen, practically a babe in arms. Her cheeks were blanched from the cold and her eyes partially obscured with caramel hair. She smiled in the way girls do when they're masking nervousness.

Her eyes scanned the area with determination in search of someone, when her eyes met mine, she smiled. She had seen a familiar face. She was safe now.

After a knock or two. She came in.

A Tap. A pause. Tap-tap. A longer pause.

"Hello is anybody home." she dialogues with the screaming silence.

 I was surprised she didn't hear the feet shuffling behind her. How convenient, not only had the power just gone out, but she managed to walk face first into me.

Before I could say a word, strong hands pushed her into a hard surface .it stung and sent swells of pain through her body. A chin rested on her shoulder, breathing out air as hot as fire on her delicate skin.

She opened her mouth to ask who it was, when the lips clamped down on her ears. They were light at first, and then it grew harder. She squirmed against my body but I was speechless.

The teeth turned into a tongue. It slide over the rim of her ear, and caused her to cry out a bit. Two hands slide down her sides and landed on her hips, just above the hem of her jeans.

She didn't know what to do. She hoped that this was a cruel joke, a dream. The lips moved down to her neck and nipped at the tender skin. I knew this would be bad. Her skin bruised so easily, of course it would leave a mark. I think she knew too, so she strained her vocals but nothing came out, still she screamed, hoping someone would hear her. Suddenly, her body wracked with raw sobs and she shook like a leaf. Fright consumed every cell in her body, swelling them with terror. With every second I practically felt the rise of her blood pressure, but I knew that this was the least of her worries.

I was furious! What the hell was happening? I couldn't understand. Who in their right minds would do such a thing to this child?

 It was like watching someone bleed-out emotionally before your eyes, never a sight to behold. I felt sick to my stomach, worse still, because I was negligible to the scene. Frozen in space, I stood still the whole time.

I had never felt so useless in my life. Neither the hero nor the villain . Cursed only to witness and never to testify. I saw the light die in her eyes and the beauty in her knees leak away.

Slowly but surely,  He took everything she thought was Treasure. Reaping where he didn't sow 

She had a hand over her mouth, the other rigidly clutching the white of her top. Her eyelids shut so tightly they began to fidget and shudder from the bullish force, as if the very corner of her eyes were being pricked with a needle, crying silent tears that ran past her plump, red cheeks and over her knuckles until finally dripping onto the floor with as much a sound as the girl's hushed agony.

He was almost done.

He turned his head and showed a ghastly face, bloodshot pallid eyes and bloodless lips. That was the first time I saw the devil. He fluttered his reptile tongue and turned his morbid eyes to me. My breath was ripped from my lungs. My eyes were heavy with unshed tears. .

I was certain, I wasn't designed for this purpose, I'm a house, suburban most likely. Built as a home, A theatre of dreams not a cave for abomination.

 Right before my eyes, Miss Bell was raped. Miss bell, As I recall , so fragile in life was stoic in death. Her once crystal clear personality had been invaded by that devils darkness. Withdrawn, Angry, sad and bitter were the only impressions she had for display.

In no time, she was a mark below jealousy; she was too inferior to excite feeling. Pardon the seeming paradox; I mean what I say. Of course she was a fine person with many brilliant attainments, but her mind became poor, her heart barren. She was no longer good; she was not original; she only repeated sounding phrases from books; she never offered, nor had, an opinion of her own. She advocated a high tone of sentiment, but she did not know the sensations of sympathy and pity; tenderness and truth were not in her.

It wasn't that she didn't like people. She just didn't like love. Any association with the emotion had been a bad one, and her body just learned to reject it, like a foreign substance. She didn’t encourage familiarity too. I don’t think I ever saw Miss Bell laugh, but she smiled often. A slow widening of her thin black lips to show even, small white teeth, then the slow effortless closing. When she chose to smile on me, I always wanted to thank her. I felt a bit relieved and glad to know that she never blamed me for what happened to her that day. With a stare or two , we shared more than our thoughts- we shared feelings. I guess I'm really not that different from any of God's creations.

 "Seeing is believing " , so nobody would ever believe her. 

"The walls have ears", is all anyone would say. But No body would believe me either.

It was clear No-one could understand us like we did each other. She was the girl who got raped by the devil. And I was the house she got raped in.

Apparently I was the home to a rapist- the devil. He turned me to a living hell. still I put a roof over his head. More often than usual He would rape the one he swore he loved. Miss bell, his step daughter.

And just like the devil, he roamed the earth looking for whom to kill and destroy. And when he was done, he came back to me for warmth and protection. It killed to think that I was his safe haven. With taller gates and security gadgets than a military compound, he must have thought he built me into a fortress. But in reality, the longer he lived in me, the more I became hell. 

Unbeknownst to anyone, On a school morning, In her finest dress, a dagger concealed, bewitchingly beautiful, she stood before Mr. John - Her mum's husband-the devil.

At her first chance she sunk the blade deep into his neck, staggering backwards into the magnified air as the walls sprayed crimson.

By dawn, she was hung, her lifeless body greeting the rising sun.

She had managed to injure him, but once a again she was the victim. She screamed silently as his white knuckles gripped her throat. For him, killing her was no worse than Shooting' a dog. 

"Of course she took her own life, she was probably depressed." I heard people say.

"Teens these days ", said one to another.

Nobody knew or would believe that I lived with a Rapist and a murderer. Stronger and stronger he grew each day. Unrepentant and seemingly immortal, there was no denying- he was the devil.

Over the years, Insanity stole into my mind like a deranged thief taking anything it saw, adding new dangerous ideas, seeding a new personality and muddling up the rest. New sparks of ideas that once I would have dismissed as bizarre started to grow roots, deep roots.

Rape after Rape, My mind was broken, my eyes swollen. My head ached. My wall-like skin stained with hate of another creature's habit. I was so full of pain, I could barely eat. My fists began to clench and my jaw rooted. Burning rage hissed through my body like deadly poison, screeching a demanded release in the form of unwanted violence. It was like a volcano erupting; fury sweeping off me like ferocious waves. The wrath consumed, engulfing my moralities and destroying the boundaries of loyalty.

I had had enough. My Actions would just have to replace these unspoken words. With my eyes lifted above, I prayed for mercy, but I was willing to settle for revenge. He came home last night with a new victim - And her shape already had the beginnings of womanhood, yet I doubt she is more than half way through her teens. She stares with that look the girls around here take, one designed not to give any emotion away.

With a smoldering stare held onto the girl that had frozen in front of him. I could feel his thoughts all gnarl together as the temptation to hurt her poisoned his bloodstream. Typically he liked it rough, she was to fight back a little but never scratch or scream. So choreographed. Her only lines were to admire his “instrument of peace" and beg for penetration, plea for her own rape. She was to start by lying on her front, pretending to sleep through the sodomy. His immaculate hunger twisting his insides as he lurched forward, pouncing at the girl with the luminous turquoise eyes. She had flouted him, the rules had been fragmented and now her chaste soul was going to pay. I could feel her squirm, her delicate frame pinned beneath his body as his actions quickened. Soon her hot blood became a dry abyss; he scooped her limp and decrepit body and trapped her beneath the solid terrain.

Before he could lift a finger, A sensed vibration of patterns bleed through my white walls. . I was surprised he didn't hear my feet shuffling behind him. He was too busy finding his glasses in the dark. Not only had the power gone out, but he had managed to walk face first into a wall.

It was the beginning of the end. The windows started singing, great pink edifices loomed, and suddenly a sunbeam, a gleam of glass, would stab him painfully in the pupil. He fell, hurtling to an invisible floor. Simultaneously, the glands around my mouth started to drain. I was going to throw up. I heaved, holding back my hair, my eyes squeezed shut. My Pipes, shapeless like varicose veins. 

 "Feet don't fail me now", I dialogued with the screaming silence. I swallowed hard. My heart pounding the whole time. I trembled from head to toe, swaying like a drunkard, shoulders hunched and breathing ragged. My foundation threw back with a loud crack and my pillars didn't communicate.

A spark . A pause. Crack-crack. A shorter pause. Then impact.

Hence I fell from the top to bottom. I was going to die with this Philistine.

The pain catches up with him, yet slow almost suspended. Then impact. He could see his bones move in a way they shouldn't. Without looking I knew there was blood seeping from skin that seconds ago was smooth. He looked at me in despair like a fallen Angel, he knew his end was here. So was mine.

As I recall, Mr. John, so vile in life, was stoic in death. As the wind blew south, the dust on our faces must have made breathing impossible.

I lay bare on the floor, as I watched the line where heaven touched the earth. Fireflies spread burnt colors across a listless sky, turning it from beauty into Divine.

Sparks lit and blood poured. The sun was on its way down. There was something satisfying about seeing out my day in the fresh air, under God's heaven, feeling like the king of my world and utterly insignificant in the same moment.

Slowly but surely, all my beauty faded into a mist. Everything hidden between twenty- three shadings of deep blur.