Guilty

I remember the first time I met Alicia, I was working late at my uncle’s diner. It was the perfect little place for, cars to come in and have a bite. The night’s cool breeze blew through the empty diner, while I was scrubbing down the dirty tables with a fresh rag. I turned up the radio to 50 and had a little jam session while I did my task. I was closing up tonight and if my uncle Fred saw even a little speck of jam on the counter I knew he would flip. I kept the door open a little just so I didn’t feel so lonely. At that time I was, so awfully lonely. For some reason I never thought that from an onlooker a small 18 year old waitress, would be the perfect prey. I returned the now dirty rag to the sink and went to the front to organize the pastry tins, my back facing the door. I was so immersed in my task that I didn’t hear the man approaching the door, I didn’t hear his heavy boots stomping its way over or feel his menacing gaze through the big windows. When he opened the door, I couldn’t even hear the tiny jingle from the bell. But when I suddenly became aware of my surroundings it all happened so fast. The hairs on my back stood up. I turned around to the sight of a .38 Caliber pointed directly at my head. My heart fell to the floor. What does it even feel like to stare in to the eyes of death? I couldn’t tell you, in that moment I blacked out. However behind the brown mask I remember seeing those, painfully bleak eyes. He was 2 times bigger than me, granted I was only 5 foot 1 and held the gun with no fear. He told me to give him all the money in the cashier. I hesitated to move, worried that any sudden move would result in my brain being splat all over the counter. He brought the gun closer to my head and said: “Do you want to die… DO YOU WANT TO DIE?” He shook with pure anger. I walked to the register and emptied it all out, I didn’t leave a penny unaccounted for. When I handed it to him, he yelled again: “PUT YOU’RE HANDS ON YOU’RE HEAD AND TURN AROUND”. I did. Shaken to my very core. I remember thinking: ‘Whatever happens in these final moments is alright, death is alright’. I held my breath and heard him cock his gun. My heart beat out of my chest, and gasped for tiny little breaths of air. My body was numb, ice cold my head was empty. Then I heard a shot. 

For a second the world went black… a second later I heard a loud thud on the floor. It… It wasn’t me. My body was still tense, the air around me was still cold yet I wasn’t dead but it felt like I was still about to be. Then I heard a voice:

“Holy F***k”

It was a woman’s. 

“Turn around” she said

I let out a slow, shaky breath before slowly turning around and my hands down. At the door was a woman, probably early twenties. She had short ginger hair, a tall slim physic and the largest gun I had ever seen. Her clothes were a little old and worn out now splattered with little drops of blood, and her face was pale and sunken. After starring at her I finally uttered my first words to her. 

“Where is he” I said quietly

She looked at the floor and smiled. I peered over the counter and there he was. The beast. His body sprawled on the floor, his mouth wide open, his gun on the floor, blood leaking out. 

“Why are you smiling?”I asked worryingly 

“2 years… it took 2 years” she said sighing while putting her gun down on the table and sitting down

“You just—”I started

“I couldn’t see him do it to another person” 

“Another?”

“Yeah” she said, rubbing her face with her hands. I looked behind her to see a small black SUV, I assumed that they must have been partners. 

“Um” I said, looking back at her

“Yeah” she said looking at me

“That um, god… um”

“Crazy”

“You just shot him” I said looking down at him

“I just shot him”

“...just shot him”

“Yeah”

We paused for a second.

“I’m Alicia”

I looked up at her. Was she crazy? Introducing herself after she just killed someone? Do I want to talk to a murderer?

“I’m Vienna”

“Like the sausage?” She asked

“What… um… no… but I do get that a lot” I said easing up 

“Interesting” she said looking back down at the body. I knew that she was terrified. 

“So what do we—“ we both started

We looked up at each other. 

“Jinx?” She said slowly, with a smile

“Yeah um… what do we do now?” I said shaking my head

“Police?”

“Yeah’ I said, I remember about to move before asking her another question

“How do I know you won’t shoot me” I asked tensing up again. She let out a little giggle. 

“Don’t worry” she said as she got up and let and gun on the counter. “C’mon don’t be worried, I wouldn’t want to end up behind bars after just being freed”

“Okay” I said as I slowly reached for the phone. 

“9-1-1 what’s you’re emergency?”

———————-

Alicia and I sat there for a couple of minutes waiting for the police to arrive. This is when I feel we really got to know each other. We really began to understand each other. Strange way to make a friend, let alone a best friend—I know. She told me bits and parts of her life and I told her some of mine. When we heard the siren, she made me promise her to visit her in jail. I nodded, thinking ‘I owe it to her, I doubt she has anyone’. She was cuffed and taken to jail. But in-between court meetings etc, we had our moments to converse. Let me tell you I have never met anyone so full of life. An abusive relationship with a sketchy guy led her here. For someone who had their life taken away for 2 years it was as if she was any normal human. I actually remember being so nervous in court but her smile just made me feel so much better. It was strange but so comforting. She was sentenced to 5 years, for possession of drugs, manslaughter etc. So yes, she was indeed a criminal. Yet every time I came to visit her, she was nothing but smiles. I probably should have stopped talking to her, but there was something about her that drew me in. 

“So hows it going” I said, to her behind the glass screen

“Not bad, not bad. Susan finally shut up after I gave her some of my lunch so that good” 

I smiled. A brief pause. “Whats wrong”

“Alicia, I still feel…so guilty” I sighed putting my hand on my head

“Don’t, I chose to step in. C’mon girl” she said as she put her hand on the glass

“No I just—“

“Maybe what I am about to say will make you feel better”

“What”

“What?” she said mockingly 

“No seriously what” I laughed

Her face suddenly got so serious. She bit her lip, staring at the guard and back at me. Her eyes locked with mine, they looked concentrated but not cold more worried. She opened her mouth and said

“Bullock and Gimes intersection, name under Taylor Simone, pin 2546. Go to teller Mike Hillbury.”

My eyes widened

“Are you asking me to take—“ I whispered

“Yes, you don’t need a card. He knows who you are”

“You want me to take the—“

“Uhhh buh buh buh buh” she said eyeing the guard, she flashed the suspicious guard a fake smile.

I just stared at her. Truly in that moment I was confused. What was she asking me? Why was she asking me? The room got a little colder, a little smaller. I looked at the other people in their stalls, I wondered if they were also being asked to do something illegal. 

“Can you do that?” She asked smiling hopefully 

“This is from—-“ I leaned in closer “The gang money?”

She giggled

“Can you not call it that, you sound so juvenile” she laughed. I sighed. “Hey, it will be alright ok?”

“How much?”I mumbled

“You know what I’m craving?”

“What?”

“Oreos”

“What”

“I could eat like, 7 oreos”

“Alicia what are you—“

“SEVEN oreos”

“Seven… what… huh? Wait… ohhhh” I nodded

“Maybe I could get so fat… They would let me out of here” she said slowly, eyeing the guard again

“Ok?” I said. Another pause

“2546”

“Ok… ok… I got it”

“I miss you”

“See you” I said, before hanging up the phone and getting the hell out of there. 

I walked to my car, with such a nasty shiver down my spine. Nasty. I was about to become a criminal. I was about to become a criminal. 

2 days later I found myself outside the bank. I stared at the glass doors. I made sure to wear something super lokey, black leggings and a black sweatshirt. Not memorable, nothing to look at.

After I walked in and asked they led me to a small man with his hair was slicked back and a suit nicely pressed.

“Hello... Taylor?” he said calmly

“Hello… Mike”

“Nice to see you again, how may I help you” he said. I couldn’t believe it, he was a criminal too! He was in the gang thing, robbery drug thing. Someone from the bank!

“I need um… seven oreos” I said hesitantly. Giving a slight smile

“Sorry? I don’t know what that means” He questioned.

“Seven oreos, um” I said shakely, I was dripping cold sweat. Oh man, I remember being so worried, I almost pissed my pants

“Taylor, what does that mean”

“… think about it” I said very slowly

His puzzled face turned clear

“2-5” he said quietly he said leaning in. I tensed up again

“4…6” I said slowly. He nodded and walked out of the office. I let out a huge breath, thinking that this nightmare was almost over. He walked back in and handed me a beige envelope. I remember not even looking back up, I just stuffed the money in my purse and scrammed.

It all made no sense. Who is she… just… ugh… man. I was so new to this at the time. I honestly didn’t even know the full case. All I knew is that Alicia needed this. 

I got in my car and sped the heck home. I didn’t even remember how I got to my front step, when I did I put a envelope under my dresser. I stared at myself in the mirror for a good 10 minutes. At the time I was in a 1 bedroom apartment. My uncle used to send me money and thats how I would pay for the majority of it. My parents died when I was 2 years old so leaving my one sole guardian was hard but necessary. I just didn’t want to be there anymore. 

The following week, I went to visit her again. 

“Heyyyy” she said 

“Hey”

“Whats wrong? C’mon that wasn’t that bad”

“Whatever, it really freaked me out ok”

“Are you mad?”

“Kind of”

“I’m sorry ok”

“Fine whatever”

“Seriously, are you ok” she said touching the glass

“Yah yah” I said rolling my eyes

“I still need you to do one more thing

“What”

“Give the money to Gary”

“Your lawyer?”

“He’ll know what to do”

“Seriously?”

“Yes” she said nodding her head. Another pause. “If you don’t feel comfortable thats fine”

“No its whatever, just don’t get me involved in this anymore”

“Promise”

“I’m serious ok, I’m risking it all”

“Promise” she said smiling. I noticed her hand was still on the glass. 

I made sure to remember that when I pulled up to Gary’s house, I almost had a panic attack. It was quite a nice house actually, I never came up there before that time so I worried I might have knocked at the wrong house. But sure enough there he was granted in his robe and drawers but there he was. He looked the same as he did a year before. 

“Hello Vienna” he said, his disgruntled face looked at me up and down.

“Hello Gary, I am here on behalf of Alicia” I said, I tried to seem confident but I remember having a terrible tremble in my voice

“Alright…” he said looking behind me. An awkward silence passed. I began to pull the envelope out. I remember his reaction all too well. He quickly pulled me inside and locked the doors and tightened his robe

“Oh my god” I said, my eyes were bulging out of my head

“What are you doing?!”

“I don’t know she she she said give you the thing and you would”

“No no no, people could see you. Give it to me” he said sighing, he grabbed the money out of my hand and counted. “Good leave”

“Sorry?”

“Leave now”

“You don’t want them to find out about you”

“The gang?”

He looked at me puzzled

“What gang”

“The gang she’s in… isn’t she in a gang. Thats what was said”

He gave a little chuckle

“Oh man, rookie”

“So theres no gang?”

“Bye bye” he said as he pushed me out the door. I stood out there, completely stunned. I was in this web of confusion, hurt and fear. 

I didn’t come to visit her for a while. It was weird actually, we had been pretty good friends since the moment she saved my life and in some twisted way I missed her. Some weird twisted way. During this time I was so paranoid, I added new locks to my doors, I changed up my hair and even my name. I went a little crazy actually. For months and months I waited for some sign that she was ok. Even if I didn’t want to see her. 

One day after a long days work at my sad minimum wage job, I saw her. Outside my apartment. Outside. Of. It. She turned her head and gave me a little smile.

“Heyyy”

“Oh my god”

“Give a hug… actually can I have sip of water first I’m thirsty?”

I led her in and gave her a cup. I know what you’re thinking, why, why would I let a criminal in my home. But in the moment all I saw was… Alicia. 

“So”

“So I know that Gary spilled the beans”

“Yeah”

“Yes, I’m in a crime family”

“WHAT THE F***!!!” I shouted

“Hey hey hey I thought you knew this”

“Not this, I did NOT know this”

“Dammit Gary”

“You’re You’re”

“Yes, Alicia Newuvosi member of the Newuvosi crime family”

“But what about”

“He was my brother, not my boyfriend”

“WTF he was but in court you”

“He wanted to go his separate way and somehow talked me in to it”

“Oh my god”

“After 4 years we were almost bankrupt, the family had made sure to cut off all our vendors and clients”

“Oh my god”

“Then he started robbing, houses, small shops you name it. I couldn’t take it anymore” she said looking at the ground

“Oh my god”

“I couldn’t take it” she looked up “I know that this is insane and doesn’t make any sense at all, but you have to believe me… you’re the only real friend I have”

“Ok” I said softly, looking at the ground. I couldn’t collect my thoughts. 

“Mike and Gary are just old friends of my family’s, they cut off ties a little while ago. They always liked me I think” she said giving a light chuckle “Taylor Simone is just a fake name we used to use”

“Ok…” 

A brief moment silence passed. I looked up from the ground. 

“So then what are you doing here” I said finally

“I wanted to thank you, so much. Honestly, I don’t even know how to repay you.”

“Its um—“ I start

“But I dooo” she said in a singsong voice

“What”

“How does some cash sound?”

“So you’re back in the family?” I asked

“More or less, its a work in progress. After my parents died they always looked at me funny, to be honest. Me and my brother never fit in”

"When did they die?"

"They went to the country side and wanted to start a new life with the family, including us. Someone found them and took a hit on them when I was 5"

My heart started to beat faster again. Sweat pooled on my forehead.

“Wait money for me?” I said, quickly changing the subject

“All for you” she smiled as she pulled out an envelope

“Oh my god Alicia”

“Buh buh buh its okay”

“No no I can’t accept it, this is crime money and stuff I can’t be involved in this”

“C’mon”

“Alicia”

“Fine fine”

Silence

“Thanks for visiting” I said getting up

“Thanks for even letting me in” she said also standing up “Tell me if you ever need help”

“How do you know I’m not going to turn you in”

“C’mon we’re friends right?” She said smiling at me 

“Friends” I said before waving and closing the door. 

I stayed there for another 3 months trying to wrap my head around everything before moving back with... Fred. Good ol' Fred. I just had too many unanswered questions.