“Briinnnngggg!” The school bell rang.
I ran out of the class with my backpack (My oversized backpack) in my hands.
People were being trampled and tripped over. All you could hear were the screams of everyone in my boring middle school.
“Whoah!” I tripped over my own shoelace. I fell onto the hard ground and was trampled over many, many times.
I tried to stand up but I couldn’t with all of the tiny little feet in the school hallway.
Finally, I got up somehow, and tried to get out of the messy middle school hallway.
“There's nothing that kids like more than a clean campus on the last day of school.” Mr. Jose (Our school janitor) blabbed.
The teachers pushed the school doors open and everyone came rushing out.
Poor janitor.
All of the papers and exams flew away right onto the front of the school, making the front messy again.
I trampled down the stairs trying not to trip again.
And it was just my luck that I did trip again. But this time it was worse than the other.
I fell right onto the janitor and knocked him over. My face hit his and let me tell you, it was not fun at all.
I climbed off of him and accidentally stepped on his belly while I was at it.
I think that I knocked the air out of him because all he was doing was laying there, looking petrified.
“Eugh!” I ran off to the bus and hopped on.
Our bus driver, Steve, was just a grumpy old man who needed a job, and well, he got one.
I sat down in seat 14 where I met my friend Natalie.
“Hey Natalie!” I blurted
“Hi Andrea. How was your day?” She asked me
“It was good. Except for the fact that I landed on the janitor and tripped over my shoelaces in the hall, It was a-okay. How was your day?” I asked her.
“It did not go well. I was in the bathroom pooping, and there was no toilet paper! I couldn’t wipe my butt. I had to yell in the bathroom to see if…” She rambled on.
I just couldn't stop thinking about Lucy.
When I was little, we were playing popcorn on the trampoline and she bounced me too high and I fell out of the net and broke my arm.
Suddenly my mind went blank and I closed my eyes.
Suddenly I could see again but I was on a different bus. I was looking out of someone's eyes.
“And then she flew off and it was so great! I broke her arm and it was so fun. I told her that I didn’t mean to but I totally did!” I heard Lucy’s high nasal voice cut through the air.
“What was this?” I thought. “Am I in another universe?” My mind stirred with thoughts like a kitchen mixer.
And suddenly it went dark again. I felt like I was being pulled back into reality. To my real life.
“Andrea! Andrea wake up!” I could hear Natiles' voice faintly as I opened my eyes.
“Huh? What happened? Am I alive?” I thought.
“You passed out, Andrea!” She cried out.
“I did? I-I-didn’t know.” I rambled off.
“I was seeing through Lucy’s eyes, Natalie. This is serious Natalie.” I told her.
“There's no way you saw out of her eyes. I guess when you passed out you just dreamt it. There's no way you actually saw out of Lucy’s eyes. Unless..oh my god.” She trembled.
“We need to go now!” She yelled at me.
“W-w-why?” I stammered.
“Because! We need to get off this bus now! You're not safe here!” She implied.
“Excuse me! Bus driver man..guy? Stop the bus!” I heard Natalie scream to the front.
I leaned over and saw him pick up the microphone.
“Sit down! Next stop you can get off you little brat! Now get back in your seat!”
She sat down next to me and told me it was all going to be okay.
“Just don’t think about your dad.” She told me.
Well that just made me think about him. My dad lives in Australia and has since I was two and now I am eleven.
I drifted off again, and everything went black. A few moments later I saw through someone's eyes. It was my dad's eyes!
But all I could see were ropes with people connected to them by the neck.
They were being hung.
But if I was in my dad's eyes then why was he staring at people getting hung?
“Arghhh! Please someone help me! Anybody!” I could hear him yell.
But nobody came. Not a single living soul out there except for him.
What was happening? Why was my dad being hung?
But then I remembered the homeless man on the side of the road.
I could hear his words playing in my mind over and over.
“If you don’t pay me then you’ll suffer for all eternity.” I heard his old man's voice say.
Was my dad in…?
I woke up in the hospital and started to breathe heavily.
In the corner was my mom, reading one of her favorite books. Titanic.
I thought of Jack and Rose but forced myself not to think hard about them.
“Hey mom.” I barely managed to get out.
“Sweetheart! I’m so glad to see that you're alive!” She screamed, then gave me a big hug.
“Well I bet you wouldn’t be glad to see me dead.” I murmured.
“Yeah. Of course not. Wait what?” She wept, wiping away tears.
“I better go get the doctor for you and tell him that you are awake!”
“Wait, mom. I need to talk to you. It's very important.”
“Yeah what is it honey?”
“So you know how Christmas is coming up soon?”
“Yeah what is it?”
“Is dad going to come back for this christmas?”
“No sweetheart, sorry, he still has work.”
“But...dads dead.”
“Oh my god. I need to get the doctor here immediately.”
She reached over to the button that would beep the doctor's watch and get him to come.
I held up my hand and stopped her before she could press it.
“Mom.”
“What!”
“Is...dad...dead?”
You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.
17 comments
There you go!
Reply
I HAVE BEEN DOWNVOTED!!!!!!! I HAD ABOUT 1100+ POINTS, AND NOW I AM LEFT AT 660+.... PLEASE HELP ME, MY REEDSY FRIENDS STOP DOWNVOTING NOW!!!!!
Reply
bruhhhhhh
Reply
-_-
Reply
(.y.)
Reply
I felt this was a good story. Also, where she meets Natalie on the bus, she said "I couldn't stop thinking about Lucy." But you never actually told us who Lucy was. Also, why did Natalie say "Don't think about your dad." Did she know he was dead? IS he dead? There were just a lot of unexplained parts in your book that needed to be explained to make sense. I also hope there will be a second part to this so I get my questions answered. :) -Bella
Reply
this was way to good!
Reply
Thank you, Noor!
Reply
Please make a second one?!
Reply
Already did! You should go ahead and read it!
Reply
Okay then...ngl, this was a bit hard to follow. It was so fast paced and jump, kinda like a run-on sentence... They were at school then they were on the bus nextly a weird thing happens then they're in the hospital and then her dad might be dead. See what I mean? Anyway, very interesting way to follow the prompt, and I like how even the characters don't know what's happening. There were several errors, and besides them, there were some areas that can be improved, like setting descriptions, character development, and slowing down your spee...
Reply
I agree with Wolf Warrior, it was a very fast paced story. It was also a little hard to follow who was talking. If it's the same person talking, leave it attached to the same line. I'm ready for part two as well.
Reply
If you want Beckin to see this comment, you should send it to him not me
Reply
My school bell rings like ARRRRRR And it scares away the army. After a few day you start to wonder why the army arrived at my school in the first place.
Reply
Oh no! Let me help you!
Reply
I'd really love if you left some in-depth critque on this story!
Reply
Don't worry, Bella! There is a part two coming soon!
Reply