The last day

Jesus, what a year. That's was her first thought the moment she opened her eyes. It was New Year's Eve and Jade couldn't believe that 2021 was finally over. 

With all the shit she had to bear with over the last 12 months, she was sure that something would happen that day too. Because the most difficult year must have been difficult until the end. That's why she decided to stay home that night. 

"Come on, Jade you can't - you won't - be alone on new year's eve! It's just too sad" said Mel, her best friend, when she refused to go to her party that night. "Mel, I can't bear another problem. Not today too. I cannot think about one single day I spent without a problem to solve this year. I need to enter the new year with calm and relaxation," she answered. Mel sighed at the phone. "Okay, then. I'll come to your house," she said. The cup of coffee Jade was filling almost tumble down when she heard those words. "Mel, please! You'll have guests! You can't cancel last minute!" replied Jade. She didn't want her best friend to cancel her plans because of her. Another attempt of that year to ruin everything until the end. See? She knew. 

"Okay," sighed Jade, in the end, "I'll come. Don't change your plans for me". Mel was so happy she could imagine her jumping around her house. "Yay!!!" she yelled at her on the phone. 

Sparkling decorations with the number "2022" were everywhere. Mel's house was big, and even though there were at least 50 people, the living room seemed almost empty. Jade knew a few people, but she wasn't in the mood for futile conversations. The only thing she could think of was the end of that awful year and the beginning of the new one, which would have brought a fresh start for her, too. 

"Nice party, huh?" said a voice behind her. Jade turned around and saw James looking at her. She didn't see him in months. It has been, what? Almost six months since he moved out from their life together? 

"Jade..." he continued, trying to move closer. Jade took a step back, incapable of speaking. All the pain that she had to face in the last months hit her again all at once. She didn't understand why Mel, the only person she considered a true friend, invited him. She didn't know if she was madder at Mel or James. "Why are you here?" she finally asked him. "Mel's invited me. She told me you're...leaving" he said. James couldn't look at her in the eyes; he almost seemed...embarrassed. Why Mel had told him that she was leaving? Jade was so angry. She could feel her eyes filling with tears, but she didn't want him to see her cry. "No," she said, "I will not enter the new year with you. I won't. I'm leaving. Goodbye". She turned around, left her glass of wine on the table, and moved toward the door as fast as she could. "Jade please!" she felt a hand take her arm and block her. "Let me go right now," she said to James, who wasn't leaving her arm. She was trying to stay calm, but it was so difficult. All the anger she buried for the last six months was about to explode. James left her arm and take a step back, raising his hands in resignation. "You left me and broke my heart in thousand of pieces. Now you have the nerve to come to my best friend's party to say what? You're sorry? You miss me? What you want?!" she was yelling at him so loud that everyone in the room stopped talking. "Jade..." he wanted to say something, but she started again. "Jade, Jade! I don't want to know anything about you! I can't even look at you! That's why I'm moving to another city, where you are not in it!" she said. Then she felt another hand, now on her shoulder. "Honey, come here. Let's go in my room for a second, will you?". Mel take her hands and guided her to the room. "I can't believe you invited him! How could you?" Jade said to her friend, crying. "I'm so sorry, darling. I just thought that maybe you were ready to face him..." she said. Jade was so furious at her, too. "It wasn't your call! You should've asked me first, don't you think? I'm so sick of everyone's telling me what to do or how to feel!" she was still yelling, but she didn't care. "I had to face the impossible, this year. I lost my job, a pandemic exploded, and what did he do? He left me because he wasn't happy, anymore! So, I had to deal with a pandemic and quarantine all by myself! Do you know how depressed I was? Do you know how many times I wished to never wake up again?". She wasn't able to pretend she was fine anymore. Mel was crying and watching at her, unable to say anything to her. "I'm so sorry, Jade. I didn't know how much you suffered because of him! Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, hugging her. Jade lost herself in her hug and cried more and more. "I told you I had to stay home!" she said when she felt calmer. "No, honey. You needed to face this pain before moving forward. Now you're really ready to go on with your life and do anything!" Mel said, shaking her hands and looking her in the eyes. Jade nodded because she knew her friend was right. "Okay. I'm going to apologize to James now. You're right, I needed to say those things. Not only at loud, but at him". 

James was sitting on the couch, watching his phone. He seemed so lonely. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to yell at you like that. I guess I just was so tired..." Jade said, approaching him. James smiled at her and asked her to sit beside him. "I'm sorry too. I never should've left you like that. Especially during that time...I was so selfish. I'm really sorry, I hope you'll forgive me one day," he said. Jade looked at him closely. She imagined that moment so many times, but now she didn't know what to do. There was just one thing she was certain of: she couldn't come back with him, again. Not now, not ever. "I accept your apologies, and I will forgive you one day. Maybe not today, but I will. There's something I need to say to you, though" she replied. Jade finally understood how much that pain actually helped her. She couldn't believe she didn't realize it until that moment. James looked at her, waiting. "I must thank you. It's really difficult for me to say that, but you actually helped me. Our breakup destroyed me, but now I know myself better than ever." She was so proud of herself, in that moment. James looked at her and smiled. Then, suddenly, everyone in the room started screaming the countdown. She realized how strong she was, and how much power she had in herself, and everything just in time for the start of the new year. Maybe the awful year that had just passed wasn't that bad, after all. But she was so happy the new year finally arrived. Because with it, her new life was just about to begin.