That Artemas guy sure can sing

Don’t come over, don’t come over. Fuck.

“Hi, wow you look amazing! That dress is stunning, just…so beautiful.”

“Thank you darling, it's so good to see you. I thought you left the city years ago.”

“No, I live here. I work at-”

“Remember spring break in Bushy Creek? Where does the time go?”

“I remember you stole my boyfriend and left me alone in the woods, soaking wet.”

“How we laughed, you were a wild one.”

“A bear chased me up a tree.”

“Oh darling, don't be so dramatic. Bears can’t climb.”

I swear if this cunt says one more word i’ll go postal 2 on her ass. Oh thank you Jesus this is my chance. Those flower baskets are cute. The colors match the furniture, impressive. There we go this is my stop.

“What can I get you mam?”

Mam?! You little punk…”

“It’s miss actually. I’ll have an < insert girly drink here > with ice. 

“Here you go. Sorry about earlier. I should have glanced at your hand.”

“Not a problem. I see you're not married either.”

“I’m still in college. I’m hoping one day to be an architect.”

A tall, cute architect.

“Do you work weddings on the weekend?”

“Weddings, funerals you name it. People like to drink.”

“You make a mean cocktail…”

“Steven. Nice to meet you.”

“Alice, a pleasure.”

Such soft hands, who would have thought. And they're so big, my oh my.

“Are you here with your boyfriend?”

“I’m single actually. The bride is a good friend of mine, we grew up together, went to the same highschool, same college, and live two blocks from each other.”

“You two must be close. Are you happy for her?”

“Of course, it’s such a silly question. We’ll still be friends. Perhaps we won't do karaoke that often.”

“I freaking love karaoke. We should duet sometime.”

I still got it. He’s so cute I just wanna pinch those little dimples.

“Your girlfriend won’t mind?”

“She doesn’t have to find out.”

Dammit I knew it. How dare he, this little shit, this worm, this scumbag

“Sike! I’m single too. You should see your face.”

“Oh, ha-ha you got me good.”

You should see your face after I ride it, boy.

“Here’s my number and a tip. I’ll see you around Steven.”

“Thank you Alice. Next time the tip is on me. But if I play my cards right perhaps I’ll give you the whole thing?”

OMG stop blushing. I better get out of here before I stain my panties. God, I hope he calls tonight. 

“Alice, over here. Look at that waist, what is your secret?”

“Stop, I've gained two pounds this vacation. Curse those all-inclusive deals.”

“Honey, they went to your tits, look at those perky things. Girl you dangerous, I have to hide my man from you.”

“How is Derek? Last time we talked he worked at that fancy clinic on Bypass Avenue.”

“My little doctor is now chief cardiologist at Big Central Hospital. I’m so lucky I get to spend his money all day.”

“I’m happy for you two.”

“There’s three of us now. Look, little Derek Jr taking his first steps. Here he is with his dad in the pool.”

“How did you get Derek to swim? I remember he hated getting wet.”

“It’s amazing what you will do for your kids. Speaking of, when are you gonna have a few of your own?”

“Not before I get married I hope. Still waiting for Mr Right to come and sweep me off my feet.”

“I know you’ll find a good man. I have a six sense about these things, you have a bright orange aura around you.”

“Can we make it pink? Orange is not really my thing.”

“I think you look great in orange.”

“Sandra?! Hi, congratulations. Your wedding is beautiful.”

“I'll let you two catch up. I'm gonna get me a drink from that cute kid at the bar.”

“I'm so happy you came, I know how you hate weddings.”

“Are you kidding me? There's no place I'd rather be than at my best friend's wedding. You look gorgeous, like an 80s princess.”

“I can see why you got the editor job. How's that working out?”

“It's been the best two weeks of my life. We have to catch up but right now you need to get back in bride-mode. Are you dancing soon?”

“Jack is on his way. He texted traffic is horrible but will be there soon half hour ago. I wish I could call him but I left my purse at my parents table. “

“The one with the old folks who grab your hand and talk your ear off? Don't worry I've got you. Here, use mine.”

“Nothing, keeps going to voicemail.’

“Dammit, I was sure he'd pick up for me.”

“Me too, what guy doesn't fantasise about sleeping with their girl’s best friend?”

“His frat bros probably hired a stripper or something. You know how those guys are. Oh someone is waving you over. Keep the phone, maybe he'll call back.”

“Thanks, I'll see you soon.”

What a lovely garden. This place has such class. This would work perfectly with the autumn catalogue. I could move those plants in the gazebo, hang some lights on the beams. It's missing a rose bush. I could probably talk to a gardener to plant a few tiny pink and white…

“What's wrong? Sandra what happened, stop crying I can't understand you. Did Jack call? Sit down and have some water. Sandra, I can't understand a word you're saying: calm down. Just breathe… Did something happen to Jack? Give me the phone I'll just-”

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Alice. I thought it was Jack and it was noisy inside.”

“Calm down, it's alright, everything is going to be fine.”

“No it's not. I couldn't hear him well and by the time I could understand your father and he understood who was speaking I just… I'm so,so sorry.”

“Oh, no please. Mom.”