Don't Give Up

I never once thought about life outside of my home, outside of my loved ones, outside of all things familiar and safe. Perhaps I was sheltered, perhaps I needed to get out more, but perhaps I was perfectly ok with that awareness, because I knew what was to come. Unlike the feeling of dread, fear, and uncertainty that is invading my body at this very moment, looking into nothingness and nothingness looking right through me to my fragile soul. The dark was just waiting for the precise moment to swallow me whole and never be seen again by the people whom I hold dear. Lord, I promise you, if I make it out of this tree-laden maze, I will listen and pay attention. I'm so scared and I'm unsure of what's to come. I want my family.

The smell of homemade chocolate cake danced through the air and instantly woke me up from my after-school nap. Mom had promised to make my favorite dessert in celebration of completing 7th grade with flying colors. I immediately jumped up out of bed, clumsily threw my slippers on, and darted down the stairs to welcome my prize with open arms, but as I was descending, the stairs began to give way and the warmth I felt coming from the kitchen morphed into a blast of frigid air, which violently shook me awake. I sat straight up, my eyes darting left and right, to only realize it was a dream and my reality was here in this dark forest. I attempted to stand up but my feet were so cold, I could barely move my toes. I winced in pain. After panicking for a second, I remembered my bookbag was tucked under me to supply a layer of protection between me and the ground. I frantically opened the bookbag to grab a small sweater. I pulled my legs in towards me and immediately wrapped the sweater around my feet in hopes of bringing them back to life. Afterwards, I incessantly rocked back and forth to calm the few jittery nerves I had left and to generate at least a bit of body heat, but nothing was working and I felt I was running out of time. I didn't have my phone any longer because I dropped it the day before attempting to chase a sound I heard that resembled laughter, movement, and chatter. After running for so long, I became exhausted and dropped to my knees. I figured my imagination was on overdrive and what I heard was nothing but a manifestation of my hopes and prayers of finding the people who loved me.

It felt like days passed and nights lingered. My stomach constantly reminded me of how much I missed my mother's homecooking and sharp pains of emptiness followed soon after. I've watched shows when people get lost and they somehow manage to track down a bird, deer, or another type of prey to feast on, but I'm young. I never paid attention to those shows. It was always for entertainment, not for study. Now I'm wishing I paid attention, or at least took mental notes.

As she sat deep in her thoughts, despondent and feeling desperate, she threw up her shivering hands to the sky in a plea to God to rescue her from this misery. When her arms began to tire, her desperation immediately turned to anger. She was a good kid and she got good grades in school, so why would God allow this to happen to her? Why? She obeyed her parents, so why is she being punished? Slowly, her anger turned to sadness and her heavy heart forced her to sleep.

The next morning, she woke up with a pounding headache. In the midst of her emotions and unexpected slumber, she forgot to put her hat on and wrap her head with a scarf. Barely able to open her eyes, she lay back against a nearby tree and fantasized about the moment she would reunite with her family. Would it be during the day? What would they smell like? How would she react to seeing them? All of these questions that were running through her mind helped her to focus on hopefulness rather than her bleak existence, which, in turn, helped to alleviate her headache. When she opened her eyes, she was greeted by the sun's glare and its gentle warmth. The brightness of the new day gave her a renewed sense of expectation and she gathered all of her belongings and began walking. She didn't know which path to take, but she hoped her heart and intuition were leading her to the right place.

She walked for a length of time, only stopping to check her surroundings. Even though she was exhausted, starving, and severely frostbitten, she tirelessly trudged up and down hills with the ultimate goal of rescuing herself from the chains of this forest. She had kept herself alive for this long, she wasn't going to stop now.

While walking, she unintentionally began to hum a song her mother sang to her every single night when she was little. Now that she was older, her mom would playfully poke her and hum that same song she felt she was too old for. Every time, she would roll her eyes and poke her mom back, but always ended up laughing at how much she really adored that song, even at her "mature" age. She now yearned to hear the melody of her mom's voice and the faint ouch feeling from her playful poke.

Still on a mission to continue and deep in physical anguish, she didn't realize the yelling and barking dogs coming from the far side of the forest. Almost in a trance-like state, she mindlessly kept walking towards the sun. The hand that reached out to grab her jolted her out of her frozen state and she turned her head to see her dad's worried face examining her from head to toe. In the midst of her bewilderment and surprise, she couldn't hear the loudness of the people around her nor the sounds of the ice crackling and crunching underneath everyone's feet. Her mother's voice pierced the deafening quiet. When she heard "Farrah," she quickly turned in her mother's direction, falling helplessly into her loving arms. Farrah tried to say something, but her mother quieted her. She closed her eyes and fully embraced the warmth she desperately searched for and whispered, "I'm home" to herself.