Echoes on the Line

1998

Phone ringing.

Click.

Leslie- Hello?

Todd- Hey, Leslie … It’s me.

Leslie- pauses Todd?

Todd- Yeah. I wasn’t sure you’d pick up. I wasn’t even sure this was still your number.

Leslie- It’s been years. How did you — why are you calling?

Todd- I found your number in an old notebook while cleaning up. You know how nostalgia gets you sometimes. I don’t even know if this was a good idea, but I had to try.

Leslie- Nostalgia, huh? Didn’t think I’d be part of your nostalgia trip.

Todd- That’s not fair. We were friends for a long time, Leslie.

Leslie- laughs dryly Friends. That’s what we were?

Todd- I… I know things ended badly. Look, I’m not calling to dredge up the past. I just wanted to hear your voice. Maybe see how you’re doing.

Leslie- My voice? After five years? You didn’t want to hear it back when it mattered.

Todd- I deserve that. I do. But could you let me explain?

Leslie- Explain? Now? I spent years waiting for that explanation, Todd. You disappeared — poof — just like that. No calls, no letters. Nothing. You left me hanging.

Todd- I know. I know I did. And I regret it every single day.

Leslie- sighs Regret doesn’t change anything.

Todd- You’re right. It doesn’t. But you deserve to know why I left.

Leslie- pause Fine. I’ll bite. Why? Why did you walk out on me? On everything?

Todd- My mom… She was sick. Cancer. I didn’t know how to deal with it. I panicked. She didn’t have much time left, and I couldn’t juggle everything — us, school, her. I didn’t want to burden you, so I just… shut down.

Leslie- You could’ve told me. I would’ve been there for you.

Todd- I was scared, Leslie. You were always so strong, and I felt like I wasn’t enough. Like I didn’t deserve you.

Leslie- voice softens Todd, you idiot. That’s what being in someone’s life is about. You lean on each other when things get hard. You don’t just walk away.

Todd- I realize that now. Back then, I thought I was protecting you. But all I did was hurt you.

Leslie- quiet for a moment How’s your mom?

Todd- She passed two months after I left. I spent those weeks with her. Every moment. But when it was over… I didn’t know how to come back. I’d burned every bridge.

Leslie- You could’ve tried. I would’ve listened.

Todd- I see that now. I’ve played this conversation in my head a thousand times over the years, and every version ends with me screwing up. Like I always do.

Leslie- You were young. We both were. People screw up.

Todd- You’re being kinder than I deserve.

Leslie- Don’t get used to it. I’m still mad at you.

Todd- Fair. So… how are you? Really?

Leslie- sighs I’m okay. Working as a paralegal now. Nothing glamorous, but it pays the bills. What about you?

Todd- I run a small bookstore in Denver. It’s nothing fancy, but I like it. Feels quiet, you know?

Leslie- You always loved books. I can see that. Denver, though? That’s far.

Todd- Yeah. After everything, I needed a fresh start. But sometimes I wonder if I ran too far. Away from too much.

Leslie- Maybe. Or maybe you just needed space. We all do sometimes.

Todd- Do you ever think about the old days? The late-night drives? Listening to awful mixtapes?

Leslie- laughs softly Yeah, sometimes. I even found one of your old tapes a few weeks ago. “Todd's Ultimate Road Trip Mix, Volume 2.” It’s terrible, by the way.

Todd- Hey! That was a masterpiece in its time.

Leslie- Sure, if you’re into off-key singing and poorly chosen ska tracks.

Todd- Ska was having a moment, okay?

Leslie- Whatever you say. pauses You know, I thought about calling you so many times after you left. I wanted to scream at you, to ask why you didn’t think I was worth staying for. But I was scared too. Scared of what you might say.

Todd- I would’ve said I was sorry. That I was a coward. That I missed you every day.

Leslie- And then what? Would it have changed anything?

Todd- I don’t know. Probably not. But maybe it would’ve helped you hate me a little less.

Leslie- I never hated you, Todd. I was just… hurt.

Todd- I hurt you, and I’m sorry. I don’t expect forgiveness. I don’t even deserve this conversation. But I’m grateful you’re giving it to me.

Leslie- Don’t get too mushy on me. I’m still deciding if I want to hang up.

Todd- chuckles Fair enough.

Leslie- So why now? After all this time?

Todd- Honestly? I’m tired of running. I’ve been carrying this guilt for years, and I’m sick of it. I wanted to tell you the truth. To see if there’s even the smallest chance we could… I don’t know… be friends again?

Leslie- Friends, huh? That’s a big ask.

Todd- I know. But I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give. Even if it’s just this one phone call.

Leslie- long pause I don’t know if I can forgive you completely. Not yet. But… I think we can start with this. One call at a time.

Todd- I’ll take it. Thank you, Leslie.

Leslie- Don’t thank me yet. I’ll probably regret this in the morning.

Todd- I hope you don’t. And if you ever want to scream at me or listen to a truly terrible mixtape, you know where to find me.

Leslie- laughs softly I’ll think about it.

Todd- That’s all I can ask.

Silence stretches for a moment, comfortable and full of unspoken words.

Leslie- Take care of yourself, Todd.

Todd- You too, Leslie. And… thanks for picking up.

Click

The line is silent for a few seconds after the click, but then the phone rings again.

Phone ringing.

Click.

Leslie- Hello?

Todd- It’s me. Sorry, I — I wasn’t done.

Leslie- Todd, I was just about to — Wait, are you crying?

Todd- sniffles I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to call back, but I… I realized something when I hung up.

Leslie- What? What is it?

Todd- I spent so many years avoiding everything — pain, guilt, even you. But tonight, for the first time in years, I don’t feel like I’m running anymore. Talking to you made me realize that.

Leslie- softly That’s a lot for one call, Todd.

Todd- I know. But you always had a way of making me see things I didn’t want to. You still do.

Leslie- hesitates Todd, this is overwhelming. You can’t just show up out of the blue, lay all this on me, and expect me to know what to do with it.

Todd- I don’t. I just needed you to know that, for the first time in my life, I’m ready to stop running. I’m here. If you ever need me.

Leslie- long pause Okay. That’s good to hear. But I need time to figure out what I need — what I even want from this. Can you give me that?

Todd- Of course. Take all the time you need. I’ll be here.

Leslie- softly Promises, Todd. Those are big words.

Todd- I know. And this time, I mean them.

Leslie- after a beat Goodnight, Todd.

Todd- Goodnight, Leslie. And… thank you.

This time, the line goes dead, and neither of them calls back. But in the quiet stillness of their separate rooms, they each hold the phone a little longer, imagining the other still on the line.