Heartless

Not a soul came to visit her. Not even Jason. 

Flashback to ten days earlier, Jess was out to breakfast with her best friend Carrie. Out of nowhere, Jess had the start of a massive migraine and began to slur her words. Carrie became petrified that Jess was having a stroke right in front of her. They alerted the server, dropped a ten-dollar bill to cover the two coffees that had been served so far and for the inconvenience and Carrie speeded Jess over to the ER.   

Ninety minutes into a stroke assessment, an IV line placement, and an EKG were taken, Jason finally shows up somewhat concerned and walks over to Jess. His first words though take her by surprise. “I need to get back home soon, I left the kids and have a conference call at 4 pm”. Carrie stepped over and spoke for Jess in anger over how selfish he was being and said “Why don’t you go back now Jason? We don’t want you to leave your 16-year-old daughter too long watching her brother and you to be late for your meeting in five hours.”   

Jess lay there on the uncomfortable gurney. They didn’t even give her a pillow. Her migraine was piercing every part of her head. She had an aura as well. Now she had a husband there keeping up an appearance. He didn’t want to be there. It was an inconvenience. She was a burden. She felt it. She was angry. Five years of taking care of him and his two children as a full-time stepmom...for what?   

Jason just stood there. He didn’t even try to comfort Jess. He asked the doctor when he had come in if Jess was going to be admitted. When the doctor said yes. Jason thought it was best to head home to make sure the kids were ok. 

Jess was furious. When Jason left, she felt her migraine worsen due to tears and inner rage. For five years, she had been taking care of a 2800 sq ft house, doing laundry, cooking, giving baths, and dealing with various illnesses like stomach flu and regular flu. Carrie reminded Jess to calm down, but Jess was too exhausted and defeated to care. She felt like Jason saw her as a housekeeper, nanny, and someone who came last, not as his wife. She felt that her illness had become an inconvenience to him. Jess was worried about how everything would get done at home and feared that things would only get worse from here. 

The doctors luckily ruled out a stroke. But Jess was suffering from a very serious case of status migrainous along with vertigo. She was a fall risk. As soon as she was admitted, Carrie left and that was the last she saw of any visitor her entire 10-day stay. Luckily, she bonded with Lee, her much older, demented roommate. They had a routine every day. They would order the same meals. Lee would give Jess her coffee and Jess would give Lee her ginger ale. They faithfully watched Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune every night. When the patient on morphine down the hall started screaming at night she needed to “go to the potty”, they would try to overpower her cries by singing Elvis Presley songs. After evening medications, they would speak about their pasts and bond over the sadness they felt in their present. Both agreed that they didn’t need visitors, they had each other. Lee had been the mother figure Jess longed for.

On Day 8, Jess suffered a fall in the bathroom due to vertigo even being a fall risk. It just couldn’t be avoided. As she stood up from the toilet to pull up her underwear, vertigo took over and Jess fell onto her right shoulder and hit her head on the bathroom door. This caused a concussion, whiplash, and a tear in her rotator cuff. Jason was notified but was more upset because how was she going to be able to watch the kids and help them with homework when she got home?   

Jess cried so hard and had Lee to comfort her. She was like a mother figure. Jess wanted her Mom right now. She lost her to cancer when she was only 18 years old. Still, every girl wants their Mom in a crisis.  

Day 10 is discharge day. Jason showed to pick Jess up. She was so excited to get back home and see her stepchildren. Only her stepson Andrew had called her while she was in the hospital. He is a sweet 9-year-old boy. His sister on the other hand, only worries about herself. Jess doesn’t let it phase her. She loves them like they were her own. She has helped raise them both for the last five years. 

The half-hour drive back home was a silent one. Upon entering the home, Jess calls out to the kids. At that point, Jason informs her that he has brought them both to his parents out in Brooklyn so she would be able to have quiet time to recuperate.  

“Why wouldn’t you have told me that at the hospital Jason?” Jess said angrily.  

“Because I knew it would upset you, and I know you need the rest”.  

“When are they coming home, I miss them both terribly?” she asked. 

“In a few days”. He said as he left the room.  

Jess settled in the queen size bed. It was good to be back in her familiar bed, but she was so uncomfortable due to both the neck brace and the shoulder brace. Her head still was hurting. Her heart was what hurt most of all. 

About a half hour later, Jason comes into the room and brings Jess a cheese sandwich and a glass of iced tea. He informs her he is going to go to check on the kids at his parent's house. They are two hours away!  

“Babe, I just got home from the hospital. Can’t you go tomorrow or the next day? I am still wobbly from all the medications.” Jess pleaded to him.  

“You will be fine!” Jason assured her.  

He left twenty minutes later. About an hour later Jess looked at her phone and in the text message thread with Jason read:  

Jason stopped sharing his location  

When she saw that, Jess got of bed and went to the walk-in closet. The door had been shut. When she opened it, she saw all of Jason’s clothes were gone. She then limped into each of the kids rooms. Their closets were empty.  This was pre-meditated.

That was the last time she ever saw her husband. She never got to say goodbye to her kids. Narcissism won. Anger and inner rage set in. Anger at herself for not seeing the red flags sooner. Anger at him for how heartless of a human he could be. The vows of "in sickness and in health" meant nothing.

Heartless.