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Sad Suspense

Birds tweeting in the forest, the sounds of the angry waters falling hard are heard from were Johnnie is seated weeping, dressed only in a cloth big enough to cover his silent flute.

Why!!!!” He exclaimed as he cried while screaming looking to the skies. “It’s not fair, she was only a little girl.” He screamed as his veins from his neck almost bust, causing the veins on his barrel-chested, beefy, thick flaccid, improbable massive, hairy golden fit body to made more visible as he yells to the sky. Then powerlessly he falls on his kneels holding his face as he silently sheds tears for the little girl who is laying on the ground lifelessly. He then crawls to her and begins to pluck leaves from the trees and small branches as he cover’s her.

Then suddenly a voice behind him, “You have got to get used to it.” Johnnie with shock as to where the voice is coming from turns, only to find an old man in rugged clothing’s, standing with two sticks, one supporting his bend stance and the other on his shoulder carrying plastics filled with stuffed up things, his face oily and greased up.

Sorry I thought I heard you say something.” Johnnie replies. “As a matter of fact I did” replies the old man. “What did you mean I need to get used to it” Johnnie says it while looking directly at the old man “So you did not ‘thought’ you actually heard me.” Replies the old man. “Come help me fill in these bags with these stones if you will be kind enough, at least you are more youthful and stronger.”

What are the stones for?” Johnnie asks “personal use” the old man responds. Johnnies starring at the old man wipes the tears off his face and sighs “I will need one bag from you or maybe two so I can wrap my child and bury her then I can be of use to you.” “Forget about burying your child” the old man responds “excuse me, that’s the last of my seed I have, I just buried the mother a year ago and here you are telling me to forget to pay my respect to my child” with fierceness and rage on Johnnies face. “Condolences over your wife but please don’t get me wrong sir.” The old man replied “is this what you meant, me getting used to this so I can get lonely and old like you” Johnnie responds. The old man quietly looks at Johnnie as Johnnie pants looking offended as though he is getting ready and inspired to pounce on the old man. “Listen young man, all I am telling you is, if you want the two bags you better work for them, fill these bags for me.” The old man responds to Johnnie. Johnnies looks at the man, “how many bags are they?” “10” responds the old man.

The old man removes the bag and gives it to Johnnie. Johnnies gets the bag and immediately begins to load the stones in the bag. With the stature of his body he seemed to be doing it with ease and in no time he was done with the first bag. On to the second one with ease and unending strength and just when he reached half way of the second bag he begins to get tired and loses strength in a split of a second. With a sweaty face Johnnie begins to tire as he picks the stones loading them in the bag. He falls to the ground as the old man looks at him, “Think about exactly what you want, and it will give you the strength to push on” the old man tells Johnnie while facing the opposite direction as he is. “What is this an initiation into a cult or something, I thought I was helping you” Johnnie replies. With frustration Johnnie gets up and grabs two bags from the old man, “I have had enough, those bags suffice for what I needed.” Johnnies replies as he walks to the little girl’s corpse laying covered with leaves.

Old man turns looks at Johnnie, “Are you sure this is enough for what you need?”  Johnnie turns facing the old man as he responds “You needed the help, I have managed to do what I can, so find others to help you out with the remaining bags, I am sure you will find someone in this forest.” Johnnie replies.

It’s just 8 more bags and your wish will be granted, just 8 more.” The old man responds. “I have nothing more left to give.” Johnnie replies. “You still didn’t answer my question.” The old man responds. “What question?” Johnnie replies.

Are you sure this is enough for what you need?” Johnnie with a straight face looks at the old man, “Its more than enough”, the old man smiles unhappy “Let it be as you wish.” “Thank you” Johnnie replies back and turns heading to the body. Just as he kneels down the little girl takes a deep breath inhaling as though someone was withholding her from breathing. Johnnie with shock on his face falls back a meter away looking scared. “Nyala” calls softly as the little girl gets up holding her head trying to figure out what is happening, “Dad” Johnnie looks at her shocked while drawing close to her. “Nyala” holding her body. “Nyala, it’s you my child” hugs her tightly. “I thought I lost you for good.” Johnnies says while holding Nyala shocking who seems to be surprised and puzzled by what the father is saying. “What do you mean father?” Just as he is about to explain to her she gives up the ghost breathing her last and falls lifeless to the ground. “Nyala!!!!” Johnnie shouts holding her trying to wake her up as she lays lifeless in his hands. “Nyala my baby” he taps her cheeks to wake her up. “Nyala!!!”

He drops and leaves her their laying on the ground as he walks to the old man. “You did it right, you brought my girl back to life.” Old man looks at him without saying a word.

Bring her back please, at least let me say good bye to her.” The old silently stares at Johnnie. “Please I beg” as he begins to weep “please bring my girl back.”

I can’t” the old man softly responds. “But you just did you brought my girl back to life.” Johnnie replies, “No Johnnie, you brought her back, the decision of her living was entirely in your hands, I just granted your wish.” Responds the old man. Johnnie looking puzzled “What do you mean? Is it the bags?”Exactly, you could have bought more life for your girl depending on the number of bags you were willing to fill up. I asked you if that was enough for what you needed you said yes, I granted your wish” the old man responds, “I thought you meant the bags” Johnnie replies. “That’s where you got it all wrong Johnnie, you wanted the bags but needed your girl. And my question was nowhere close to what you wanted but what you needed. My job was simply to grant you your desire, and I did.”

Johnnie wipes his tears gets up and grabs a bag, “Okay fine, I am ready for it. Begins to pack the stones in the bag. “It’s too late my boy.” The old man responds, “No you can’t tell me it’s too late, if the bags brought her back the first time, they still can.” Johnnie replies back. “No they can’t” the old man responds. “You can’t.”I didn’t understand but now I get the full context and I am willing to work it” Johnnie responds as he is packing the stones with tears dropping from his eyes. “You understand the context from a selfish point of view. The act was to be done from a selfless point, because selflessness is the only thing in this life that can bring back anything that is lost, from relations to morals to life, selflessness was the key context” the old man responds. “I will do it Just wait and see,” Johnnie very busy packing the stones trying to convince himself “I will do it, I will” speaking to himself he continues packing but then notices the awkward silence. He lifts his heard and finds the old man is not there, looks around notices there is no one around. “Hello” he shouts looking freaked out, “Hello!!!!!!!!” He falls to the ground crying realizing he missed his opportunity and there is no way he is getting it back.

                                               THE END.

July 05, 2021 22:02

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2 comments

Rachel <3
17:40 Jul 17, 2021

This is a striking story. I liked the take on the prompt that you went with, and it really reminds us how selfish people can be, refusing to help someone unless there's something in it for them. There were a few cosmetic errors in the story, for example 'were' instead of 'where', and a lot of the sentences are rambling. I would break it up with commas, and maybe use less adjectives and adverbs. The paragraphs are also really long, so try starting a new paragraph every time the speaker changes (something like this: "It's too late, my boy," t...

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Philip Phiri
17:07 Jul 18, 2021

Thank you so much this is very helpful and I will certainly take note as advised be blessed.

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