Shades of grey

Sensitive themes: drugs, death, explicit language. 

Ren

There’s a new drug that has hit the streets of Jonesville. We’ve dealt with similar narcotics before, but this one has been cut with something that skyrockets your serotonin to the nth degree. Coming down is nearly impossible - without dying that is.

I can't get the last crime scene out of my head. I guess you can call it a hazard of the job. Sometimes the horrors just stay with you, splattered on the inside of your mind like the walls and floor of the deceased-like shit on a shoe. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is their body. Twenty-three years old, two holes where his eyes should have been. He had literally ripped them out of his own skull. It was a fucking mess. 

“Everything else is on hold as of right now.” Sergeant Delaney pointed towards the case board. “This is all we’re focused on. Ten suicides in less than a week, and the only commonality is the new street drug found in their system. They call it, ‘Rainbow Chaser.’ We have Dr. Andrews here to give us more details.” 

Dr. Andrews stepped forward. “As far as we can tell, the drug starts to take effect thirty minutes after ingested. It peeks around sixty minutes and can last up to six hours. There is no evidence or trends to when the psychosis begins, nor what might trigger it. So far, we have no survivors.”

Sergeant Delaney continued, “I want everyone out on the streets speaking to your CI’s and hitting every corner. Someone get me something because right now, we have shit all.”

Five of us made up this specialized intelligence team. We were a task force focused on anything related to colour drugs. This is the worst one we’ve ever encountered.

As children, we begin our lives seeing everything in grayscale. The trees are grey. The sky is grey. Everything is a different shade of monotonous grey. Up until we hit puberty, that’s all we really know. Once we hit puberty though, something extraordinary happens; love, anger, sadness, any deeply felt emotion triggers colours. Like a gust of wind by the ocean, colours crash through your retinas, creating synaptic fireworks in your brain. 

The experience only lasts approximately an hour. Then everything goes back to grey. All the colours gone like dust in the wind. There’s absolutely nothing like seeing the world in colour, which is probably why there’s such a high market for drugs that can produce that experience.

I can’t say that I don't understand why people crave it. However, I cannot condone the way people continue to make it or consume it. 

***

Riley

“I got it from my brother.” Sam said, handing me the rainbow-coloured pill- or at least I assume it was rainbow coloured. It just looked like different shades of grey to me but the baggy read, ‘Rainbow Chaser.’

“Are you sure it’s safe?” I asked, turning it over in my hand and inspecting it as if I would be able to ascertain its degree of safety by looking really hard at it.

“I mean, it’s as safe as any other drug. Apparently, you get to see colours for like, almost six hours. My brother says it's new, but it's great. He doesn't know I took it from his personal stash though.” He threw the pill in his mouth and chugged a glass of water. “Too late to turn back now!” He laughed.

I still wasn’t sure. My parents were out of town, and this would be the first time I’ve ever really done any drugs. I mean, I’ve smoked weed before, but this was a real drug. I remember the first time I saw colours like it was yesterday. I was sitting in class and Stephany walked in. Her hair bounced like she was in a shampoo commercial. The way she smiled and laughed, it made my heart race so fast. All of a sudden, I could see. Her dark brown hair, her grass green eyes and her bubblegum pink nail polish. She was a literal work of art. All class, it took everything out of me not to stare. Then, just as soon as it came, it was gone with the sound of the next period bell. Everything was mundane again, grey and colourless.

Since then, I’ve made sure to relish every moment of colour that I got to experience. The idea of being able to see the full spectrum of colours for six hours straight…well it was honestly almost impossible to believe. How bad could the side effects be? The pills shades were starting to melt in my hand. It’s now or never. 

I popped the pill into the back of my throat and gulped it down. I looked at my watch: 12:30pm.

***

“We just got a call, Ren. Overdose victims on 32nd street.” Liam picked up the keys to the car, “let’s go.”

I grabbed my coat and took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for whatever fucked up scene I was about to walk into.

“How bad?” I ask.

He just looked at me with an ‘it’s bad’ stare and started down the stairs. I followed, hoping this would at least get us closer to finding a dealer or supplier.

On the drive there, I stare out the window, my mind fortifying itself for the inevitable onslaught of violence. Old jazz was playing on the radio, melancholic, tin-ny. It wasn't quite snowing or raining out, more like strips and pieces of wet paper were tumbling out of the sky in no specific direction, melting as it hit my window. It was cold-the kind that you felt in your bones. The whole thing felt so cliché. 

The interesting thing about seeing everything in grayscale everyday is the depth of nuance between the different shades. Although you didn’t see colour all the time, it was as if our brains were wired to take mental photographs of everything when we could see colours. It would use those images to create sorts of watercolour ‘paint by numbers’ renditions of the world in between moments of deep feeling - we called them phantom colours.

“We’re here.” Liam said, stepping out of the car into the storm.

***

I didn’t have to check the clock. Whether it was 1:00pm or not, it didn't change the fact that I was definitely feeling it. It was as if someone had shown a flashlight right in my eyes, barrage of colours literally blinding me for a few seconds. It wasn’t a progressive, slow high that built up over time; it was a slap in the face, cold water being dumped on my head.

“Sam, how you doing?” I asked, not looking in his direction. 

He didn’t answer.

I looked over to him and the cyclone colours caused a dizzy spell so strong I fell over. I burst out laughing, barely able to open my eyes. “Sam, you good?” 

“It’s…so beautiful. Riley, can you see it?” Sam was standing by the window, staring out at the sky. He was smiling and crying. It was honestly discomforting, verging on troubling. 

“Are you okay?” The colours I was seeing went from bright and cheery to dark and grim. I wasn't laughing anymore.

“I…I have to get a higher.” He turned to me, a crazed look on his face. His pupils were huge and I could swear one was bigger than the other. 

“I think you’re stoned enough” I said worriedly.

He laughed a manic chuckle. “No! Higher up. I want to be closer to the sky”. He started towards the back door. 

It took me almost a minute to process what was happening. This drug was not just showing me colours, it was affecting my awareness and concentration. I was forgetting my thoughts as soon as I had them. When I would look around, the colours of the world around me bled into each other, like an unwieldy lava lamp. 

I heard the ladder outside screech against the backyard patio. Sam is going to the roof. Sam is going to the roof. Sam is going to the roof! Do something! I got up, tumbling toward the back door. “Sam, don’t! It’s too dangerous!” 

I was too late. 

I looked up and there was Sam standing on my gable style roof, right in the middle, his feet seesawing back and forth. “The snow…it’s like we’re in a snow globe. The sky, it’s so purple. The snow is like -” 

He slipped. I heard him tumble down the side of the roof, but not fall. 

“RILEY” he screamed. 

I climbed the ladder as fast as I possibly could. Slipping every few steps, my heart beating so fast it felt like it was going to explode. I got to the top and saw him hanging off the gutters. “I’m coming Sam!”

I slid down the roof on my butt, sticking my heels into the gutters to try and get some leverage to help pull him back up. “Hang on, hang on, I got you!” I screamed.

“I don’t want to die.” Sam said, his voice slurring. 

“You’re not going to die, Sam, just don’t let go.” I was tugging him but I could feel his grip going limp.

“I..I don’t feel so good.” He looked up at me. One of his pupils was definitely bigger than the other. One side of his face was starting to droop. He began to shake.

“Stop shaking Sam!” I yelled.

It was too late, again. He had begun seizing. His hand grabbed mine hard, and we fell from the roof.

***

There was already police tape up when we arrived and a crowd had begun to gather. I hated the gawkers. We walked up to the tape and flashed our badges and the officer waved us in. 

“Rainbow Chasers strikes again.” He said, leading us to the victim. 

“Any idea on what happened?” 

“Seems to be just another case of dumb fucking teenagers.” He said this not as an insult to the kids, but rather spite towards what had taken their life.  

I patted him on the back, signalling that it was okay and that he could leave us to it. Liam stood over the body, pulling the sheet to reveal the face of a sixteen year old boy.

“He definitely died on impact.” Liam said, turning the victim's head. Dark shades of grey stained the snowy grass below his now broken skull. “Where’s the second body?”

I turned to the police officer who had led us in. “We heard there were two dead on scene. Where’s the second victim?” 

“Oh, you didn’t hear? He survived. It was crazy- he had no pulse. We gave him a few doses of naloxone and nothing. All of a sudden, he jolts up, screaming some name.” The officer was shacking his head in disbelief.

“Where is he now?” I asked.

He pointed in the direction of the ambulance, “Ambo 61.”

I sighed, thanked him and turned back towards Liam, “I’m going to talk to the survivor and see if we can get anything out of him before they take him off.” He nodded and waved me to it.

I stepped into the ambulance and saw the second kid laying on the gurney, bleeding from the back of his head. He had clearly broken some ribs because his breathing was extremely laboured. 

“We just got him stable enough to move, can this wait?” The EMT asked hurriedly. 

“I just need a minute.” I asked, “Please”. 

She nodded reluctantly. 

“I’m very sorry for your loss.” The victim looked in my direction with a dead stare. “Where did you get the drugs?” 

Wheezing, he breathed, “his-brother-” and passed out. The EMT forced me out from the box and I made my way back to the squad car.

Knocking the snow off from my boots as I got in, “They got the drugs from the dead victims' brother.” I told Liam. 

His eyebrow raised. “I looked up the deceased. His brother's been convicted of producing and selling narcotics. Did five years and got out on good behaviour and giving up a bunch of names.” Liam said, “he was last seen downtown at Crows Bar”. 

“Let's go.” I said turning on the lights. 

It was going to be a long night, but at least we finally had a lead.