What God Did For Me

“Are you there, God? It’s me. Rain.” I pushed the door open wider than the 30-degree angle it was set at. The light from the room shone into the dark hallway where I stood.

“Yeah, what up? What ya got fo’ me?” God looked up from the stacks of cash that he and Lincoln were counting.

God ran our entire operation, and nothing could get past him without him finding out and delivering a consequence. No one on the team dared play him, which is why I needed my little scheme to work. So help my soul. Despite his street reputation, God was a fair and straight-up type of guy who kept his head on tight when it came to the business, yet still had a soul enough to give the shirt off his back to anyone in need. At that moment, I wondered how he would react to the situation I was about to present to him.

I walked into the room. Lincoln had his back toward me and did not bother to acknowledge me. He was God’s right-hand man, and because of his position, he thought he was better than the rest of us. Unless it were something involving the business, he really could not give a fuck about us.

“I’m short twenty stacks. But I can explain–”

“What the fuck?!” Lincoln cut me off before God could respond. He raised his head, turned around, and scrunched his face at me. His face immediately relaxed into a devilish grin. “Well, that’s your ass.” He turned back to the money and continued counting.

“Whatcha mean you short twenty stacks?” God asked in his low-pitch bass. He stared into my eyes while still holding the stack he was counting.

“Just as I was leaving the last pick up, I got jacked. Somebody had to be watchin’ and waitin’.” I gave my best performance with a rapid heartbeat as I explained myself.

Without taking his eyes off me, God lifted one side of his mouth and made a noise as his tongue removed a bit of food from his gold tooth. I put my head down and focused on my perfectly pink pedicure. The life allowed me not to have to work a 9 to 5 again, but what I got each week from God was just enough to pay the bills, eat, and have a little left over to get my hair or my nails done. I was grateful for being down with God and not having to put up with the bullshit I was experiencing in corporate America. However, I did not have the extra money needed to help my grandma with her operation. She raised me, and she was all I had in this world. Disappointing God was the last thing I ever wanted to do because I knew it would land me back in the rat race or dead. But I still had to do what I had to do for mine.

God put the stack he was holding down on the table in front of him. “How did they look?”

I looked confused. “Who?”

“The motherfucker who jacked you.”

I had my story ready. “He was wearing a ski mask, so I don’t know. He was tall and strong. He wrestled me down, took my gun and my purse with the wooden handles, and then pointed a sawed-off rifle at me. There was no way I could—”

God cut me off. “Boone’s crew.”

I felt a little relieved because it seemed God was buying my story.

“That bastard’s been after my shit for the longest. He got his soldiers runnin’ around with them sawed off shits.” God closed his eyes and shook his head.

Boone was God’s rival on a mission to take down his enemy so that he could rise to the top as the biggest drug dealer in New Orleans. So far, framing Boone to take the fall for my plan was proving to be genius.

God’s eyes found mine again. “How come he didn’t take all of it?”

Shit. I did not think he would ask that question. I did not need all of the money, and I thought selling this story and presenting a portion of the money would be enough. Think, Rain. Think.

“I have a method,” I said.

Lincoln paused his counting. “Method?! Fuck you talkin’ bout?”

I rolled my eyes.

“What’s this method of yours?” asked God. He interlocked the fingers of each of his hands and rested his chin on them. His eyes bore into my soul.

“I know that my being a woman kind of throws off the cops, but it doesn’t keep me from being targeted by others.” Just make it good, give him the rest of the money, and I should be able to put it behind me. Hopefully.

“But you wanted in on this game and you knew what would come with it,” said God.

Lincoln served me a stink face.

“True dat. But I still have to do what I gotta do to protect myself,” I responded as a ball of sweat rolled down the side of my face.

“So what’s ya method?” God asked.

“When I collect, I spread the money between my purse and different areas on my body. That way, if I do get jacked, they might only take the portion that’s in my purse while I can still get away with the rest to bring back to you.”

“The fuck?!” Lincoln threw the stack of hundreds in his hands on the table.

My eyes darted in Lincoln’s direction. He still held a stink face.

God put his hands on his knees. “You tellin’ me you doin’ this silly shit with my money like ya ready to get jacked for someone to take my money?”

“No, God. That’s not what I mean.” I raised my hands in front of me.

“Then what do you mean?”

“Most times, if someone wants to jack a woman, they go for the purse. So I put the least amount in there. And he took my purse with the $20,000 in it.”

God squinted his eyes at me. “Give me the rest of my goddamn money.”

Lincoln held out his hand to collect the money from me.

I began pulling out the money that was rolled up in thick wads of hundred-dollar bills from random places on my body. I pulled a wad each from under each side of my bra straps. Under my top, they looked like shoulder padding. I lifted my skirt, revealing my panties. I had two wads nestled on each hip, which made me look wider than I was. I pulled each set of wads from my underwear. I gave all of the money to Lincoln.

God stood up and pointed at me. “From here on out, you put all the money on you and not a damn thing in your purse. You understand me, Rain?”

I nodded my head with a sudden feeling of relief. “Okay.”

“We need to roll up on Boone, so I can take back what’s mine.”

Lincoln was unrolling the wads of cash. “I think I might know where his stash house is.”

“Rain, you goin’ with Lincoln and the boys to get my money back. And if he has any bricks, take those too.”

I nodded.

“You can leave. I’ll hit you up when we ready.” God sat back down.

“Aight.” I responded. My nerves were finally relaxed. God did not suspect a thing.

A couple of nights later, Lincoln, the boys, and I broke into Boone’s stash house. We were surprised no one was there standing watch. Boone was not exactly the smartest street thug. Luckily, we managed to steal half a million dollars and several kilos of cocaine, which we called bricks. We made it back to our headquarters unscathed.

As we were all going our separate ways for the rest of the night or wee hours of the morning, I opened my car door and reached for my purse with the wooden handles that I kept on the floor near the gas and brake pedals. I put it on the passenger seat, I got in and pulled at the door, but it did not budge. I looked up and saw Lincoln holding the door. If looks could kill, he would have murdered me on the spot.

“What the fuck is that?” His nostrils flared as he breathed hard.

I was not in the mood for his bullshit. “What?”

Lincoln pointed at my purse. I looked at it. My eyes went wide, and my mouth dropped. How could you be so stupid, Rain?

“I thought you said the dude who jacked you stole your purse with the wooden handles?”

My mind drew a blank as I sat there like a deer caught in headlights with my heart pumping at a rate of a million and ten.

Lincoln leaned in the car, reached over me, and snatched my purse.

“Get ya ass back inside,” he told me.

I finally closed my mouth, exited my car, and made my way back inside to face God with Lincoln following close behind me like my shadow.

After explaining the truth to God, I was so shaken at the thought of what lay ahead for me. Tears ran from my eyes, and my legs just would not stop shaking.

“I’m so sorry, God. But you gotta understa—.”

“Shut ya ass up, bitch!” yelled Lincoln. He rushed across the room to where I was sitting and hit me in the face with his gun.

“Ahhhhh!” I screamed.

He pointed his gun at me. “Just let me kill her right now. I’m tired of hearin’ her cryin’.”

God held up his hand, signaling to Lincoln to calm down. Lincoln put his gun back in his waist and sat down with his eyes glued on me.

Lincoln hit me hard, and the pain was excruciating. I felt blood drip from both my nose and my mouth. I hoped he did not break my nose.

Before he spoke, God did that thing with his tongue to remove food from his gold tooth. “I trusted you, Rain. If you had come to me and asked me for the money, then I might have helped you, but you took it upon yourself to take my money and lie about it.”

I held my head down, letting my tears mix with my blood. I could not look God in the face. I heard him rise from his chair and walk over to me. When I raised my head, his face was inches from mine. His eyes were serious.

“You woulda been dead by now. But there’s somethin’ about you, Rain.”

I remained silent and in pain.

“I’m gonna give ya another chance.”

I was stunned. Did he just say what I thought he said?

Lincoln looked confused.

“Oh, thank you, God. Thank you. Thank you.” I tried to smile, but my mouth hurt too much.

“Hold up! Don’t get too excited because if you mess up again, I’ll have ya ass in a body bag. You understand me?”

“Yes, God.” I nodded.

God sat back down. He folded his hands and rested his chin on top. I got up and started to leave.

“I’m not done with you, Rain. Sit back down.”

I obeyed God’s command.

“I don’t want ya handlin’ my money anymore. Instead, you’ll be my driver, so that way I can have eyes on ya.”

Lincoln rolled his eyes and shook his head. “You sure about that?”

God’s eyes darted toward Lincoln. “Don’t question me, Lincoln.”

Lincoln turned away and put his head down.

“Okay, God. Whatever you want. I got you. I promise—”

God cut me off. “Don’t make no promises. Just prove to me that I made the right decision in sparin’ ya ass.”

I nodded. Though my face hurt like hell, I was happy and relieved because, despite my actions, God still gave me another chance.

END