Cookies for my Planet!

Twenty thousand years in the future, at the core of the Milky Way, the Galactic Assembly would play host to the most epic event in the universe. The Infinity Auction - a colossal convention where aliens gathered to buy ancient artefacts, magnificent masterpieces, and plenty of planetoids.

There were Umphits and Trullets, Flibbertibs and Quadzets. They arrived in their starships, their spacecrafts and saucers. They mingled in the meeting room, gossiped in the gallery, and reclined in the refectory.

And then came the hour when the auction began. The unusual Umphits bartered in upgrades for alien automatons. The tiny Trullets traded treasures and trinkets. The fabulous Flibbertibs offered fuels, and the quiet Quadzets, quicksilver.

The auctioneer was a rambunctious, reptilian Rungen. He called out many lots, but the last of the lot was the largest.

"And finally, lot number 32784, a level five terran planetoid locally known as 'Earth.' This planet features spacious skies and seas, mineral-rich mountains, and reams of resources. Situated three spots from its sun, this great green globe experiences typically temperate temperatures, has generous gravity, and an awesome atmosphere. Who would like to start our bids?"

Among the assembly, one paddle was waved. The gathering turned to stare at the most peculiar person among them.

The boy began, with a gleaming, glittering gaze, "I offer... This jar of cookies!"

The crowd chuckled.

The auctioneer asked, "And who might you be?"

"Jack Jamison Jones." He declared, crawling up onto his chair. "I'm a human, I was born on Earth."

The masses muttered among themselves. The Umphets uttered about how they assumed Earth was uninhabited. The Trullets trilled about his pitiful payment. The Flibbertibs figured humans had gone extinct, and the Quadzets were quick to question how a human had arrived at the auction.

The Rungen roared to hush the huddle. "An Earthling? What is so special about this 'jar of cookies?'"

"These are no common cookies!" Jack jeered. "These cookies were baked on Earth. They are made to my family's recipe. I used only the finest flour, the sweetest sugar, the best butter. All the ingredients included were made or grown on Earth."

"But humans have not lived on Earth for ages." The auctioneer announced. Everyone knew the story - the humans had sailed to the stars after poisoning their planet. "After most of the humans evacuated, the Earth was abandoned."

"Some stayed!" The boy bellowed. "Most humans went to space, but others stayed behind to save it!"

The aliens sneered sceptically at the child. A hush hung in the air.

"For a while, the Earth wasn't great or green. Its atmosphere wasn't awesome, it was awful. The seas were stinking, the sky was shocking, the mountains were miserable. The humans who'd harmed Earth left, leaving only a few behind. They healed the world's wounds. They saved the planet."

The auctioneer arched his brow. "So you have come here to buy your planet, and you plan to pay... With cookies?"

Jack jabbered. "Not just any cookies. These are the tastes of the Earth, the hallmark of humanity. They are the epitome of Earth's greatest gifts. The best cookies in the universe!" Raising the jar over his head, he thought himself a hero of humanity among apathetic aliens.

They laughed at him. The boy blushed, sitting in his seat, and wrapping his arms around his offering.

"Alright, well... Been as our first bid is... Subjective... Shall we continue with the other offers?"

One by one, the aliens announced their bids. The Umphits' upgrades included musical modules, charging chips, unbreakable units, and elemental embellishments. The Trullets offered giant glass gauntlets, nebula necklaces, radiant rings, and ornate ornaments. The Flibbertibs' fuel contribution could power whole planets in perpetuity, and the quicksilver mines operated by the Quadzets would supply an enterprise for all eternity.

The human child cried softly. How could his cookies compete with such valuable bids? The Earth would be sold for sure - the home his ancestors spent so long restoring repurposed for resources. The remaining humans would be evicted, the mountains mined, and the sand, stone, and soil sold across the galaxy. It would erase their efforts, his home hollowed to a husk.

The Rungen read his expression, realising how the human deeply doted on his planet. He held his gavel gently, not ready to announce the winning bid. With a gulp, he gathered himself, and called out into the crowd. "Human... Jack Jamison Jones. Bring your jar of cookies!"

The human hopped onto his feet, tentatively tiptoeing through the throng and ambling up the aisle. He presented his cookies to the auctioneer.

The Rungen lifted the lid - immediately met by an appealing aroma. He collected a cookie, and took a bite. Time ticked on, the seconds melting into minutes. Jack studied his stare, shaking from the many sets of eyes focused upon him. The auctioneer appeared to shed a tear, his gaze glossing over.

"These are..." He hummed, sniffling softly. "Truly, these are the best cookies in the universe."

The gathering gasped.

"Such familiar flavours, such satisfying sweetness. This is not just the flavour of Earth, it is the craft of a civilization. A tribute to taste. To think that something so simple yet so sensational could come from the humans of Earth... If Earth were to be taken from humans, these cookies would be lost to the ages." He wiped his eye. "The true value of Earth is not in its soil, sand, or stone. It is not minerals or resources. It is in its quaint quirks, and delights such as these."

The crowd clapped - slowly to start, but soon swelling into an ardent applause. The bidders withdrew their offers, cheerfully celebrating the human's victory.

"The planet Earth is returned to its human inhabitants!" The auctioneer hit his hammer on the podium, declaring his decision.

With a jubilant grin, Jack claimed the earth on behalf of his people.

From that day on, the planet became a beacon of wholesome whimsy. Jack continued to make his family's cookies, sharing the fantastic, flavourful delights of his home planet with the whole universe.