To Hell With Eclipses!

TO HELL WIITH ECLIPSES!

I could almost taste the excitement in the air. But I had no idea why. I looked around the house.

There was no tree in the living room, so it wasn’t Christmas. Nobody had hidden any candy or chocolate around, so it wasn’t Easter. There were nothing scary out on the front lawn, so not Hallowe’en. Nothing was green, there were no fireworks, there were no heart-shaped boxes of chocolate lowering on the table. So what was happening?

I sat back and watched. Everyone was excited. There was no running around, but there was a lot getting ready — moving chairs into the backyard, working in the kitchen, setting up for ... for what? There was a lot of talk about the weather. I don’t remember an occasion where there was this much talk about the weather, in particular, cloud cover and visibility.  So ... what?

And then there were the sunglasses. I know that people wear sunglasses because of the sun, and to maybe look cool, but these were, well, not very fancy. And everyone had the same ones. Weird because Josie, the teenager, would never be caught dead with anything the same as anyone in her family had. That was in-con-ceivable. Old folks or little kid stuff was not Josie’s jam. But, here, now, Josie had the same sunglasses as Ellie, her younger sister, who had the same glasses as Lena her mom, who had the same glasses as Rod, her dad. What? Was there some sort of sale? I had no idea.

And, unless I was mistaken, it was Monday, but both the kids were home today. Monday is a school day, except in the summer. And because I know that it was not a holiday, and they were not sick, so I was confused.

I considered. Maybe it was one of those PA days that they have at school sometimes. But no, this was different. For one thing Lena and Rod were both home, not at their jobs. Usually if it’s a PA day, Josie has to look after Ellie, begrudgingly. There’s usually a lot of yelling when Josie is in charge. But there was no yelling today, so not a PA day.

I don’t know. I’m out of guesses. So, instead, I listened.

“Totality is supposed to be at 3:18 pm,” said Rod.

What?

“I hope the weather cooperates!” said Lena.

Why?

I sat listening to the conversation, confused.

Ellie came and sat beside me.

“Are you excited about the eclipse, Sammy?” she asked.

I looked at her, saying nothing.

“I know,” she continued, “it’s confusing. But we did learn all about it in school. So, I’ll tell you about it!”

And that’s how I learned about something they call an eclipse.

“So,” Ellie started. “We live on Earth, and everyday the sun shines, and at night it shines on the other side of the earth, so the sun is always shining. We just don’t see it all the time. Same with the moon. It’s always in the sky, it’s just that we can’t see it all the time.” She paused to look at me. “The sun is always shining, except when there’s something in front of it. And today, that something is going to be the moon. That’s what’s happening. The moon, which is in the sky, but we usually can’t see it because it’s daytime, is going to pass right in front of the sun and block out all the light. That’s the eclipse This is a solar eclipse — the moon going in front of the sun, and it will get dark during the day. There’s also a lunar eclipse, but I don’t know too much about that, except that it happens at night.”

She turned to me. “Do you understand?”

I did understand, sorta.

“We have these glasses to wear because looking at the sun can make you go blind. In 2017 a lady didn’t wear her glasses and she went completely blind, forever. I don’t want to go blind, so I’m going to wear my glasses.”

I didn’t have any glasses. Was I going to go blind because I didn't have any? I wasn’t really sure what blind was — something to do with your eyes, and not being able to see, I think — and it didn’t sound like fun.  I needed glasses! I looked at Ellie. She must have been reading my mind.

“You don’t have glasses, so you have to stay inside. I’m sorry that you’re going to miss the eclipse.”

I was torn. There was so much excitement about seeing the eclipse made me sad I was going to miss it. But it sounded dangerous. Going blind? No, thank you. But the rest of the family didn’t seem worried, just excited. What the heck?

“We’re having a Watch Party,” said Ellie. "Lots of people are coming over because our backyard is perfect for watching the eclipse."

Ahhh, I thought, that explains all the chairs on the back lawn. 

But, it was a party I wasn’t invited to.  That made me sad, again.

Elle and I walked into the kitchen. Lena and Rod were making all kinds of snacks, and Josie was filling a cooler with drinks and ice. 

“Okay,” announced Lena to everyone at large, “sun screen on your faces. We’re going to be staring at the sun, so we need protection.”

Well, not all of us need protection, because some of us are banished to the house. I sighed, audibly.

Just then the doorbell rang, and the Watch Party was underway. There were family, and neighbours, and friends, and people I didn't know. Apparently our backyard was ground zero, with an unobstructed view of the sky. It was still an hour away from the start, but people began arriving early. Someone turned on the television.

"Just for you, Sammy,” saiid Ellie.

That was nice, but what I really wanted to do was join the party out in the back yard. I was allowed outside, but only until the eclipse started, then into the house for old Sammy.

I wandered around the backyard, greeting all of our guests. There was lots to eat — I almost forgot my disappointment at not having glasses for the eclipse. But all too quickly, the eclipse started. And into the house I went. There was a discussion about whether or not the blinds should be drawn so that I wouldn’t accidentally look at the sun. 

I wanted to plead my case — I don’t normally look at the sun. It isn’t in my repertoire of things I do outside. I had no idea why Lena and Rod thought that I would, all of a sudden, start staring at the sun. But they did. They were the parents, although sometimes their logic escaped me.

So into the house I went. Because I couldn’t actually see the sun from inside, the blinds were left open, and I got to watch what everyone else was doing. It was almost comical. Everyone had on the exact same glasses, and they were all staring at the sky at the exact same angle. You remember that old photo of people in a movie theatre watching a movie in 3-D? That’s exactly what this looked like, only with better clothes. There was "ohh-ing" and "aww-ing", a bit of pointing, lots of "wows". I glanced at the TV. I guessed what was on screen was what everyone was seeing outside.

Yup, I could see the sun on TV, and it looked like someone had taken a bite out of it. And the bite kept getting bigger and bigger. But it was slow. I guess an eclipse is not for those in a hurry. 

Then, just when all the sun disappeared on TV, everyone outside took off their glasses in the backyard.

Oh no! I thought. They’re all going to go blind!

I tried to warn them, but they weren’t listening to me. They were just laughing and talking about how amazing it was. In fact, Josie told me to shut it. (Rude!) But I couldn’t. If they all went blind, then I would be the only one who could see. That would be horrible. Lena and Rod were the people who ran the house. I couldn’t do that! But I might have to, if they were blind. 

Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod!

I pushed the screen door open and ran out, and stopped dead in my tracks. It was so weird outside. I knew it wasn’t nighttime, but it looked just like that — a night with a moon. And there was a moon, but it was black, in the daytime sky. I was so confused and concerned. There were none of the usual sounds. No birds twittering and tweeting. There were no squirrels or chipmunks running around. The only sounds were from all the people in the backyard, talking about how amazing mother nature was.

Not amazing! Not at all! No sun, night during the daytime, and complete silence in nature, just humans chittering. And it was cold. I’d been out earlier when it had been a lot warmer. Now it was downright chilly. 

This was a complete change in the status quo, and I didn't like it. Not one little bit! And all the people in the backyard could go blind because they were not wearing their special sunglasses. This was not good. Not good at all! I didn’t know what to do.

Then, it got a little brighter out, and everyone put their glasses back on. There was laughter and exclamations of wonder.

Wonder? No thank you. Armageddon was more like it!

That’s when Lena noticed that I was out in the backyard without glasses.

“Back in the house, Sammy.”

In I went, and Lena shut the door behind me.

People kept watching the sky, talking and laughing.

“We’re so lucky that we were in the path of totality.”

“Best locale ever, guys!”

“I’m so glad that the weather cooperated."

"I hear that Niagara Falls was a bust because it was cloudy.”

“This is a once in a lifetime event. The next one is 2144,” someone said.

Rod snorted. “I don’t think I’ll be around for that one!”

And everyone laughed. 

I watched through the back door. Slowly, the backyard got brighter. And the birds started singing, and after a while, people took off their glasses, and started walking around, getting some food, and another drink, discussing what they had just witnessed. 

Josie opened the screen door.

“You can come out now, Sammy. It’s over.”

I joined everyone in the backyard.

Ellie joined me.

“Wasn’t that exciting!” she asked.

I looked at her, saying nothing. She was so excited, and I didn’t want to ruin her spirit ... but, no, it wasn’t exciting. It was the most terrifying thing that I had ever experienced in my life! It was horrible. 

To hell with eclipses! I can live without them! Dogs and eclipses do not mix!