Drama Horror Sad

This story contains themes or mentions of suicide or self harm.

I find myself on a cliff edge, it will only take a little more to push me over.

I push.

The razor is sharp enough to slice with little effort, and the pain reminds me of both what I deserve, and what I am leaving behind. I have enough strength to cut, just. If I still have that power then I’m not over the cliff quite yet.

I need to try again.

. . .

I come round in a sitting position. Muted colours, beige, and greying-yellow swirl around me. Taken aback that there is anything here at all, I put my hands on solid ground to get my bearings. Dusty, dry, barren. I draw my knees up to my chin and push my back against its solid rest. It’s hard, rough, uneven. Shapes are forming in my vision; jagged boulders, earthy mounds, blackened tree trunks bereft of leaves.

My wrists show evidence of my earlier activity, several horizonal scars run across the veins on each side, but the wounds are clean. Everything here is dry. I cannot moisten my tongue. I wonder if I can even bleed.

I look around for my razor. I’m wearing yesterday’s clothes, just like I had been in the bathroom. But they too are faded. My jeans are more white than blue and the rolled up sleeves of my polo neck have turned from red to sandy orange.

Rolled. Up. Sleeves.

Best not forget what I was doing. I fumble around in the dirt, too weak to stand; too stubborn to rest. There's no razor here, just rock, stone and, oh, flint. Maybe I can chip that into a knife.

I pick up the flint and twist to the right, looking for the edge of the boulder I’m leaning on. My hand slips in the dust and the flint skitters a few inches and falls over an unexpected drop to the side of me.

I have moved from the edge of an internal cliff to the top of an external one. My gut reaction is to move away, find safer ground.


Surely this is an ideal way to finish what I started. . .

“Mandy. Why don’t you take a moment to. . . think on it?”

The silky, masculine voice is behind me, behind the boulder, behind the times! I have done nothing but think on it for four years.

“Nothing will change in a moment.” I strain my neck to look for who is talking but can’t see round the rock.

“Everything can change in a moment. Shall we play a game?”

“I’m not interested in games.”

“It’s an easy one. And if you are still not convinced then I will return you to your bathroom to do as you will.”

“What are the rules?”

“We each roll two dice. Highest score wins. It’s really very simple.”

“And if I win?”

“You get to choose. I can show you a memory, or I can show you how to finish what you started.”

“And if you win?”

“I get to choose. I can show you a memory, or I can show you how to finish what you started.”

“Doesn’t sound much of a game if winning and losing have the same result.”

“Whether they are the same is a matter of perspective.”

“OK, I’ll play, but let’s be specific. If I win then you have to show me how to end my life. This is my third attempt and the closest I’ve come, assuming this place is Purgatory or something. But I’m clearly getting something wrong.”

“Agreed. I’ll go first.”

A pair of black, six-sided dice roll into view. They stop next to each other just an inch from the cliff edge. My companion has rolled two threes.

“Six,” I say. “You rolled six.”

I collect the dice in my fingers and examine their surfaces. Instead of dots they have gold numbers painted on. Beneath each number is the shadowy image of a mask. One die shows Comedy, and one shows Tragedy.

I shake the dice in my hands and blow on them for luck.

I roll.

A two and a three.

“OK you win. What’s it to be?”

The bland landscape fades to black from the edges in, and for a moment there is nothing. And then I see it. It’s 21-year-old me in Elizabethan dress. I'm Juliette on the stage at the Robinson Theatre. I’m taking a bow. The audience is standing, cheering, clapping. My mother throws a single red rose onto the stage from the front row and several more follow it. It’s closing night. My view focusses in on a small girl in the second-row stalls. Her voice is crystal clear in spite of the roaring crowd and she says “Mummy! I know what I want to do! I want to do that!” and she points directly at me, beaming with smiles.

“That girl is in drama school now,” the silky voice says. “She’ll graduate with a distinction next year. She’ll get her big break two years later and end up in the West End, living her dream.”

“Best of three?”

The dusty clifftop reappears in a disorientating swirl, and I steady myself with my hands either side of my hips. The dice have gone.

“Of course.”

He throws two fours.

I throw a one and a four.

I am transported to the playground. I’m ten years old, running at high speed across the netball court towards Peter. He's cowering against the fence, arms in front of his face, fists clenched but not to fight.

“Stop it! Stop it!” I barrel full pelt into the gathering of bigger boys standing around him, jeering. I stick my elbows out and stiffen my arms, making myself into a weapon in Peter’s defence. I push and shove until I’m at the front of the crowd. “Leave him alone!” I help Peter to his feet and stand by his side, yelling back at the nastiness with all the strength I have. The crowd disperses and I offer Peter a hug and some tissues for his bloody nose.

“He’s a lawyer now,” comes the voice. “He gives Legal Aid, taking cases for people who can’t afford to pay. Usually, people he perceives as being bullied by someone bigger.”

The memories are making me think, about times I did well, times I wanted more, times I gave more. . . But two distant memories aren’t a counterbalance for all the horror of the last four years.

“Best of five?” I say as the cliffside hoves back into view, leaving me slightly nauseous.

He throws two fives.

I throw a two and a three.

I am shown the day I called the ambulance after my neighbour fell off his ladder. I stayed with him the whole time, in the ambulance, in the hospital. I stayed long after his wife arrived. I did shopping for her for weeks and picked their kids up from school several times.

“Best of seven,” I say. I’m starting to get addicted to this list of memories that make me want to live. The only way to see more of them is to keep playing the game and hoping that the other guy wins.

He throws two fours.

I throw a one and a six.

I find myself drinking vanilla latte in a cafe in London. Two men are sleeping under newspapers in the doorway of the building opposite. Christmas lights sparkle over the road between us and I have never felt more removed from humanity. I buy two take out teas, two bottles of water and four sandwiches and leave the cafe. The men are so grateful, but I walk away feeling I should have done more.

"Those men are alive because of you. They survived the night and were taken in by a shelter the following day."

"Best of nine."

“This cannot go on for eternity.” The silky voice sounds saddened. “We will have one last round. And no more memories; I grow tired of them. Whoever wins this decides the very final prize.”

I nod and hope to lose one more time.

The dice roll out from behind the boulder.

A four and a five.

“You rolled nine.” I say, directing my voice over my shoulder as I collect the dice.

Two sixes.

My heart pounds in my chest.

It is a matter of perspective.

Can he see that my perspective has changed?

. . .

I find myself back in my bathroom, razor in hand, bleeding into the sink, tears streaming in after.

“It is rare that I let anyone win.” Comes the silky voice from behind me.

I look in the mirror. The figure watching over my shoulder is tall, cloaked, and faceless. He holds two black dice in his skeletal, left hand. A scythe rests in the crook of his arm.

“But you were just, so determined. No one ever plays more than twice.”

The pain from my wrists is overwhelming and I cannot speak through my clenched teeth and nausea.

“The secret,” he says, “is to make vertical cuts.”

The bony, white fingers of his right hand reach round in front of me and take the razor. . .

“Let me help you finish what you started.”

June 06, 2022 22:16

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Zatoichi Mifune
15:06 Jun 14, 2023

Oh my goodness. Sad. Death didn't really give her what she wanted, did it? (That could mean Death the person or the thing) I. Love. it. I can't say any more.


19:20 Jun 14, 2023

Death gets it wrong - but he was only following the rules.


Zatoichi Mifune
09:32 Jun 15, 2023

So Death takes orders from someone? He isn't all-powerful then... Someone else lays down the rules for him. Interesting. But if he isn't all-powerful then who's the one giving him orders? (What do you think?)


10:03 Jun 15, 2023

You may have to reread the story. The girl in the story puts certain conditions on her playing Death's game and Death agrees to those conditions. It's not Death's fault that she changes her mind and Death is not aware of that.


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Graham Kinross
14:08 Oct 02, 2022

Wow, that’s a twisted reaper. I’ve seen so many interpretations of the reaper here now, none quite like yours. I like the dice, nice touch.


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Mark Wilhelm
01:45 Sep 30, 2022

You mentioned in another post that I could also read you're other stories on www.FrighteningTales.com and well... This one comes out tomorrow! Cheers!


20:09 Sep 30, 2022

Just had a listen, it sounds good 👍


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Andrea Doig
14:24 Jun 15, 2022

Hmmmm interesting. I was hoping for a happy ending … but this was more interesting. Kept me reading and wanting to find out more. Like … the horror of the last 4 years etc. Oh dear… the Grim Reaper all along. Clever twist. Well done!!!


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Alex Sultan
04:56 Jun 11, 2022

Hi friend, I hope you are well. I'm sorry I'm late on feedback this week - I still wanted to comment, and write that I enjoyed this story a lot. I'd even say it is one of my favourites of yours, up there with 'Between the Black and White'. I like your take on the prompt, and how creative it was, playing a game of dice with death. I was really captivated. My favourite part was each time Mandy asked to play again, and how she gets addicted to wanting to see her memories. I think the dialogue was very good, too. I can't point it out exactly,...


17:14 Jun 11, 2022

Hi Alex, thank you for the feedback, I'm glad you liked this one so much. The ending took me by surprise too 😂 I was going to make it happy right up until I finished the first draft and then I thought...well that's a bit of a cliche, how can I fix it? And then this happened lol. I don't know if I will write this week, I'm short on time and not sure about the prompts. Let me know if you post something and I'll try to get to it.


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Jon Casper
10:24 Jun 07, 2022

Such a creative premise! I love this line: "I nod and hope to lose one more time." It says so much. In the end, it would seem Mandy's game of dice was with the Grim Reaper. And since Death lost the final throw, he was bound by her original instructions: "If I win, and so choose, then you have to show me how to end my life." If only she had waited until the end of the game to choose! But since she'd already given Death her instructions, he was saddened by her victory, and she was unable to voice her change of heart, due to her pain. She was ...


17:18 Jun 07, 2022

Thank you Jon! Yes, that is what intended. I'm glad it came across. I'm going to try an edit tonight. I'm working on the title but not getting anything good so far. I like your idea of using dice somehow, or perhaps game. I'll see what I can come up with.


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20:30 Jun 07, 2022

Hi Jon, If you do fancy a second read I have just done quite a big edit - unusually it may have ended up slightly longer following this. If you have the time I'd really appreciate you taking a second look. Oh, and it has a new title - but I'm still not convinced by it.


Jon Casper
23:40 Jun 07, 2022

Great job on the revision! Mandy's dilemma is clearer, as is her tragic fate. I like the additional memory with helping the homeless folks. It helps solidify her change of perspective. For line edits: Her voice is crystal clear in spite of the roaring crowd and she says[,] “Mummy! I know what I want to do! I want to do that!” [S]he points directly at me, beaming with smiles. - I would strike the "and" so that "She points..." starts a new sentence. “You rolled nine[,]” I say, directing my voice over my shoulder as I collect the dice. “It ...


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22:35 Jun 06, 2022

AUTHORS NOTE: I'm not sure how clear the ending is and I don't like the title. Any feedback very welcome as always but especially on these two aspects. Many thanks. Updated now and ready for line edits if you would like to leave any. Thanks!


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